if I close my eyes
I can almost feel him
When I reach for him
I realize
three thousand miles
between us
I understand
a thousand times
how far away he really is
Today I'll pack my bags
begin a journey
three thousand miles
one step at a time
Can you feel me getting closer?
© Wildheart 2000
here's another bead
You fit so well
on my friendship bracelet
as I tie the knot
that keeps you in your place
That's wonderful and ordinary
to know you'll never go
beyond a certain point
If I wished for more
If I dreamt of something else
a different way for us to be
a different way to weave you into my world
would the dream come true?
Oh, Goddess Fortune
look me in the eye
as you
spin your wheel
I will weave whatever your string brings me
but please tell me -
does the thread of life
always begin and end the same
no matter how I arrange the beads?
© Wildheart 2000
and where are you
Strength ebbing from my mind
If he doesn't call
I will hunt him down
Planes crash
work wraps around
like a prison cell
buried so deep in the ocean
no one escapes
can't move
can't move
can't breathe
Can't remember the last time it rained
nor the last time I talked to you
Obsession, depression
tunnel vision
No reason for this desperation
but I won't let it go
Searing sun, dead grass, dust devils
It will never rain again
Planes crash
Buildings explode
and still work wraps around
to smother my life and mind
Pick up the phone and die an early death
He still isn't here
This is how I feel
in my more desperate moments
This is the last poem I will ever write
© Wildheart 1998
Faded names
that I never wanted to know
Decorate the pages
of my wasted years
hidden in a book I made 20 years ago
but had never seen
Although I've no nostalgia for an empty past
for some reason I'm wondering
Maybe I knew that girl
we might have been in the same English class
or was it geometry?
I think I had a crush on that boy
or maybe that one
In all honesty,
I can't remember how I felt about them at the time
I never took the time
to memorize these lives
that floated around mine
for a few years
a few wasted years
Now, looking into strange eyes
on faces that seem familiar
if we ever spoke, the words are gone
those voices are not part of my past
a past too easy to forget
Once I could have known you all
just one chance
I never really took the time
I never really looked
or thought I'd care
I closed that book the day it arrived
pulled those names and faces from my mind
left them in my closet
mothballed my friendships and crushes
then flew away with all I needed
never to return
I hid my worst years
believing they were best forgotten
Never believing that one day
I'd wish that I could remember
those names and faces
that almost became part of my life
© Wildheart 2000
I notice when you're gone
Before it didn't matter
a face in the crowd
But then I thought something might be different
and it probably was
You were different from the crowd
I made you special
when I decided you were unique
A big step to wade through the masses
Not noticing would have been better
Easier than always seeing your face
and knowing I'm not unique
just a face in the crowd
Noticing hurts
as I slip away from you
......back into the crowd
© Wildheart 2000
interupt that stream
of endless thoughts
that starts from my brain
and flows to the farthest star
How do I grasp an infinite stream
when I must remember
that green means go
and red means stop
You know the feeling
Your thoughts stretch for miles
down the highway
beyond the horizon
where you want to follow
Then you must make a left turn
go where you must go
and the thoughts end
spill over the horizon
flow to the stars
without you
© Wildheart 2000
so good that I want to scream
at pictures of your life
This pain
falls from the sky
falls into everything I deny
I know you like my smile
that I made just for you
picture perfect just for you
But do you know
how I long for you
how I hate pretty pictures of
innocent eyes that are blue
like yours
You don't have a clue
These tears
falling from my eyes
falling from the sky
catch them
save them
maybe some day I'll find
a real reason for them
Every now & then
I want to tell you how I really feel
Then I remember
all the hearts that might break
in those innocent eyes
in those pictures of your life
My life
fell from the sky
fell into a lie
when I hit the ground
I remember the truth
I'm not part of your life
© Wildheart 2000
The lack of concern
leaves no room to breathe
Without oxygen
the mind can neglect with ease
the world will never know
facts float by the window
as toddlers toddle thru traffic
while mothers pop their children's Prozac
keeping it down with some Clariten
no room to sneeze or cry
The walls collapse
around the mime in a box
but I need space
the mental suffocation implodes
No silent witness am I
to abuse and neglect
Kill the moment
I'm into the daylight
Breathe the air
I know the truth
and I'll tell the world
Life's so dangerous when you think you
are only pretending to be dangerous
and believe that angels can see
while your eyes are closed
I run through the door
my possibilities now endless
Leaving unowned emotions on the kitchen table
they slow me down
and they're not mine
Call me for the graduations
or the funerals
which ever come first
© Wildheart 2000
ends infinity
counts days
brings end
deadline
firewall
day break
I say
small talk
Big Talk
turns real
time's up
tell all
sunset
brings night
moon glow
one month
I doubt
I'd know
unless
I count
the days
© Wildheart 2000
A faint star in the sky
I forgot
how I'm supposed to feel about you
at this time of night
Maybe you were something important
Once I couldn't stop thinking about you and me
we formed a lovely constellation
a beautiful sight
a legend in light
against the diamond dust of the black sky
But something got lost
a great mystic story
turned forgotten myth
I don't remember what you meant to me
now that we're just glitter in the vast universe
the distance too great
your star too faint
no line traced from yours to mine
insignificant flecks
follow me like a dying comet
on a last trip through Earth's atmosphere
Even the bightest suns fade
collapse into emptiness
maybe someone will look across the universe
and try to imagine if some one else
were ever there
© Wildheart 2000
