Alaska's
Story.....
For ten years after my brief
experiences at six and eight years old of owning a dog, I yearned for another dog. I
rejoiced at the chance to walk a neighbor's dog and I frequented the alleys visiting dogs
through the yard fences. Then at the age of eighteen, I saw you. You were in
an exercise pen with a few other littermates tearing about in a great game of chase.
When I stopped to watch, only you stopped and came to the pen's wire to see me. Snow
white with a touch of cream down your spine, you sported a silly cowlick on your
back. This caused you to later get many comments on the possibility of Ridgeback in
your ancestory. It was love at first sight for us.
I ran to the pay phone
outside of the pet store and called Dad. I could barely contain the excitement in
my voice as I begged for you. Heck! You only cost ten dollars and the pet
store owner said that you were Sheltie/Smooth Coated Fox Terrier...a small dog for
sure. When Dad said "yes", ten years of longing crashed upon me. I
nervously went into the pet store and paid the man. You were as nervous as me,
standing there timidly away from your siblings with your tail tucked in submission.
At home, you proved
yourself highly intelligent. Within an hour of being in your new home, you had found
a bag of potato chips to share and then we found you under an end table. There was a
folded newspaper laying there and you were politely "raining" on it. You
were so fastidious that you never dreamed of wetting the carpet. In fact, Mom soon
had you trained to not touch your nose to the windows and leave nose prints.
As a pet store sold pup,
you had your share of problems. We had to treat your little insides for coccidia,
worms and tapes. On the outside, the fleas had made you their home.
Once, you were rushed to emergency after a spider bite that looked like it may have been
the work of a Black Widow. Also as a pup, you thought that you'd try a taste of
bee. Your face swelled to the size of a grapefruit and scared me so. After
that, for ten years you were fairly healthy.
You were my dearest
friend. While all of my friends drove to the beach and enjoyed their freedom that
summer, I hung out with my pal: Alaska. We played ball, hiked the Vista
valleys, and explored the fields. We napped in the lowering rays of the sun on my
bedroom floor and chased cats who dared to enter our yard. A "sssssssssst"
sent you bounding like an antelope about the yard looking for the wayward cat.
Sometimes when no cat was around, I "ssssssssssssst" just to see you bounce
about. Sometimes, I took you to the beach in my black Camaro which was white
inside by the end of the excursion! While I caught waves in the surf, you always
watched and waited patiently next to my beach chair and towel. Never did you wander.
I tried my hand at
training you. You were so forgiving. I had never trained a dog, but had
poured over books on dogs for years. I'll never forget trying to teach you to heel
by dragging you along next to me. It was a warm summer night, and a woman visiting a
neighbor was watching me "drag" you along. I do not know who she was, but
she demonstrated the "pop" of the correction collar and an about turn in order
to teach the heel. From there on, you became one of the most obedient and eager to
please dogs that I have ever known. I truly do believe that there was Sheltie in
your blood.
You became the whole
family's dog, though ever faithful to me. You guarded our house with your
protective bark, watched over my toddling sister, lay at my parents' feet, and loved all
of us dearly. At dinner from a safe distance, you would steal a glance at us eating
. One look from Dad and your eyes would quickly avert. You were so
obedient. In two houses, we never had a fence and you never left the yard.
During the day, you drove Mom bonkers wanting in, then out, then in, then out.
It was a terrible day when
you were approximately four years old and my parents told me that you had to go. We
were moving into a condominium and no dogs were allowed. I remember sitting in the
driveway away from the house, talking to you and telling you the terrible news. I
felt so angry and devastated. How could I go on without my buddy?
You were given to a good
friend, but were never the same with her. You were used to our quiet family and her
family was loud and boisterous. She kept you in a bedroom most of the day because
you seemed traumatized and scared. I came to visit you sometimes and we would spend
long hours in your new owner's yard rolling in the grass together or just quietly
"hugging". Once I came to visit and you were the only one home. I
remember hearing you desperately whining on the other side of the door trying to reach
me. I missed you so.
Two years later, I met and
married a man. He was and is a good man. That Christmas, I found you
scampering around the Christmas tree with a big red bow around your neck. With a
little gift giving to your new owner, my husband had gotten you back. She said that
you had always been mine anyway. This was the most wonderful gift that I have ever
received.
For four more years, you
slept in your basket beside our bed. You welcomed many other dogs into our home and
again napped with me on the floor. When Cowboy strayed up our drive, I think you
may have been a bit "bent out of shape". He was a young, handsome dog and
very dominant. I admit that I took you for granted while I adored my new
"dream"German Shepherd. Little did I know that our days together were
numbered.
Three months after Cowboy
arrived, you broke your house training. Water became ever more attractive to
you. Your thirst was unquenchable. At the vet's, they performed a blood and
urine test. There was a problem with your liver, but the vet could not feel
anything. We switched your diet and put you on medicine. You would barely
touch the new food, and by a few weeks later you were thin and vomiting. I remember
waking up and seeing you one morning. You were depressed and sick. The
youthful, senior dog that had been still racing in circles like a Greyhound and fetching
balls months ago was gone. I crouched beside you and you weakly extended your paw in
a forlorn paw shake. We took you to the vet that morning for further diagnosis, but
I had a sinking feeling in my heart. You layed in my arms in the car and at the
vet's. You NEVER liked to be held, but you did that day. The vet tech came
into the room and you barely could lift your head as you tried to see who she was.
Pulling at your skin, she said that you were severely dehydrated and we all noticed the
odd smell that you carried. The doctor palpitated your abdomen and located a tennis
ball sized growth. In all honesty, he offered to do exploratory surgery, but in your
weakened status he had little hope. I knew in my heart that it was the end.
The vet knew in his heart that it was, too.
You layed quietly on that
stainless steel table. This was something that you would never have done
previously. I put my face to yours and told you what a wonderful dog you had been
and how much that I loved you. You looked into my eyes. I think you knew what
was going to happen. Tears are running down my face as I write this eight years
later. My dear, dear Alaska. I miss you so. I couldn't watch your final
breath. I stumbled out of the vet office, blinded by tears. Please forgive me
for not being brave enough to see you through to the Bridge. I wanted to remember
your moments looking for cats or sleeping in the afternoon sunlight with me....not your
final moments.
I have never mourned for
anything as much as I mourned for you. I knew of no pet loss support then. My
husband, family and my other dogs were my only support as I cried for days. I packed
up your collar and scooped some of your shedded, white hair off your bed to save. I
locked you away in my heart and you visited me in dreams. In these past few years,
you have not visited me in my dreams. I can only hope that this is because you felt
that it was okay for you to go on to the Rainbow Bridge and wait for me. I believe
that God gave me your rival, Cowboy, to help me get over the loss of you.
I can picture you at the
Bridge, barking that enthusiastic Sheltie-like bark....running as fast as a
Whippet....bounding after invisible cats....obediently, patiently, never wandering,
waiting for me to reunite with you.
--Cassandra
***
If it should be that I
grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep
Then you must do what must be done
For this, the last battle, can't be won.
You will be sad - I understand
Don't let your grief then stay your hand
For this day, more than all the rest
Your love and friendship stand the test.
We've had so many happy years
What is to come can hold no fears
You'd not want me to suffer, so
When the time comes, please let me go.
I know in time you too will see
It is a kindness you do to me
Although my tail its last has waved
From pain and suffering I've been saved.
Don't grieve that it should be you
Who has to decide this thing to do
We've been so close, we two these years
Don't let your heart hold any tears.
*Author Unknown*
***
"Rainbow
Bridge"
Just this side of Heaven is a place
called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here,
that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special
friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine and
our
friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were
hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of
days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing:
they each miss someone very
special, someone who was left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into
the distance. His bright eyes are intent; his eager body begins to quiver. Suddenly, he
breaks from the group, flying over the green grass, faster and faster. You have been
spotted, and when you and your special
friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The
happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look
once more into those trusting eyes, so long gone from your life, but never absent from
your heart.
Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together...
*Author Unknown*
***
My best friend is resting
in my arms
I can feel his coat touching my skin
It used to be warm, but now it is cold
I chose this, did I choose wrong?
I remember the great times we had together
The way you used to look at me
How you licked away my tears when I was sad
I remember your footsteps and the sound of your tail
The noise you made when you drank or ate
Everything is quiet now
I cannot talk to you anymore
I wish I had said everything I wanted before you left
But I can think of a hundred words more
One more hug would mean the world to me
Or to feel your gentle paw in my hand
But it is all over now
I just wish we could meet again
And that my wish someday will come true
Until then, sleep well my friend
I will always miss you
by Jenny Bergdahl
***
The picture in the left
border is a painting that I saw once. It struck me so. It reminds me so much
of my dear Alaska and the way that he would lean on me and lay his head on my shoulder.
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