Moments Like This, Part IV
By: Lori (SixteenOzs)

DISCLAIMER: "ER," the characters, and situations depicted within are the property of Warner Brothers Television, Amblin Entertainment, Constant c Productions, NBC, etc. They are borrowed without permission, but without the intent of infringement. The story presented here is written solely for entertainment purposes and the author is not making a profit.

"The Dance" was recorded by Garth Brooks on the CD "Garth Brooks." It was written by Tony Arata. The song is the property of the respective writers, performers, music companies, etc. It is borrowed without permission, but without the intent of infringement.

Please do not post or redistribute without the disclaimers above, or without the consent of the author.

Feedback is always welcome. I'd love to know what you think. Please send any questions, comments, or criticisms to SixteenOzs02@yahoo.com

SUMMARY: Follows Moments Like This, Part III

Stories in this series

1. Long Way Back
2. Working Together
3. Moments Like This

PART IV

Mark was preparing dinner when Susan woke up later that evening. He saw her walk into the kitchen and asked, "Feeling better?"

"A little," she nodded as she walked closer to him. "What are you fixing?"

"Spaghetti. Is that okay?"

"Sure," she nodded, absently watching him stir the sauce.

He glanced at her curiously before asking, "Everything okay?"

"Yes. Everything is fine," she said sharply. As soon as she said it, she regretted it. She closed her eyes and sighed. "I'm sorry, Mark. I didn't mean to snap at you. I guess this is getting to me a little more than I'd like to admit," she said apologetically.

"That's okay," he said with a smile, "don't worry about it."

She smiled back. A few minutes passed, then she started washing the dishes in the sink.

"You don't need to do that, I'll take care of everything. Why don't you go in the living room and rest?" he suggested.

"Rest?" she questioned as she turned and glared at him. "I just slept for nearly three hours. How much 'rest' do you think I need? Mark, I'm not dead, yet. I think I can handle a few dishes."

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

They worked in a strained silence. He knew it was just the stress of the situation. And he hated not being able to do anything about it.

"Damn it!" she exclaimed as the plate she was putting in the cabinet slipped from her hand and crashed to the floor.

"Are you okay?" he asked quickly.

She nodded as she bent down to pick up the broken pieces.

"No, wait, let me get the broom," he said, but the words had no sooner left his mouth than he saw her cut her hand on a jagged piece.

"Ow!" she cried. She fell back against the cabinets and just started crying in defeat.

He grabbed a towel from the counter and sat down next to her. After making sure the cut to her hand wasn't serious, he wrapped her in his arms and held her as she cried. She cried for several minutes, until there were no tears left to cry.

She pulled away slightly, so she could look at him. She was moved by the concern she saw in his eyes. With a weak smile, she said, "I guess this proves I'm not as 'fine' as I thought I was."

He laughed with her before he said, "I think that's a pretty safe assumption. I've got an idea. Do you want to get out of here?"

"What?" she asked in confusion.

"Do you want to go out, do something?"

"Why?"

"Does a guy need an excuse to take his girlfriend out? Maybe I'm just being spontaneous," he grinned.

"Mark Greene, spontaneous?" she questioned. She pretended to consider this for a moment before she said, "No, that'll never happen."

"Funny. Very funny," he said as he stood up and cut the stove off. He picked up his keys from the counter and dropped them in his pocket. He extended his hand to help her up, grinned then said, "I'm going out. Are you coming?"

She stared at him for a second before a smile spread across her face. She took his hand and stood up. "Okay, just let me find my shoes."

"You find your shoes, and I'm going to clean up this plate and find a bandage for your hand."

"That would probably be a good idea," she laughed as she went into the bedroom.

She came out a few minutes later. They stood at the sink as he cleaned and bandaged her hand.

"You're lucky this wasn't serious," he commented, "otherwise I'd have ended up doing sutures in the ER."

"And we wouldn't have wanted that, now would we, Dr. Greene?" she said with a hint of sarcasm, softened by a smile.

He just laughed and shook his head. "Are you ready?"

She nodded.

"Okay. Let's go."

As they were walking out of the building, she asked, "So, where are we going?"

"You'll see," he said with a grin.

"You're not going to tell me?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"It's a surprise."

"I hate surprises."

"You'll like this one. I promise," he said as he unlocked the car door for her.

"Mark, I hate surprises," she repeated as she got in the car. She waited as he walked around to the driver's side and got in. He didn't say anything, so she asked again, "You're not going to tell me?"

"No," he said as he started the engine.

She folded her arms across her chest and stared out the window.

He glanced at her as he pulled out of the parking lot. "Has anyone ever told you that you're awfully cute when you're pouting?"

"I am not pouting," she said defensively.

"Yes, you are," he said with a smile.

"No, I'm not," she said, smiling back in spite of herself.

They rode for a while before he said, "Okay, close your eyes."

"What?"

"Close your eyes."

"Mark -"

"Please," he said, looking at her with those incredible brown eyes.

"Oh, all right," she relented and closed her eyes.

He continued to drive and a few minutes later he asked, "Are your eyes still closed?"

"Yes. Are we there yet?"

"Almost," he said as he pulled into a parking space and shut off the engine. He got out and walked around to open her door. "Give me your hand, but keep your eyes closed."

She did as he asked, and he helped her out of the car. He stood behind her, wrapped his arm around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder. "Okay," he whispered in her ear, "what do you think?"

She opened her eyes and a smile immediately lit up her face. "I think it's perfect," she said, turning slightly in his arm so she could kiss him. "I haven't been here since last summer, when we rescued each other from those horrible blind dates."

"And ended up in the photo booth," he finished for her.

"Come on," she said, lacing her fingers with his, "let's go."

Two hours later, they were riding the Ferris wheel when Susan said, "Thanks again for the bear."

"You're welcome," he smiled as he picked up the brown teddy bear that sat between them. He won it for her earlier by knocking a pyramid of milk bottles down with a baseball. "Have you decided on a name yet?"

She took the bear from him and studied its face. "I don't know. What do you think he looks like?"

"I'm not sure," Mark shrugged. "We'll think of something."

"If we're this bad with a teddy bear, can you imagine what we'd be like trying to name a kid?" she joked.

He just laughed and shook his head as he looked out at the skyline.

She had to admit, she was taken by surprise by her own comment. They'd never talked about having kids. She hadn't been back that long. They'd never even made love. But somewhere, maybe even subconsciously, she'd assumed that they'd have a future together. A future that included marriage and a house with a big back yard where their little boy and girl could play. She sighed heavily as she was now forced to question whether or not that would ever become a reality.

"Penny for your thoughts," he said, noticing that she was awfully quiet.

"They're worth more than that," she teased.

"You know I'd pay anything," he said seriously.

"How about a shoulder?" she asked with a slight smile.

"I think I've got one of those that you could use," he said, moving his arm so she could slide closer. She rested her head on his shoulder, and he asked, "So, what are you thinking about?"

"Not much, really. I was just thinking about how great tonight has been. For the past few hours, I was able to forget about everything else and just have fun. I wish it didn't have to end," she admitted softly.

He gently stroked her hair. They both knew that the night had to come to an end, and that they had no control over what news they would get tomorrow.

They stayed like that until the ride ended. As they got off, she asked, "So, what do you want to do now?"

He thought for a moment before he smiled and said, "I've got an idea. Follow me."

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"It's a surprise."

This time, she didn't protest. She just smiled and took his hand.

As they approached the photo booth, he turned to her and grinned, "So, do you have any quarters?"

As they were walking back to the car, Susan said, "You know what I keep thinking about?"

"What?" he asked, glancing in her direction.

"I remember when I was little, I always wanted to stay up as long as I could the night before school started. I guess it was because I knew that if I went to bed, the summer would be over when I woke up," she said, smiling self-consciously.

He understood what she meant immediately. A lot could change when they woke up tomorrow. Smiling at her, he said, "Who said anything about going to bed?"

She looked somewhat confused. "Aren't we going back to the apartment?"

"Only if you REALLY want to," he replied as he opened the passenger door for her.

"Well, not REALLY," she smiled as she got in the car. "So, where to next?"

He walked around and got in on the driver's side before replying. "You'll see."

She turned to him and grinned, "You know, you should be spontaneous more often."

"I'll remember that."

Fifteen minutes later, he parked the car and she asked, "We're not too far from the hospital, are we?"

"No," he said as he got out. "We're only a few blocks away."

He led her to a small coffee house and bistro. Inside, she looked around and remarked, "Wow, this place is great. I can't believe I never knew it was here."

"Yeah, I found it after work one day last winter," he explained as they sat down.

She looked over the menu and smiled, "You know, caffeine is the last thing either one of us needs right now."

"I know," he said with a laugh. "There's always decaf."

"I thought you always said there wasn't a point to decaf," she commented.

"There isn't," he grinned, "but occasionally it is useful."

After debating for a few moments, they both finally decided on what they wanted for dinner. After the waitress had taken their orders, he asked, "Do you want to know how I found this place?"

She nodded.

"I guess it was about a week after you left. I'd finished my shift at the hospital, but I didn't want to go home. As crazy as it sounds, I still thought of it at 'your' apartment. Only you weren't there," he said with a self-conscious smile.

"Mark, I am so sorry about that," she said, once again regretting the pain she caused him when she left.

"It's okay," he said gently. "It's over now. You're back, and that's all that matters." He stopped and stared at the table as he tried to decide how much to tell her about the weeks after she left. He didn't want to upset her or make her feel guilty, but he also felt there were a few things she should know.

Finally, he looked at her and asked, "Do you remember the first time we danced?"

Remember? How could she forget? That was one of the memories that kept her going in Phoenix, and it was a large part of the reason she knew she had to come back to Chicago.

"Of course I remember," she said softly. "Last Halloween. I'd just gotten back from my vacation in Phoenix, we went to the party at the Jazz Note."

He nodded. "That was when I finally realized I was in love with you. In a way, I guess I'd known it for a while, but that was when I finally admitted it to myself. I missed you like crazy during the two weeks you were on vacation. That night, dancing with you, holding you in my arms, it just felt right. That's when I knew."

"Why didn't you say anything?" she asked in awe. While she was on vacation, she felt like she could make it on her own in Phoenix, but that was still before she seriously started to think about moving there. If only she'd know how he felt...

He took a deep breath and gave her a shaky smile. "You were my best friend. I thought you may have felt the same, but I wasn't sure. I was too afraid to take the chance of telling you how I felt, especially if it would mean losing your friendship. But after that dance, denying how I felt got a lot harder."

She didn't really know how she should respond to that, so she just stared at him as his words sank in.

"Wait here," he said softly as he stood up. "I'll be right back."

She watched curiously as he walked over to a jukebox and selected a song.

He walked back to the table and asked, "May I have this dance?"

She looked around. "No one else is dancing."

"So?"

She thought for a second, then smiled. "All right."

She stood and took his hand. She listened to the music and realized that she had heard the song before as she tried to figure out why he'd selected it.

He led her to the floor and took her in his arms before he began to explain. "Right after you left, I regretted pretty much everything that had happened between us. In a way, I guess I was even sorry I'd fallen in love with you. If that hadn't happened, then it wouldn't have hurt so much when you left."

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above,
For a moment, all the world was right
How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye?

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end, the way it all would go.
Our lives are better left to chance.
I could have missed the pain,
But I'd of had to miss the dance.

"The first night I came in here, I heard this song. It just seemed to fit. Even though it hurt like hell when you left, I realized I would always have the memories of the times we spent together, and nothing could take those away," he said, looking deeply into her eyes.

Holding you, I held everything.
For a moment, wasn't I the king?
But if I'd only known how the king would fall,
Hey, whose to say, you know
I might have changed it all.

Yes, my life is better left to chance.
I could have missed the pain,
But I'd of had to miss
The dance.

"That's what I was trying to say this morning, Susan," he explained. "Nothing in life is certain. We've both seen that more times that we'd probably like to remember. I can't say when or how this is going to end, and I know there's a chance I could get hurt. But that's a chance I'm willing to take, especially if it means I can spend moments like this with you."

As he was speaking, her cheeks became damp with tears. "I love you. Please tell me you know that."

"I do," he promised as he wiped her face. "I love you, too."

"Mark, I am sorry about this morning. I don't know what I was thinking. But at this moment, I know I need you right here," she whispered as she wrapped her arms tighter around him and rested her head on his shoulder.

They were holding hands as they walked into the apartment later that night.

"Mark, thank you for everything tonight. I really needed that," Susan said softly.

"You're welcome," he smiled as he turned to face her. Stepping closer, he slipped his arms around her waist and kissed her gently.

"I really needed that, too," she whispered.

"Want me to do it again?" he grinned.

"Yeah," she nodded, moving her arms around his neck.

The kiss ended, and she rested her head on his shoulder. "Can I stay right here forever?"

"I wouldn't mind at all," he replied, "but somehow, I think the rest of the world might have other ideas."

"You're probably right," she sighed. They were both silent for a few minutes, before she spoke. "Can I ask a favor?"

"Anything," he replied.

"Would you mind if I stole your bathroom for about an hour. I'd like to take a bath. Maybe it'll help me relax a little," she said with a smile as she looked at him.

"Sure," he nodded. "I think I'm going to head to bed soon, so just let me get in there for five minutes, then it's all yours."

"Thanks."

"No problem," he said before heading into the bedroom.

She walked over to the window, leaned against the frame and folded her arms across her chest. She was still standing there when Mark came back into the room.

"It's all yours," he said as he walked up behind her.

"Thanks," she said, looking up and offering a weak smile.

He wrapped his arms around her and softly asked, "You okay?"

"As okay as I can be right now," she replied, turning to face him.

"I'm going to bed, but if you want someone to talk to, or someone to hold you, or if you just don't be alone, or whatever; I want you to wake me up. I mean that, Susan."

"I know," she nodded. "I'll wake you up if I need you."

"Promise?"

"Promise," she said before sealing it with a kiss.

She gently caressed his cheek. "Mark, go to bed. You're still recovering from that thirty-six hour shift."

He nodded, then reminded her, "Let me know if you need me."

"I will," she assured him with a smile.

She walked into the bedroom and gathered her things. Ten minutes later, she was sinking into the hot, steamy water. Closing her eyes, she focused on her breathing and tried to relax. Placing her left arm behind her head, she moved her right hand and gently probed her breast. It was a little sore from the needle biopsy, but she could still feel the tumor.

She knew it was longer than a long shot, but she'd still hoped that she wouldn't find anything. She'd hoped it would be gone, then she could stop worrying and start living her life again.

She laughed ruefully at that thought. Living her life. Yesterday, she was laughing with Mark at the admit desk before she left the hospital, making plans for their day off. That seemed so far away now.

They'd planned to spend the day together, but their plans hadn't included a trip to an oncologist. They were going to spend the day in the park, have a picnic and she was going to teach him how to rollerblade. She smiled, knowing that would have been a challenge.

She'd even figured that she would probably be spending the night here. She'd been back a little over four weeks. A lot had changed, so they both agreed that it would be best to take things slow at first, just to protect what they shared. But it was becoming clear that they were both ready for that next step.

With the possibility that she had cancer in the background, she wasn't sure where they stood anymore. No matter what the results of the biopsy tomorrow, she would always have a scar to show for it. A scar that would remind her of what happened this week. It would also remind her that she'd had a tumor once, that there could be more and that even if this one was benign, the next one might not be.

She considered getting out of the tub, going into the bedroom, waking him up and asking him to make love to her. She didn't want to worry about what tomorrow would hold, she just wanted to feel that close to him, to know that he loved her. She believed him when he said it, but right now, she just wanted more.

She laughed softly as she realized that when he told her to wake him up if she needed anything, this probably wasn't what he had in mind. She knew he wouldn't object, especially if he thought it was what she wanted.

But was it really what she wanted?

She hated to psychoanalyze herself, but she had to wonder if she was only considering this as a way of taking her mind off the fear and worry she was currently feeling. The more she thought about it, she realized it probably wasn't a good idea. She wanted their first time to be special. Something that marked the beginning of a new stage in their relationship, the beginning of their future together. She didn't want it to be some desperate attempt to hold on to past, for fear of what the future would bring.

She knew they would make love eventually, and when that happened, she wanted it to be for the right reasons. Maybe she was being too idealistic, but she wanted it to symbolize their commitment to each other and to a future together. While that would be a part of it tonight, the fear and the uncertainty about that future would also be there. That was something she didn't want.

She stayed in the tub until the water was cold. Finally getting out, she toweled off and changed into an oversized tee shirt and a pair of boxers. Walking into the bedroom, she found him sleeping peacefully on his side of the bed. She thought of how nice it would be to have him hold her. For a moment, she considered waking him up, but finally decided against it.

She laid down, facing away from him, and tried to get comfortable. A few moments later, she felt him turn over. Wrapping his arm around her waist, he pulled her closer to him. "Feeling better?" he asked in a whisper.

She sighed and sank into his embrace. "Yeah, actually I am."

"That's good," he said sleepily.

"Goodnight, Mark," she whispered.

"'Night."

TO BE CONTINUED...

I'd love to know what you think. Please send all feedback to SixteenOzs02@yahoo.com

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