|
QUOTES!!
Click on the pic to read their wise words!!
"It's hard to get angry with someone that misses you when you're asleep" "Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves" "If you can't win by reason, go for volume" "Fifth period-"Studies in Contemporary State Sponsored Terrorism." ....also known as gym class" A secret: "I think the principal is a space alien spy. He's trying to corrupt our young innocent minds so we'll be unable to resist when his people invade Earth!" "First I wanted to collect bugs. Then I wanted to collect stamps. I decided on stamped bugs..." "CHICKEN pox?! Mom, what IS this guy? A veretinarian?" "Nothing spoils fun like finding out it builds character" "You can bet when I'm a geezer like Dad, I'll be going like a maniac" "I don't need to do a better job. I need better P.R. on the job I DO" "I think football is a sport the way ducks think hunting is a sport" "Moms and reason are like oil and water" "Pysical education is what you learn from having your face in someone's armpit right before lunch" "Don't you hate it when your boogers freeze?" "Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said "I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze 'em!"?" "Be careful, or be roadkill" "What's the difference between a garden slug and a two-inch-long living booger?...I can't think of a difference either" "Girls are like slugs. They serve some purpose, I just don't know what" "Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around" "I've never liked crayons very much.They just don't have any flavour at all" "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want..." "Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elswhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us..." If you want to see some Great Cartoons of them click on the snowman below!!
Thanks goes to Lydia for helping me browse through piles of Calvin & Hobbes comics...
About being in a book: " People say 'It's only Eeyore so it doens't count.' They'll probably skip over the parts about me. But that's all right. I'm still in it"
"I've always found that a good place to begin is at the beginning, because otherwise things can get very confuzzled. If you begin at the end, it's not very interesting, because you already know how things ended before you began, and if you begin at the middle, you can't go both ways at the same time" "No one can be uncheered by a balloon" "You never know what's going to upset a cloud. They're very sensitive" "Oh, bother!"
"Please don't chase the clouds, pagoda.." "A child is like a flower, man. It's head is just floating in the breeze" "Who are our friends? Are they solemn and slow? Do they have great desires, or are they one of the multitude that walks, doubting their impossible regrets?" "Death makes angels of us all and gives us wings where we had shoulders , smooth as raven's claws" "I'll always be a word man, better than a birdman" "My friend drove an hour, each day from the mountains. The bus gives you a hard-on with books in your lap" "No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn" "I can't remember being born......I must've had a blackout or something" "Death only happens to you once......I don't want to miss it" "I think the highest and the lowest points are the important ones. Anything else is just....in between" "I'm interested in anything about revolt, disorder, chaos, especially any activity that seems to have no meaning"
" Q: How do they know the load limits on bridges, Dad? A: They drive bigger and bigger trucks over the bridge until it breaks. Then they weight the last truck and rebuild the bridge" " Q: How do people make babies, Dad? A: Most people just go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions. But you were a blue light special at K Mart. Almost as good and a lot cheaper" " Q: Dad, how come old photographs are always black and white? Didn't they have color film back then? A: Sure they did. In fact, those photographs are in color. It's just that the world was black and white then. The world didn't turn color until sometime in the 1930's, and it was pretty grainy color for a while, too. Q: But then why are old paintings in color?! If the world was black and white, wouldn't artists have painted it that way? A: Not necessarily. A lot of great artists were insane. Q: But..but how could they have painted color anyway? Wouldn't their paints have been shades of grey back then? A: Of course, but they turned colors like everything else did in the '30s Q: So why didn't old black and white photos turn color too? A: Because they were color pictures of black and white, remember?" "Q: Dad, will you explain the theory of relativity to me? I don't understand why time goes slower at great speed A: It's because you keep changing time zones. See, if you fly to California, you gain three hours on a five-hour flight right? So, if you go at the speed of light, you gain more time, because it doesn't take as long to get there. Of course the theory of relativity only works when you're going West" "Q: Dad, why does the sun set? A: It's because hot air rises. The sun's hot in the middle of the day, so it rises high in the sky. In the evening it cools down and sets. Q: Why does it go from East to West? A: Solar wind"
Fellow Forest-Dwellers "I like work; it fascinates me; I can sit and look at it for hours..." "When in charge, ponder; when in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate" The following ones are all by NotaDeadRockStar "On the first day there was nothing, so God created light. On the second day there was still nothing, but at least you could see it!" "A day without the sun is like.....a night" "I went to the store yesterday to buy some condoms......when I asked the cashier where the fitting room was at she got pissed......sheesh..." "I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time"..... so I ordered French Toast from the Renaissance...." "A freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother" "A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn..." "Writing about music is like dancing about architecture" "The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
If you know of any more great quotes, please let me know! Email me!
Hosted by GeoCities |
