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Is it true that nursing babies are often night owls?
Some studies have shown that breastfed babies do wake more frequently than their formula-fed counterparts. One reason babies wake at night is to be fed. Babies consume up to one-third of their calories at nighttime feeds. A newborn's stomach is very small -- about the size of his closed fist -- and cannot hold a large volume of milk. Because breast milk promotes rapid digestion babies do need to be fed more frequently. Frequent feeds may have other important benefits, such as decreasing the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) and controlling maternal fertility, giving her body a chance to rest and heal before the next pregnancy.
(http://www.parentsplace.com)

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Sink or Swim?
"Don't pick up the baby every time it cries, you'll spoil it." "Babies need love, they can't be spoiled." "Babies need you to bond with them." "Babies have no clue who you are – the mom yes, dads no."

As if having your first baby wasn't hard enough, parents often have to try to sort out reams of advice. Chris Clary from Portland, Ore., welcomes advice, but admits that he has become skilled at weighing it carefully. "I learned that people truly mean well when giving advice," says Clary, father of 8-month-old twins. "It is up to my wife and me to choose whether or not to use the advice."

Like most new fathers, Clary has learned just how forceful people can be about the best way to raise a child. "When it comes to children, people are very forthcoming and passionate about their advice, and I don't think that is going to change any time soon," he says.

Finding Your Voice
Dr. Neil Talkoff, a psychoanalyst on faculty at the San Francisco Psychoanalytic Institute, San Francisco, Calif., believes that part of the problem stems from new fathers being overwhelmed with their new role. It is difficult to filter through all the well-meant advice being received when they have yet to find their voice as fathers. "Sometimes, new parents find themselves inundated with advice from their own parents or other relatives, well-meaning friends and so forth," says Dr. Talkoff.

While Dr. Talkoff believes that advice is often welcome, there are times when too much advice becomes overwhelming and is no longer helpful. It can almost have the opposite effect of what was intended. "Advice crosses the line from helpfulness to intrusiveness when the giver is not sensitive to how it is received, regardless of good intentions," he says.

Changing Roles
Susan Newman, social psychologist and author of Nobody's Baby Now: Reinventing Your Adult Relationship With Your Mother and Father (Walker & Co., 2003), believes that much of the problems with receiving advice from parents comes more from our changing relationship with them than anything else. "We spend our lives following our parents' instructions; one of the most difficult transitions is that of becoming a true adult and realizing we don't have to do what our parents say, when they say it," says Newman. "Having a baby is an opportunity to change how you relate to your parents and move the relationship in a positive direction."

Newman feels that this sort of advice is intrusive and annoying to most people when it is given too often, becomes repetitive and goes against what a new parent had in mind or how he planned to handle the baby or approach a problem. "Although this type of advice can come from friends, the irksome advice usually comes from a parent who belabors their point," she says.

"If you haven't done so before the new baby, now is a good time to recreate your relationship with your parent(s) – time to set boundaries if you find a parent invading and trying to take over too much care of your child or telling you how to do every little thing," says Newman.

Newman gives the following tips to help the new father deal with unwanted advice:

Being honest and straightforward is the simplest and most successful approach; people are frequently unaware of their behavior.
Dad has the option to be polite, thank the advice giver and then ignore what he is being told.

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When should I start solids?

Answer
We La Leche League Leaders often hear this question from mothers as their baby approaches the four month mark. Their friends have told them, "When you bring the baby in for his four month checkup, the doctor is going to suggest starting solids." If you look for the signs of readiness for solids listed below, you can tell your doctor you are waiting for the baby to tell you he is ready, not going by what the date on the calendar is. Just as we say, for breastfeeding in the early months, "watch the baby, not the clock," so do we also recommend, at this stage, "watch the baby, not the calendar." Solid foods are not recommended for infants until sometime around the middle of the first year. Prior to that time, an infant's digestive system is not mature enough to digest foods other than human milk adequately.

The American Academy of Pediatrics says, "babies don't need other foods in their diet until somewhere in the middle of the first year of life." This statement is very useful, because it doesn't say your baby needs other food at some specific age. You can let your baby be your guide. And babies will tell you when they are ready for solids, somewhere between 6 and 12 months.

Watch for these signs:

increased nursing that continues for more than a few days and is unrelated to illness or teething;
increased interest in table food while others are eating;
the ability to sit up; absence of the tongue-thrusting reflex so that baby does not push solids out of his mouth;
and an ability to pick up food and put it in his mouth.
Usually there is one meal a day when the family is together and the baby is on someone's lap, in an infant seat or in a high chair. And when you take a bite of food, the baby's eyes follow your fork from the time it leaves your plate until it's in your mouth with a look of, "how could you eat that without giving me some." Or if the baby is on someone's lap, he reaches for food on your plate, puts it in his mouth, and quickly does it again. There is a time around three or four months when a baby gets really good at grabbing things (like the food off your plate or toys off the floor), but after it goes into the baby's mouth, he really isn't interested in eating it.

Another thing you may want to take notice of, is that your baby may think he/she is ready for solids, may be grabbing food off your plate, and enjoying the new taste. But later in the day, the baby may have an upset tummy, become constipated, or you may see the food come out in the diaper, in the same form as when it went in, completely undigested. Your milk is remains the perfect nutritious food for your baby, until his system is ready for table foods. If you've started solids, you can stop, and try again a few weeks later. Also keep in mind that four months is the bare minimum age at which your baby might be ready for a taste of solid food. It's much more common for a baby to be ready for solids later in his first year. If you are a first time mother, you may be eager to try it. Your own mother and friends may also be excited to help, or discuss it with you. You may be looking forward to meeting this new stage in your baby's life.

Some babies don't lose the tongue thrust instinct until much later, they may have a strong gag reflex, or they may have allergies, and refuse food instinctively. There's a chance your baby won't be ready for solids until eight or ten months, or even later. Rest assured that your milk is still meeting all your baby's nutritional needs at this time. Look at your baby. Is he well filled out, alert, active, healthy, growing? Congratulations! Your own breastmilk and good care is responsible for that.

When your baby does start other foods, remember to breastfeed first and then offer solids. Also, a baby doesn't need large quantities, just a teaspoon or so to start. Other foods still aren't as good for your baby as human milk during the first year, so you're just trying to get baby used to other tastes and textures. Mashed banana is an easy food to start with, and babies almost always like it. Protein foods come early in the rotation-- mashed tender cuts of meat, etc. Eggs should wait a little while.

When you start feeding your baby solids, introduce only one new food at a time, and wait a week before trying each new food. This way you can watch for any signs of allergic reaction (such as rashes, hives, wheezing, or diarrhea). If you have a family history of allergies, you need to be especially cautious. Foods that are commonly allergenic include cow's milk, eggs (especially the whites), citrus fruits, peanuts, wheat, and corn.

La Leche League's philosophy about nutrition applies to babies starting solids as well as to the rest of the family: "Good nutrition means eating a well-balanced and varied diet of foods in as close to their natural state as possible." It's not necessary to buy jars of commercial baby food. You can prepare your own baby food with a blender, food processor, food mill, or often just a fork. If you do buy baby food, read the labels carefully and avoid foods with added sweeteners.

Television commercials will have you believe your baby needs solids for the iron supplement. Your milk has iron in it, and while in small quantities, it's very easily absorbed. Some doctors may want to check your baby's blood for anemia at about nine months. This can put your mind to rest. Breastfed babies rarely become anemic. If you wait until later in the first year to start solids, you can avoid the expense of commercially prepared baby food, or the effort of pureeing your own table food. An older baby, with a couple of teeth, can handle some food from your straight from your table, simply mash it with your fork, if necessary, add a little water. Avoid dairy, citrus fruits, honey, and eggs until he is about one year of age. Also avoid sugar and salt. Introduce one new food at a time, to be safe. Wait a few days to see how your baby handles it.
(http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/solids.html)

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Starting solids...
Parents of the previous generation have a wealth of experience to offer us. They have been through this stage of life before, and have seen many things that worked and many that didn't. Their input is valuable and worth considering carefully. Still, their input is typically from one or two generations of history. Since the time they were raising their children, many new facts have come to light. Listening carefully to the wisdom and insights of the previous generation and weighing them against the latest findings of science will often lead you to the best course of action.

Throughout most of human history and in most cultures, children were exclusively breast fed at least for the first year of life and often even longer than that. During the previous generation or two, when bottle feeding became very popular, solid foods were introduced at quite an early age. When babies were as young as a few weeks old, processed rice cereal was put into the bottle with formula. Most children were able to tolerate this rather well. A number of children did not tolerate this well, because their sucking and swallowing actions were not yet fully co-ordinated. As a result, many infants aspirated the rice cereal into their lungs which led to pulmonary problems.

Drawing on the wisdom of many, many generations, experience, and the latest scientific knowledge, The Academy of Pediatrics recommends that solid foods be introduced, generally no earlier than four months of age. If a child weighs at least thirteen pounds and has good head control, solid foods can be started as early as three months. Four months old isn't the magical date to start solid foods, it is fine to start later than that, or as I mentioned, in some cases as early as three months. At about this age the caloric needs of a baby increase. At this age most babies need 24 to 32 ounces of breast milk (which is impossible to measure, but babies do an excellent job getting just the right amount) or formula, plus as much solid food as they want. The best way to tell the right timing to start solid food is when your son seems to be asking for it. He is not likely to say, "Mom can I please have solid foods?" It is more likely that when you are eating he will look at you as if to say, "How come you aren't giving me some of what you are having?" This communication will likely be in the form of fussiness when you are eating. This is a good time to begin solid foods, or you can begin anytime you want using the guidelines stated above.

The Academy of Pediatrics recommends starting with rice cereal. We do not recommend putting it in a bottle, but feeding it to a baby from a spoon. Rice cereal can be purchased in jars, as a dry mix, or you can prepare your own by cooking rice without salt or seasoning and pureeing it in a food processor or blender. If you choose the dry mix, the rice cereal box will have directions for mixing it in the correct proportions with either breast milk or formula for baby's first meal -- which is very diluted. As the child gets older, the cereal can be mixed into a thicker consistency.

With the rice cereal mixed, place your son in a propped up position, and move the spoon towards his mouth. The first few days he will tend to push the cereal right back out with his tongue. This is because babies have a thrust reflex causing their tongue to thrust back out anything that is put in their mouths. Take plenty of videos of this very cute stage because it passes, oh so quickly. Within several days your son will begin to get the idea of closing his lips around the spoon and swallowing. Once he does, you can begin to monitor the amount of food he needs. In order to determine this, (which is not a pre-determined amount, but varies from child to child) keep moving the spoon towards his mouth and look for signs that he is losing interest. If he turns his head away, clamps his lips shut, or appears bored, it is time to stop. Otherwise, keep moving the spoon to his mouth as long as he keeps opening it and looking happy.

It is interesting to note that children who begin solid foods with rice cereal in their bottles don't learn the instinct of stopping when they are full. This is because deceptively large amounts of calories come in without much increase in volume. As a result, kids that are fed rice cereal in a bottle tend to have excessive weight gain, both as infants and later in life. Other than that, children are very good at regulating their own intake. By starting with a spoon, resting between bites, and stopping when your child is full, you will be laying an excellent foundation for good eating habits throughout his life.

After your son has done well with rice cereal, you can begin feeding him oatmeal and barley. Other solids can be introduced once he has been eating cereal for a week or two and is tolerating it well (as long as he is at least four months old). Strained vegetables are the next foods to be introduced --mostly peas, green beans, squash, sweet potatoes, potatoes, and carrots. Give your son only one new food at a time. Be sure to wait three to five days before starting another one to determine if he has any reaction to a food, such as a rash, stomach pain, vomiting, or diarrhea. If you are going to home prepare vegetables for your son, you do not want to prepare carrots, beets, turnips, or collard greens. In many places these vegetables contain large amounts of nitrates, which can cause anemia in infants. The vegetables used in prepared baby foods do not contain these nitrates.

Children between four and six months of age should be fed solid foods once or twice a day. The ideal timing for one of the feedings is thirty to sixty minutes before bedtime. This will produce the maximum drowsiness for an excellent nights sleep. Starting rice cereal before three months of age has never been shown, in any carefully designed study, to reduce crying or to lengthen sleeping. Starting solids before three months of age can also result in problems with food allergies.
( http://www.drgreene.org)

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