Wildheart's Poetry

Volume I

Dream of me as you wish -
a goddess on a mountain top
or an angel floating in air
     always unattainable
     forever out of reach
See me as your dream
and love me from afar
     because no one could love a goddess
     enough to make her stay
     and from your arms an angel
     will always stray
But, if for one moment
I, like a goddess
could give you anything
     my gift to you would be
     the courage to look me in the eye
     and see me as I am

In these days of absence
     I spend my time
finding rainbows
     for us to share
gathering warmth
     from the sun
     to give to you
At night I dream of your return
     and catch the stars
     and save them in my pocket
     so your eyes will sparkle
     when you see me again

At last only one place to go
     after so many hours
     and so many miles
     with the world all around me
At last into your arms
     where I belong
     with your love all around me
     into your eyes
     I will gaze and see
At last only you and me
At last only you

The ghost of my mind
     follows me through the day
The little shadows
          that I can almost see
     in the corner of my eye
     they come without warning
          gone in a blink
In the fallen dust of the hour
     I search for clues
For the caster of shadows
     returned from the dead
I hear you calling
     from your realm of the unknown
     the eerie sighs
          and long, lonely cries
     mix with the wind,
          the trees,
          and the falling leaves
You have become the air
     and as I breathe
I can feel you pulling me away

In familiar eyes
     and in murky waters
I have seen the face of death
In every home I have seen photographs
     that hold moments
          and trap the river of time
In the face of death I see all that is fragile
          and vulnerable
     all that cannot be captured
          by a photograph and hung on a wall
Looking at the face of death
     I am stopped cold
Face to face with eternity
staring into an open grave
desperately searching for a halo of life
     for memories that match the photographs
     but a shadow covers any sign of light
     and visions of death are all I find
Permanent reminders that nothing I see
     can escape that subtle gaze
     the river will flow
          carrying memories to the sea
And all photographs turn to dust

I can think of no sad songs
     that will remind me of you
Mournful words I try to write
     of love's loss and lessons learned
     of tears and regrets
          Oh, yes I try
A broken heart should wallow in eloquence
So long, goodbye
     that's all I can do
No fond farewell from me to you
The fornlorn looks, though I try
     melt into painted smiles
          that strangers give
     the pleasant face of someone
          you loved
but never took the time to know

Let fate be true
     like a perfect blue sky
too blue to be true
     reminds me why
Why fate guides you
     (let it go, let it go)
     always to the right place
     always to the way things should be
Those feelings of doubt
          in my face
Let them go
like fine clouds
          like a mist
without a trace
from an impossible situation
          an endless chase
          let it go
to perfect blue
reminds me how
          fate can save you
if your heart is strong
     enough to leave false hopes
     where they belong
     how fate can show you
Crystal clear reality
the way it should be
     the way it always was
     end the game
          of chasing what will
     only destroy me
     send me on a clear perfect path
     to what I really want
(go through, go through)
Clear path leads
     to a clear blue sky
     a halo of light
Go through it
     and you will know
          that you are right

Looking up to a stone of white
rising against the sky
A dark blue sky, a halo of light
shining on a circle of green
covers and holds me down

Tread upon me to mourn a loss
listen to the sad words:
Beloved garden now all green
grass growing where flowers should be
They do not want the garden this way
They cannot face the stone
and so they turn away

A circle of green, all alone
looking at a stone
A stone of white, a stone for what?
perfectly smooth, all I can see
It cannot be for me

Floating above the stone and grass
into the deep blue sky
I must leave, away I fly
from this garden of someone else
above the earth I go
through the halo of light

Never leave the altar
     your heart, your stomach
          your very core
     left ripped open for all to see
From high above
     scan far and wide
     the adoring masses gather
Believing you will serve your purpose
     and then be gone
But you have fooled them
You will never leave the altar
     they forced you up there
     You have every right to stay
Bleed and bleed
     the eternal sacrifice
     if only they had left you alone
Once their means
     now you're the end
Now they will watch you bleed
Everyday the solemn procession
Everyday the first cut
Everyday the first drop
Relive, relive
     never let it end
A sacrifice
     greater than any other
     becomes the ritual that never dies

That's not why you're here
No, you've come to send me down that dark path
Never again, I had said
     keep my feet on the ground
     keep the clouds from my head
But you, with your heart on your sleeve
          and a child in your eyes
          run to me
          like some wild dream
     craving a little stability
     certain that I am what you need
I feel your gaze upon me
     as you look into my soul
     and see what my mind denies
You can almost make me believe
     that you're not in love
     with the person you imagine me to be
Don't tell me stories
     about how you've changed
          matured and grown
     and are ready to settle down
Sincere, though you are
I know why you're really here
     and what we will become
You've made yourself believe
that I'm the answer to your prayers
but I can't save you from your destiny
     So, don't tell me lies
     about a future that can never be
     and dreams
          that you've never had
© Wildheart 1992

"Canon in D" - Johann Pachelbel