Oldies July '98 - July '99
Oldies from July 1998 - July 1999.
Saturday, July 17, 1999
Hi all!
I/we got an appointment with my gynaecologist Peter 17:40 (5:40) in the evening of Tuesday, July 13th.
We found out I was then in week 8 + 2 (days). The "baby" was 18 mm, and we saw it's tiny little heart beat!
Thursday 15th I called the local antenatal (prenatal) clinic and got an appointment for August 5th, at 10:30 in the morning. I can bring Jamettiz along if I want to, and I intend to do that.
Today it is 1 year since Jamettiz got the last of her chemodrugs!!!
Daddy took her to one of her cousins to play today, so I have some time to myself.
I'm have to create a new site for Jamettiz since Yahoo!-GeoCities discriminate towards people who do not have credit cards.
After spending waaaaay too long time on today's update, due to the filemanager not working properly, I'm thinking of actually open up Sweetheart's Café somewhere else on the web too.
If I stated I only wanted *.htm files listed I soon had a list with all the files in the current directory.
When I Previewed and then tried to save what I had done when I was satisfied, it wouldn't save it.
I found a way around it that seems to work, and that is to "save and continue editing", but I've never had to go through so much trouble updating as I have since GeoCities merged with Yahoo!. And they don't even have the decensy to compensate us by giving us another 5 -10 MB of space for our sites...
Now I better mark and copy everything before trying to save it, or else I'll probably just waste a lot more time.
See ya all later!
Luv,
Teenah
Wednesday, July 7, 1999
Hi all!
On the evening of June 21st I made a positive pregnancy test!!
The following morning I called to get an appointment with my gynecologist, only to find out he's on vacation and won't be back until 8th of July.
THAT IS TOMORROW!! :-)
I will call tomorrow morning and try to get an appointment as soon as possible. Until I'm examined we won't know how far along in my pregnancy I am.
See ya all later!
Luv,
Teenah
Monday, May 31, 1999
Jamettiz' follow-up went fine, her bloodcounts were fine and the scans came back clear!
I'm really slow and tired tonight, so I won't be sitting here writing anylonger.
The dragons haven't had a chance to move in yet...
See ya all later!
Luv,
Teenah
Monday, May 17, 1999
Today Magnus and I have been married for 8˝ years!
Soon I will add some dragons I have adopted to this site!
I don't know when it will be, but I hope it will be pretty soon.
I've got a headache, and there's something on TV I would like to see too, so I guess it won't be tonight...
I've "got to" go now.
See ya all later!
Luv,
Teenah
Monday, May 10, 1999
I guess I'm very oversensitive sometimes, but something that happened yesterday made me slightly disturbed and just a tad bit sad.
Hence the poem at this week's Addtion of the Week (week 19).
I guess I might be overreacting and all, but that IS after all quite normal when strong feelings are involved.
Feelings that are "my headache", as "Someone" would express it...
I really quite enjoy the feeling of being in love, but not when it feels like I'm the laughing-stock because of it...
Oh well, it's not That a big deal, but since this is my site I can do whatever I feel like, and right now I felt like "whining" a bit - so sue me!!
Anyway, I've got to go soon.
As I said yesterday I wanted to restructure my site at Angelfire, and I got it done. But when all the files were ready and I was about to create new subdirectories I found out I MAY NOT HAVE ANY OTHER SUBDIRECTORIES THAN /images!!!!
Can you believe that?
So now I have to make more changes to make the pages work without the subdirectories I planned to have.
I even felt like having my "ramblings site" here, at Sweetheart's instead, but I guess I won't move it here anyway.
If I add anything similar to that here it will probably be an online diary or journal - in Swedish.
See ya all later!
Luv,
Teenah
Sunday, May 9, 1999
I had to take a break in the fertility treatment and let my body rest from those medicines.
It felt a bit disappointing, but isn't really a big deal.
I feel like this about it tonight, that if I necessarily Have To worry about something there are larger, more important issues to worry about.
But I try not to worry about anything! :-)
Tomorrow afternoon Jamettiz and her dad will go to his parents!
And I will be home!!!
I'm thinking of trying to get things done to my homepage at Angelfire...
Jamettiz will go on her 5th follow-up on May 20th!
I will go FROM this page Now! *giggle!*
Bye-bye!
Monday, April 5, 1999
It's time to remove the following text snippet from the poetry-index page:
At about 3-3:30 in the morning Thursday the 25th of March a new *.htm file was added.
If you know what season it is now (at least in Sweden) you can probably find it too! Remember - the file ends in ".htm"!
So, there! Now that's done!
I haven't got a lot of news to tell you right now.
Life's pretty calm, and Jamettiz is in some sort of defiant age.
She's making a fuss of little things, and sometimes it appears so ridiculous to me that I hardly know what to say or do. :-)
I'm sure it will soon pass though, and I think many children are less well-behaved when they're "good" than what Jamettiz is when she's into this protesting thing, so I'm not complaining. Just filling you all in on what's up around here! :-)
We got the car back, and it is now sold.
I'm not feeling so bad any longer either.
Now I've got to go and have some breakfast though, and maybe bake a bread too.
See ya'll later!!
Love,
Teenah
Tuesday, March 9, 1999
Uhm, I've not been feeling so well lately.
I realize it may have something or a lot to do with the pressure we've obviously been under with Jamettiz' illness, but I don't think it's fair to "blame it" all on that.
I have a very good friend who doesn't like lies, and that has made me think of things and how I relate to them. It's made me "honesty-intuned", or something...
I don't know if it is so good to try to figure out your reson to why you do or want to do things, but it FEELS right. Though some of the conclusions I've made have made ME feel less good.
Feels like I might not always be so honest to myself...
And fear has a lot to do with things too...
Physically I'm feelig better, and I can basically regard my cold as gone.
With the strike amongst busdrivers here in Sweden I've had to walk when I need to go anywhere, and not seldom has it been in chilly rain, which has made my cold worse.
I've mainly stayed at home since Thursday, only done some grocery shopping at local stores, and now I'm feeling better.
The strike started at midnight the night between Wed. 24th of Feb. and Thu. 25th of Feb.
At Wednesday evening my hubby also found out our car had been stolen, so we had to make last minute arrangements to borrow a car safety seat from friends of ours, and hubby asked his father to drive him and Jamettiz to the hospital at Thursday for her 4th follow-up.
Which leads me to the really good news! :-)
The speck the doctors had seen on her CT scans in January had shrunk and is NOT cancer!
They don't know what it is though, and might want to investigate it at some point, but for now they won't do anything, and Jamettiz' next follow-up is first in approx. 3 months!
Love,
Teenah
Wednesday, February 17, 1999
Sorry for lagging with the Additions of the Week.
Jamettiz is sick. She's got a cold and also inflammation of her ears. She doesn't seem to be in much pain from it though, and she's on penicillin, so she'll probably be fine soon again!
I've still not gotten rid of my cold, but it's not much of a cold any longer.
Soon it's February 25th, and time for Jamettiz' next follow-up!
I need to go now, I'm tired and lagging with more things than only this homepage.
Love,
Teenah
Sunday, February 7, 1999
YES!!!!
There's finally a contributor to Addition of the Week again!!
Well, I did actually ask the person in question, my brother Jonas, to contribute, since I don't know where my book of poems is right now...
I WISH MORE PERSONS WOULD CONTRIBUTE!!!
It could be a poem, a lullaby, a nursery rhyme, a short story or something similar, that You have written yourself.
I went out earlier this evening (it's soon midnight) and made a lantern made of snowballs between the houses, infront of the door to our building of apartments.
It's a little bit of a pity that the yard is so well lit up, it would have looked even more beautiful had it stood in the dark.
I did talk to one of my neighbours over ICQ, and both her and her boyfriend had thought it looked nice though, and that was the purpose - that all of us living around the yard would enjoy it!
They better! I had to do it with bare hands, since the snow stuck to my mittens, and now my hands are swollen and aching.
I put 10 tea candles in it, so I count on at least a few of them lasting till they're burnt out.
Not to brag, but I'm quite pleased with myself.
Well, I'm really too tired (and too sick - I've got a cold since a few days back) to sit here writing much longer.
Love,
Teenah
Monday - Tuesday, February 1-2, 1999
I found out I wasn't pregnant - the medication hadn't even managed to make me ovulate!!
My doc told me to take twice as big dose as the last time (which equals a three times as big dose as what is "normal").
At Thursday the 14th it was the third follow-up visit for Jamettiz.
We didn't find out whether she has or hasn't got new lungmetastases.
They did however find a speck on the CT scans that they didn't see there at the second follow-up (at Nov 18th, 1998).
It's in the surgery area at her right side (that is in the area of her right lung where she had surgery on August 10th last year), and the doctors say it can either be related to the surgery, or be yet another relapse.
The only measures taken is that we'll go back to the hospital for her next follow-up as soon as week 8.
Had her scans been unchanged compared to the scans from follow-up number 2, she would have started coming for follow-ups with 3 months in between.
Now we're just trying to do as many nice things as possible while waiting for the 4th follow-up.
On another note, I feel I ought to apologize for beeing late with adding Addition of the Week.
I've been busy, and had planned to add it yesterday (Sunday 31st). But we started re-arranging furniture since hubby has got himself a brand new computer (and guess who gets stuck with the OLD one???), so we did a clever takeover of Jamettiz' room!
We split our livingroom in two with bookcases, so she got the half that is next to our bedroom.
It seems to be working fine so far!
Anyway, we weren't done with moving my desk and assembling our computers until 3:15 in the morning...
To give you a hint - assembling the computers didn't take many minutes even for me who have never ever done it.
Another hint on what took time is that I filled at least 4 removal boxes with the stuff that was ON my desk - without removing anything from the eight (8) drawers...
We also needed to clear space in the livingroom (where we had the old computer before) to move Jamettiz' things there, in order to reclaim "her" room as ours, and we worked at a pace that felt good for each of us.
I'm tired. I'll just finish off today's adding to this site, and then I'll probably hit the sack.
Till the next time: Hugs and Kisses!
Love,
Teenah
Monday - Tuesday, January 11-12, 1999
Hmm, I don't know whether I'm pregnant or not...
I'm sure I'll find out within a few days, but it feels odd not knowing...
At Thursday the 14th it's time for another follow-up visit for Jamettiz.
As "always" - everytime she coughs or something I fear there will be new lungmetastases. I'll know which in only a few days, so it's really no point in worrying.
Then again, when you have high hopes and expectations things can feel like they really go wrong, and I'm not good at not hoping and expecting things...
I hope I'll learn not to hope/expect so much, or - if I don't learn - at least that I will learn to see the good about being the way I am!
Sunday the 10th we got the first snow this year here, but only a little of it.
Tonight there's a lot more.
I love it, it's beautiful!!
Well, it's past 2 in the night, I have work-out to do at my new, nice gym equipment, and there's a lot more I could occupy myself with if I have much energy left after that!
See ya!
Sunday, December 6, 1998
Hi again!
In the end of October I started a treatment to become pregnant.
Previously I've mentioned taking St. John's Wort pills towards depression, but you're not recommended taking them if you're pregnant or breastfeeding. Every since there's been a risk I am pregnant I've been off them, and I've felt shittier and shittier.
Today I found out I'm not pregnant, so now I can take them again!
Usually, finding out I'm not pregnant when I try to become pregnant would make me a little bit sad, but not this time. I'm so glad I'll get approximately 2 weeks when I can take Movina (the St. John's Wort pills)!
But I DO hope I will manage to get pregnant soon. I think I will get by for a few months without Movina.
Friday, October 16, 1998
Monday the 12th we found out that Jamettiz' CT scans were clear, there are no metastases!!!
She didn't get upset about the bed either, but is still sleeping half the night in our bed.
My only consolation is that it won't be forever.
I want a MAN in my bed, not a child! With exception for the times when I am pregnant - I won't have much of choice then.
I have a new e-mail address now!
It is:
teenah@zpenzer.com
Sunday, October 11, 1998
I remodelled this site October 1st, and the art section is now available to see, visit and enjoy, and don't forget to send John Faulkner a card and tell him what you think of his exclusive, handcarved toys and paintings! ;-)
Thursday, October 8 we were at the hospital with Jamettiz for the first follow-up visit since she was discharged September 7th.
Her blood counts were fine, and tomorrow we'll find out what the CT scans looked like.
Our computer got infected with a Trojan Horse some days ago, but thanx to my great friend Sven and my hubby we got rid of it, and now have sufficient protection towards it.
I'm so glad I can continue like before.
Jamettiz got a new (but used) bed tonight!
She fell asleep in my arms before the bed had arrived here, so she still doesn't know she's got another bed than the one she's used to.
It'll be fun seeing her expression tomorrow when she notices it!
I hope she won't get upset.
Wednesday, September 23, 1998
I'm currently working on some pages at home that I will expand my site with.
Those pages will contain art in different forms.
DO come back soon and check it out!!
Sunday, September 6th, 1998
Jamettiz won't have surgery next week either.
The CT-scans + x-rays she had done Wednesday, September 2nd came back clear!
We'll go to the hospital tomorrow, Monday, to find out the details of what happens next in
our lives from a medical point of view.
Saturday, August 29th, 1998
Jamettiz won't have surgery next week.
She was supposed to have done CT + x-rays this week, but she didn't get an appointment until Wednesday, September 2nd. We think she'll have surgery week 37 instead.
I updated her site yesterday, visit it! :-) There's a link to it at my page with links.
Sunday, August 23rd, 1998
Lots of good news this week!
The lesser ones are that I got myself a package of the herb (for info on What herb, see Oldies), and that I bought myself a new keyboard for the computer.
But the really GREAT news is that one of Jamettiz' doctors, Albert, called at Friday afternoon. He said the test result of what they removed at August 10th showed that there were no living cancer cells whatsoever left!!
My hubby and I celebrated the good news a little bit with going out eating.
Lets hope we'll have a reason to celebrate again in a few weeks, when the test results of what they will remove week 36 come back.
Gotta go now, I'm too tired.
Monday, August 17th, 1998
The following text hardly fits in this section, but it's my site, so I can do pretty much what I feel like.
I'm not feeling too well, and I think it might have something
to do with the fact that I've been without my St.John's Wort for about 2 weeks now. St. John's Wort is an alternative medication I use towards my depressions, and so far it helps me.
I'm also rather annoyed by the fact that our keyboard doesn't work properly.
Monday, August 17th, 1998
It's around 03:00 (CET) in the night, and I'm just writing this to let you all know I postpone the adding of "Addition of the Week" for week 33, to later this day.
WHEN I add, I will add a poem about Jamettiz before she was born, "I ett eget litet universum" ("In a small universe of your own").
I've been busy with Jamettiz' surgery and taking care of her after the surgery as well.
Besides, my husband was at home relaxing for 1˝ days when I was at the hospital with her (after we had come back from the children thoracic intensive care unit to the ward Jamettiz is usually on, that is).
We came back home Thursday, and at Friday we went for a check-up to the hospital, which took most of the day.
At Saturday evening he was out fishing for some hours, and Sunday evening he did that too.
I know it's not much of an excuse, and I guess hardly even a reasonable explanation, but I find it slightly complicating to properly take care of a soon 16 months old child who craves attention, at the same time as I update my site.
I'm not one of the "super-mothers" Geocities seems to be crowded with, who can cope with everything and are good at multitasking. I'm just one of those who try to do what I can cope with - though sometimes it isn't very much - and try to hang in there.
Sunday, August 9th,1998
It's the night between Saturday and Sunday.
Tonight, Sunday night, that is, we'll go to the hospital with Jamettiz, and I can't guarantee I will come home before week 34 (August 17-23). If I'm not at home I won't have any oppportunity to add something next week.
The surgery that Jamettiz will have at Monday morning isn't at all life threatening, and we're likely to be home with her within a week after it's done. When she's gained back strength after that surgery she'll have another one. The surgeon thinks it will take her 2-3 weeks to "bounce back". After that we hope she'll be cancer free.
Now I need to get some sleep.
Thursday, August 6th,1998
Yesterday we got a call from the ward.
Jamettiz will have surgery on Monday, August 10th.
Tomorrow we will go to the hospital in the afternoon to have a talk with the surgeon, and perhaps with the anesthetist too.
I'm hopefull and nervous at the same time.
Though my intention is to do something at this site at least once a week, I honestly doubt I will get around to it next week. But do check in, you never know! :-)
I still haven't decided on what I'll add this week, but it might be a lullaby I wrote for one of Jamettiz' cousins some years ago.
I've started working on a major update of Jamettiz' site (at home), and I hope I will have it up and running soon.
I must go now, my friend John F. will call me any minute, so I have to go offline! :-)
August 2nd,1998
At Wednesday we found out Jamettiz won't get any more chemo treatment, instead she'll have surgery within some weeks, so I've been at home with her this week too. Well, with exception for yesterday for some hours, when we went to the hospital to have her checked, since we had seen something looking like some kind of rash on her tummy. As far as the doctor could tell it only looked like contact allergy, so we could go back home again. We'll see later on if she actually seem to develop some allergy. At least she doesn't seem to have any problems from it so far.
Later on today I will add something to "Addition of the Week".
Now it's soon time for Jamettiz to get an afternoon-bottle.
See ya!
July 27th, 1998
This week, week 31, I will spend some time with my baby in the hospital when she gets her chemo treatment, so it's
possible I won't have the time, energy or opportunity to add something this week. I will do my best though! :-)
I would also like to tell the world that my wonderful, nice and funny neighbour comes home from her 5 weeks long
vacation in USA! Welcome Home, Joy!!
Have a great week all of ya now!
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