The Ex Files
Some jokes to lighten the mood
I'm not saying my EX-wife is fat, but........
She once went on a cruise, and they moved her to three different cabins before they could get the ship to ballast properly.
During the same cruise the ship ran into a heavy storm and the Captain requested she not go to any of the upper decks, for fear of capsizing the ship.
She was going to fly one time, and the airline charged her for excess baggage. She had NO luggage on that flight.
She took a bus tour in Mexico, and after the the bus stalled on the first hill, they made her get out and walk whenever they came to a big hill.
She went to one of those clinics where they measure the amount of body fat a person has, and emptied the measuring tank when she got in.
She had her pass revoked to a local recreation pool when the manager was making a tour of the facility, and found a small boy sitting by the side of the pool crying. When the manager asked the kid what was wrong the kid could only point and whimper, "Free Willie." She was the only one in the pool. They gave the reason she was upsetting other guests of the facility.
She sued three major garment manufactures when their "One-size-fits-all" didn't... if you ever buy any of their clothes now you'll know who they are; they now have a disclaimer sewn into their garments saying: "One size fits all, EXCEPT *************".
She got in on the spandex craze, and seriosly injured three people who were standing too close by when a seam on her tights let go and they got hit by the "fallout".
In most public buildings the only elevator she is allowed to ride, by law, is the freight elevator... because of safety weight restrictions.
Return to the Main Page
E-mail Sly Fox