Moments Like This, Part VIII
By: Lori (SixteenOzs)

DISCLAIMER: "ER," the characters, and situations depicted within are the property of Warner Brothers Television, Amblin Entertainment, Constant c Productions, NBC, etc. They are borrowed without permission, but without the intent of infringement. The story presented here is written solely for entertainment purposes and the author is not making a profit.

Please do not post or redistribute without the disclaimer above, or without the consent of the author.

Feedback is always welcome. I'd love to know what you think. Please send any questions, comments, or criticisms to SixteenOzs02@yahoo.com

SUMMARY: Follows Moments Like This, Part VII

Stories in this series

1. Long Way Back
2. Working Together
3. Moments Like This

PART VIII

That evening, Mark pulled the car to a stop in front of Carol's house. Glancing in the rearview mirror, he adjusted his tie. He smiled as he picked up the bouquet from the passenger seat and started up the walk. Susan opened the door a few minutes later.

"Wow," he whispered. With a huge smile, he added, "You look incredible."

She was wearing a black cocktail dress with cap sleeves and a slightly flared skirt that stopped just above her knee. Her hair was pulled up into an elegant French twist. She'd spent the entire afternoon searching four different stores for the perfect dress, until she found this one. The look on his face made it all worthwhile. "Thanks," she smiled, blushing slightly.

"These are for you," he said, handing her a bouquet of twelve white roses.

She took a moment to smell the roses before she looked back to him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he smiled back.

"I've got a vase in the kitchen. Let me go put these in water," she said.

"Okay," he nodded as he followed her into the house.

After she put the roses in water, they left the house and walked towards his car. She smiled as she remembered a line from the movie they watched the night before. Ever since she first saw the movie, she'd always hoped for a reason to use that line. She couldn't think of a better time than tonight.

"Mark?"

"Yes?" he said as he stopped and turned to face her.

"In case I forget to tell you later, I had a great time tonight," she said with a huge smile.

He laughed softly. "So did I."

They held hands as they walked into the ER twenty minutes later. Carol was working at the admit desk as they approached.

"Hi, Carol," Susan said.

She turned towards them. "Hi! How are you doing?" she asked Susan carefully.

"I'm fine," she replied with huge smile. "It was benign."

"That's wonderful," Carol said as she hugged Susan. "I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks," Susan replied. "I'm sorry I didn't let you know earlier, but…"

"That's okay" Carol assured her. "Doug explained everything. I understand. Don't worry about it."

"Thanks," Susan repeated.

"I'm just glad you're okay."

"So am I," Susan nodded.

"What are you two all dressed up for?" Doug asked as he joined them at the desk.

"We've got reservations at Marcelli's. We just decided to stop by here first," Mark explained.

"Going out to celebrate?" Doug questioned cautiously.

"Yeah," Susan nodded. "It was benign."

"That's great," Doug smiled.

"Mark, Susan, I'm glad to see you," Kerry Weaver said as she walked behind the desk and updated a patient's information on the dry-erase board. "Susan, how is everything?"

"Everything's fine, Kerry," she replied. "It was benign, a fibroadenoma."

"Congratulations. So, you'll both be back on Monday?" Kerry asked.

Susan sighed and glanced wearily at Mark. "Yeah, we were both scheduled off for the weekend, but we'll be back Monday morning."

"Great. I needed to go over a few things about next week's schedule with one of you. I just need about fifteen minutes. Do you think we could do that now?" Kerry asked.

Mark glanced at his watch, they still had plenty of time before their dinner reservation. Knowing it would be best to get this over with now, and knowing that Susan really didn't want to deal with Kerry, he said, "Sure, I can go over it if you want."

Kerry nodded, "I need to check on a patient first, but do you want to meet in my office in about five minutes?"

"Sure," he replied.

"See you then," she said as she turned to walk away.

Susan stared after her for a moment, then just shook her head.

Before she could say anything, Mark smiled, "I know."

"So, where's the ring? Let's see it," Haleh said as she saw Mark and Susan.

"What ring?" Susan asked in confusion.

"You two got married, right? That's why you've been off all week. So, let's see the ring," Haleh explained.

Susan laughed, then said, "I hate to disappoint you, but we didn't get married."

Haleh looked confused. "Then where were you?"

Susan glanced anxiously at Mark. She hadn't given much thought to how they would explain their absence.

"We were handling an unexpected crisis," Mark explained.

"Everything okay?" Haleh asked out of concern.

"Yeah, everything's fine now," Mark replied.

"Well," she shrugged, "let us know when you two finally get around to setting a date."

"Sure," Susan laughed.

"If I'm going to be around to set a date, I'd better get to that meeting with Weaver," Mark joked.

"Okay," Susan nodded. "I'll just wait for you up top."

"Sure. I'll see you in a little while," he said before walking off.

Susan sat on the roof and stared out at the city. She knew she should be happy. She didn't have cancer, and she was about to go out for a wonderful evening with the single most important person in her life. But she couldn't shake the nagging doubts in the back of her mind that she was about to lose it all.

"You can't screw this up, Susan," she told herself. "You just can't."

"But what if I already have?" she asked quietly. "What was I thinking?"

She couldn't forget all of the pain she'd caused Mark recently. She knew she would never forget the look in his eyes as her train pulled out of Union Station, or the sadness and bitterness there when she came back. And now, she could add the look on his face when she tried to walk out this week to that list. The last thing she ever wanted to do was hurt him, but she seemed to have a knack for doing it anyway. "How can he still trust me? Why does he still want to be with me?"

She watched the sun fade over the city as she tried to find answers to those questions. She heard him come onto the roof some time later, but she didn't say anything as he sat down beside her.

He studied her carefully for a moment. Deciding to get right to the point, he simply asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

She glanced at him curiously, but she still didn't say anything. Finally, she asked, "Why do you stay with me?"

He stared at her, finding it hard to believe she even needed to ask such a question. "Because I love you."

"Why?" she asked with a certain sadness in her eyes. "After everything I've put you through, why do you still want to be with me?"

"What do you mean?" he asked in confusion.

"I turned your life upside down twice in six months. I almost did the same thing again this week. After all of that, why do you still want to be with me?" she repeated plaintively.

"Is this about suggesting that we stop seeing each other?" he asked cautiously. He knew they'd have to discuss it eventually.

She nodded slowly, guiltily.

"You were scared, and you were confused. I know that's not an excuse, but it explains a lot. Besides, the important thing is that you're still here. You didn't leave." He stopped. The fact that she was still with him was the most important thing, but a part of him also needed to know why she considered leaving in the first place. Hesitantly, he said, "I know you must have had a good reason, but why DID you suggest it?"

"I didn't want you to get hurt again," she said quietly. "You've been through so much recently. First, I left, then you were attacked and then I came back." She paused a moment. "I thought this was cancer. I've seen enough patients in the ER to know what it can do. I didn't want to put you through that, too."

He understood what she was saying, it was basically the same thing she told him Wednesday, but the truth was that he would go through anything, if it meant being with her. He knew she was telling the truth, that she was trying to protect him. Somehow, though, he still couldn't shake the feeling that she was also trying to protect herself. Tentatively, he asked, "Is that the only reason?"

She turned slightly and looked at him curiously. How did he know her so well? Slowly, she whispered, "No."

He didn't say anything, he just gave her time to continue.

She turned back to stare at the city. How could she tell him this? Quietly, almost inaudibly, she said, "I didn't think you'd want to stay."

"Why?" he asked, trying not to let her see how much it hurt to know that she doubted him.

She though about this. "People in my life have a tendency not to stick around when things get rough," she explained softly. "Did I ever tell you how things ended with Div?"

He thought back, then said, "Not really. You said it was over, you didn't go into any details. I just assumed you didn't want to talk about it."

"The last few weeks, I knew things weren't right. I could tell the stress from work was really starting to get to him, but whenever I asked him about it, he'd just say things were fine and tell me not to worry. One day, I paged him for a psych consult. Malik told me he'd quit. I went to his apartment that night and it was empty. He'd moved out. He left, and he never said anything to me." She stopped and closed her eyes as she felt the tears forming. She hated to admit how much that still hurt.

Drawing in a deep breath, she opened her eyes and smiled bitterly. "And then there's my family. You know Chloe was staying with me before Susie was born, right?"

He nodded and she continued, "Well, the plan was that she would stay with Mom and Dad for a while after the baby was born, until she could find a place of her own. Mom showed up here while Chloe was still in the hospital. She told me she couldn't take Chloe and the baby because she'd already raised her children. She was through, she didn't want the responsibility again."

She sighed heavily. "I never thought you 'finished' raising your children. To me, your role as a parent doesn't end until you draw your last breath. And even then, they still carry on with what you taught them," she commented.

"But what do I know?" she asked rhetorically. "I don't even have kids. Chloe thought she was done after three months. She left. She didn't even ask if I'd take care of Susie. She just assumed I would. And of course, I did."

"For a while, I considered giving Susie up for adoption," she admitted. "I went to my parent's one day, to talk to them about it. They were outraged that I'd even consider giving her to someone else, but they weren't willing to help or baby-sit. I asked how I was supposed to raise a child and finish my residency. My father just told me that I should be able to find a way, since other people have done it." Bitterly, she added, "Then again, they never took my interest in medicine seriously."

"How's that?" he asked, encouraging her to continue.

She turned to look at him and asked, "Why did you go to med school, Mark?"

He thought about this for a moment then shrugged, "I don't know. I guess I always loved the science of it. I wanted to help people. You know, the usual reasons. Besides, it was better than the Navy, which is what Dad wanted," he added with a laugh. "Why?"

"I went to spite my parents," she said sadly. "I never really thought about med school until my sophomore year in college. I took this anatomy class, and I loved it. I went home one weekend and told my parents that I was considering med school. They laughed at me. They told me I wasn't smart enough, that I should stick to something simple. I don't know why, but that didn't discourage me. In fact, it made me that much more determined to do it. I worked hard through the rest of college, got a pretty good scholarship and paid for the rest with loans. I wanted to show them that I could do it, and that I could do it on my own. I realized then that the only person I could really depend on was myself," she said as a few stray tears streaked down her face.

As he watched her, he realized that there was still so much that he didn't know about her. He knew a lot of what she'd been through, especially with Chloe and Susie, but he never really saw the big picture until now. He never realized how much she'd had to face, and how much of that she faced alone. He wanted to know all there was to know about her, and he wanted to make sure she knew she would never have to face anything by herself again.

He stood up and moved so that he was standing in front of her. He gently cupped her face in his hands and tilted it so that she was looking at him. He used his thumbs to brush the tears away. "They were wrong," he said simply. "The day we met, I realized you'd make a fantastic doctor. I knew you'd do well, no matter what specialty you went into, but I also saw that you have what it takes to be an amazing emergency physician."

He paused a moment to make sure she understood that. "I'm glad I was right, because today, there is no one I would rather work with or run a trauma with. Susan, I trust your judgment just as much as I trust my own. I've been working here eight years, and something like that is hard to find. If your parents can't see that, then it's their loss."

As she looked at him, she could see the sincerity in his eyes. "Thank you," she whispered with a weak smile.

"You're welcome," he smiled back.

There was a long pause, and neither of them really knew what to say next. She stood and stepped away from him, then walked over to the edge of the roof and folded her arms across her chest. He hesitated, but then went to stand beside her. They were both looking out over the city, but he stole a glance at her out of the corner of his eye.

Finally, she quietly commented, "But when no one ever sticks around, after a while, you stop expecting them to be there."

"Does that include me?" he asked softly. He didn't look at her, partially because he was afraid of what he might find if he did.

His question took her slightly by surprise. She turned to look at him. Sure, they'd had their fair share of disagreements, mostly related to work, and they'd probably have more in the future. But they were always able to work through those. It was like she told him a few weeks ago, they'd make a pretty boring couple if they agreed on everything.

As she watched him, she remembered all of the other things they'd been through. He convinced Morgenstern to let her do her residency part-time when she wanted to adopt Susie. He was practically the only person who didn't look at her like she was nuts for wanting to take on the responsibilities of a single mother. In fact, she still remembered the huge smile on his face when she told him she was keeping Susie. He never told her to give up, to just give Susie back to Chloe. Then, after she lost custody, she was just feeling alone and wanted to hear a friendly voice, so she called him and got his machine. She never expected it, but later that night, he came over with a pizza and a shoulder for her to cry on. And even though it was the last thing he wanted, he kept telling her how great Phoenix would be, because he thought it would make her happy.

It shouldn't have surprised her, but it did. He'd been there. A few tears streaked down her face, but she smiled. "No, it doesn't," she said softly. "Mark Greene, you defy everything I've ever taken as a given. And I'm starting to realize that's not necessarily a bad thing."

As she was speaking, he turned to face her. Again, he gently wiped the tears from her face. He smiled. "I love you, Susan. And as long as I have any say in the matter, I will ALWAYS be here if you need me. I know that may be hard for you to believe right now, but I'm not going anywhere," he assured her.

"In my heart, I already know that," she admitted. "Sometimes, I just have trouble convincing my head."

"Then I guess we'll just have to work on that," he said with an understanding smile.

"I think we already are," she replied.

"How's that?" he asked curiously.

She smiled self-consciously. "You'll laugh."

"Try me," he said as he tried to figure out where she was going with this.

"Yesterday, I finally started to believe you'd stick around, no matter how bad things got," she explained. "It was after we got back from Emily's office. I was in the bathroom, throwing up and you were right there beside me, holding my hair back. Nothing spectacular, nothing incredibly romantic, but I knew if you could handle that, you'd be there." She looked at the ground, afraid he'd think she was crazy.

He smiled, then shook his head. "I've brought you flowers, I've taken you out to dinner. I give pretty good backrubs, if I do say so myself. I even ran half-way across the city, trying to stop you from going to Phoenix. But what really made the difference was being there next to you while you were sick?" he questioned with a smile. He considered this. "Okay. I can live with that. Whatever makes you happy."

"You don't think it's crazy?" she asked with a smile as she looked up at him.

"Maybe just a little strange, but I actually think it's kind of sweet," he said as he slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him.

"It's not like the other stuff didn't mean anything," she assured him. Grinning, she added, "I love the flowers, and the backrubs are fantastic."

He kissed her gently before he said, "As for tonight, I believe I promised you a romantic dinner and a walk along the lake. Are you ready to go?"

"Lead the way," she smiled.

He watched her as they walked along the edge of the water after dinner, prompting her to ask, "What?"

"You look happy," he commented with a smile.

"I am," she smiled back. She stopped walking and turned to face him. "Thank you."

"For what?" he inquired.

"For everything. For being so great this week, for putting up with me, for being here, for just being you," she said softly. She waited a moment before adding, "There's one thing I thought about a lot this week."

"What's that?"

She turned her head towards the water for a moment. Looking back to him, she quietly said, "I wondered what I would have done if this had happened while I was in Phoenix. If it had happened a few months ago, or if I hadn't decided to move back."

"What did you come up with?" he asked.

"I'm not sure. What I do know is that I'm glad it didn't happen that way. I'm glad I didn't have to face this alone. I am so glad you were here," she said smiling slightly.

"So am I," he said as he gently caressed her face.

"I love you, Mark."

"And I love you."

She smiled. "I've said that dozens of times since I moved back, and each time, I was telling the truth. But it wasn't until this week that I really understood what that meant. I need you, Mark. And honestly, that scares the hell out of me. I don't want to face a day without you, and I don't know how I would survive if you weren't with me. All I do know is that I want, that I need, to be with you."

"I feel the same way," he said softly. "You know that, don't you?"

"I know," she nodded.

He looked up at the sky as it began to rain. "Think we should head back to the car?" he asked.

"No," she said with a grin. "Dance with me."

He looked around. "No one else is dancing."

"So?"

He thought for a second, then smiled, "Okay."

He took her in his arms, enjoying the way it felt to have her next to him. They were both quiet. No words were needed to explain the way the felt for each other. After a few minutes, it began to rain harder and they were both getting soaked.

"This is crazy," he laughed

"I know," she nodded with a smile. "Maybe we should go back to your place and get out of these wet clothes."

"Just what are you suggesting?" he asked with a grin, knowing exactly what she meant.

"I'm suggesting that we put an end to that streak I was telling you about yesterday," she said seductively. She pulled him closer for a passionate kiss, which was only a preview for what was yet to come.

Ending the kiss, she stepped out of his arms and began to walk in the direction of the car. He stared after her in shock for a moment. Turning back to him, she grinned and asked, "Are you coming?"

"Oh, yeah," he nodded as he jogged to make-up the distance between them.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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