Scene 5
During the blackout we hear a muffled Latin beat and the sound
of a pop tune emanating from the phonograph. Then the lights come up and
we are back in the Adams living room two mornings later. LOBELIA is dusting
the furniture while humming the song sung by a female voice in the style
of the late 30s.
FEMALE VOICE (o.s.)
Three days in Havana,
Two nights of romance---
That's what the ad said,
So I gave it a chance.
I went to Havana
On one of those deals;
He was a Latin,
I fell head over heels.
(Song continues as the doorbell rings. LOBELIA answers
it. GOLDIE enters with a plate in her hands.)
LOBELIA
Mornin', Mrs. A.
GOLDIE
I brought Mr. Adams some kasha knishes.
LOBELIA
I don' know what powers you got over dat man, but yo' can get him to
eat things he wouldn't touch if anyone else made dem.
(taking the plate and setting it on the desk)
Mr. Adams, he ain't up yet, an' Miz Adams, she getting' dressed.
GOLDIE
(humming to the tune on the phonograph)
I love that song.
LOBELIA
Me, too. Three days in Havana wid nothin' to clean.
(The orchestra now picks up the melody.)
GOLDIE
Three days in Havana,
Two nights of romance---
LOBELIA
That's what the ad said,
So I gave it a chance.
TOGETHER
I went to Havana
On one of those deals;
He was a Latin,
I fell head over heels.
We'd sip our rum and Coca-Cola
Beneath the tropical sun;
He sang to me his Cuban love song
When the beguine had begun.
And now we are married
And scaling the heights
From three days in Havana
And two fabulous nights.
Three days in Havana
And two fabulous nights!
(BOTH take shawls from the furniture and wrap them around their
waists and shoulders as THEY dance to the Latin beat. ADELINE appears from
her room. The TWO, aware of how foolish they must seem, suddenly cease.)
ADELINE
No, please. Don't stop. Is that the rumba?
LOBELIA
Sho' nuff.
ADELINE
Everyone seems able to do it, except me.
GOLDIE
It's easy. Look, darling. One-two-three-four…one-two-three-four…
LOBELIA
One-two-three-four…
(ADELINE is gradually getting it as GOLDIE and LOBELIA lead
her into the dance.)
GOLDIE
Wait!
(SHE wraps her shawl around Adeline's shoulders, pulls out a
lipstick and compact and applies loads of makeup on Adeline's face.)
ADELINE
Goldie, what on earth…?
(Goldie's task completed, ADELINE checks herself in the mirror.)
GOLDIE
Presto! Changeo! A Spanish dancer!
ADELINE
My heavens!
GOLDIE
And now…presenting Conchita Pepita and her Hot Tamales!
ALL THREE
Three days in Havana,
Two nights of romance---
That's what the ad said,
So I gave it a chance.
I went to Havana
On one of those deals;
He was a Latin,
I fell head over heels.
We'd sip our rum and Coca-Cola
Beneath the tropical sun;
He sang to me his Cuban love song
When the beguine had begun.
And now we are married
And scaling the heights
From three days in Havana
And two fabulous nights.
Three days in Havana
And two fabulous nights!
(By the end of the number, ADELINE is holding her sides and
laughing.)
GOLDIE
Don't let me bother you, darling. Just dropped by with some knishes
for your father's lunch. I'll be back tonight to cook a special meal for
you both. And don't worry. You can go see the rest of Love on the Run.
I'll take care of your father.
ADELINE
But Elma is bringing Bradley by this evening. It's her mother again.
GOLDIE
So I can't take care of both of them?
ADELINE
Goldie, you are an angel. I couldn't have fainted in a better place.
(GOLDIE kisses her on the cheek and exits through the front
door. LOBELIA retires to the kitchen.)
ADELINE
How come the only people who kiss me are other women?
(to herself, wistfully)
Three days in Havana,
Two nights of romance---
That's what the ad said,
So I gave it a chance.
(ADELINE moves to the window and gazes out. Lights dim and come
up stage left in the kitchen. LOBELIA is not there for this is Adeline's
fantasy world. A big, hunky MILKMAN enters with a milk rack. ADELINE appears
in the doorway, playing the temptress.)
ADELINE
I beg your pardon. You must be the new milkman.
MILKMAN
That's right, ma'am. And you?
ADELINE
By day, Adeline Adams. By night, Conchita Pepita of Hacienda, Mejico.
MILKMAN
By day, a limey. By night, a wetback.
ADELINE
What a curious thing to say…considering this is only my fantasy.
(blinking her eyes flirtatiously)
Would you like to have my baby?
MILKMAN
You're giving away your own baby?!
ADELINE
Good heavens, no! Would you like to give me a baby? It wouldn't
take long…and just think of the rise in sales of your milk.
MILKMAN
I do the chasin', lady. And I don't chase limeys or wetbacks.
ADELINE
Just for that, cancel all further cottage cheese.
(MILKMAN scoffs, swaggers through the back door. Lights dim
and rise stage left. CHICK is at a typewriter. ADELINE moves into his line
of vision.)
CHICK
Why, it's…
ADELINE
(sexy and throaty)
Adeline.
CHICK
Why, Miss Adams. I've never seen you without your glasses before.
ADELINE
Some difference, ain't it, Chick?
(SHE plops herself into his lap.)
CHICK
Why, Miss Adams!
ADELINE
(sultrily)
Three days in Havana,
Two nights of romance---
That's what the ad said,
So I gave it a chance.
(beginning to dance about him, clicking castanets and moving
with all the seductiveness she can muster)
I went to Havana
On one of those deals;
He was a Latin,
I fell head over heels.
We'd sip our rum and Coca-Cola
Beneath the tropical sun;
He sang to me his Cuban love song
When the beguine had begun…
CHICK
Miss Adams, please. I have a girl friend. She's gorgeous.
ADELINE
What difference does that make to a Spanish dancer?
CHICK
Well, if you must know, you're old enough to be my mother.
(Lights black out stage left, some up again in the living room.
ADELINE moves back center stage.)
ADELINE
Reality is even creeping into my fantasy world.
(Lights come up stage right. DR. PEYSER sits at his desk, stethoscope
around his neck.)
DR. PEYSER
Next! Oh, Miss Adams. For a moment I didn't recognize you. What can
I do for you today?
ADELINE
Dr. Peyser, I think I'm suffering from Spanish dancer's disease.
DR. PEYSER
A not uncommon malady at your age.
ADELINE
(aside)
Why always my age?
DR. PEYSER
Brought on by slippage and dwindling box-office appeal. Rather like
change of life.
ADELINE
That's it, Dr. Peyser. I want you to change my life.
DR. PEYSER
Well, you know I'm always at your disposal.
ADELINE
For babies?
DR. PEYSER
I beg your pardon.
ADELINE
I want you to give me a baby.
DR. PEYSER
Miss Adams. I am a doctor. I do not sell my patients' children.
ADELINE
No. I want to have a baby by you.
DR. PEYSER
Me? Why me?
ADELINE
You're good-looking and you're a professional man. Most of all, Dr.
Peyser, you're tall. American women seem to have a fetish about tall men.
He can have acne and a goiter, but as long as he's tall…
DR. PEYSER
What would my wife say? And my four children? Go home, Miss Adams. Forget
this ridiculous idea. And stop dancing the rumba.
ADELINE
Only by night, Dr. Peyser…only by night.
(Lights come up in living room, dim stage left.)
ADELINE
No one wants me…even in my daydreams.
(Doorbell rings. SHE opens the door. WILL BRYMAN stands there,
a suitcase in his hand. HE is a ferret of a man with a heavy southern drawl
and a great deal of simulated energy.)
WILL
Mornin', gorgeous. Is the lady o' the house at home? Tell her Will Bryman
is back, her friendly Fuller Brush man.
ADELINE
Mr. Bryman, it's I…Miss Adams.
WILL
You! Why it cain't be! No one can change that much in six months!
ADELINE
I know. You've never seen me before without my glasses.
WILL
Huh?
ADELINE
Nothing. I'm just going to wash this silly makeup off.
WILL
No!
ADELINE
You're serious.
WILL
Why, if I wasn't a married man…
ADELINE
Really, Mr. Bryman.
WILL
Why, you look as good as any o' them gals down at the Palmetto.
ADELINE
Where?
WILL
The Palmetto Bar and Grill. Don't tell me you never heard o' it? Right
there over on ole Brickle Avenue.
ADELINE
Oh?
WILL
Not that a lady like you would ever be seen in a place like that. Now
let me show you the new line we just got in.
ADELINE
We don't need any brushes.
WILL
But, honey, wait till you see the brand-new Chungking bristle fingernail
brush with a genuine shellacked hard maple handle.
ADELINE
No, really.
WILL
Maybe not for you, but how's about your daddy. I'm sure he could use
a Chungking bristle fingernail brush. And I got a doozy of a free gift…a
handy, dandy little pastry brush.
ADELINE
We have all the brushes we need.
WILL
Okey, dokey. But just in case you change yo' mind, here's my card. You
can get me at the Broward Hotel.
(SHE takes the card mechanically.)
ADELINE
Yes...old Brickle Avenue....
