Jealous Guy

Jealous Guy

John Lennon

          I was dreaming of the past
          And my heart was beating fast
          I began to lose control
          I began to lose control

          I didn't mean to hurt you
          I'm sorry that I made you cry
          Oh no, I didn't want to hurt you
          I'm just a jealous guy

          I was feeling insecure
          You might not love me anymore
          I was shivering inside
          I was shivering inside

          I didn't mean to hurt you
          I'm sorry that I made you cry
          Oh no, I didn't want to hurt you
          I'm just a jealous guy

          I was trying to catch your eyes
          Thought that you was trying to hide
          I was swallowing my pain
          I was swallowing my pain

          I didn't mean to hurt you
          I'm sorry that I made you cry
          Oh no, I didn't want to hurt you
          I'm just a jealous guy, watch out
          I'm just a jealous guy, look out babe
          I'm just a jealous guy

What do you feel after glancing the Jealous Guy? I think John must have such sorrow memory before composing Jealous
Guy. I felt I'm lucky that I've not hurt anyone and needless to say sorry. And my heart beats faster when I dream about the past... but it's simple that happiness would not ever stay with a person, this fact can imply to all events happening in your life. Let change the phase. When you were young, you were happy if you got a bundle of flower. Time went fast, when you grew up. Say you'll be happy that you not only want to be happy alone, but you also want to make others to be happy, sharing your happy experiences with your best friends (if they want to listen to your stories). Can you recall what you had responded when you were happy? Like this - (^_^) or :-) ? It's a smile. A baby sees its parents and it smiles. It's the only thing that I apparently missed. I don't know why. In my past, smiles were an easy action... But now, I was CHANGED... I found very very difficult to smile from my heart. I can still put on a fake smile on my face, but I don't like it,odd and awful. When I faced my best friends, I won't get such "mask" on my face, I'll ONLY smile when my heart does feel "Yes, it's time to smile". I can say I'm a two-faced man, but it's forced by the eyes falling onto me. If you don't know me, you may see me as very angry normally. I'm not indeed! Many people told me about that, saying me I gonna be angry with all the people or they felt I was down. Nope! They don't understand me at all. And I have ever explained to them... I was quite disappointed that one of them was one of my best friends... Let go back to happiness. Will happiness drive you to lose control? Losing control to what? For what? When you bathed in joys, you will not find out the answers, you'll never know till you waked up. Now, I'm totally clear in mind what the answer I had tried hard to look for. I know what the problems are and how to sort them out. Few weeks ago, I took it grant that I had had the answer, but I was wrong! Hopefully, I figured it out, it's not late but not too early. Since I'd been hurt once and once, had sheded tears drop by drop and lost game by game. I might ask myself why it can hurt me so serious and why I stood the pains again and again. I'd heard something like "Deep love makes a pain scare and lasts long till a new seed grows." it's from Mars and Venuse. I didn't mean I'd hurt by love but it's something similar to that shit. Oh! today's weather is very cool, I'm just shivering inside... this winter must be very cool, I must be freezed and my wounds must be more painful... I'll not find the "Mecdicine" instead, I'll continue to dream about the past and swallow my pain. By the way, there are two more passes for me to go. HKAL is the final boss of this stage, I get all the tools and weapons to shoot it down. I'm on fire now that nothing to be afriad of. Hope all Xs can go with me to the bright way.

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Message Posted : 30/11/97