A group of us had just finished walking beans for the day in a field southwest of my house. We got out to the road when we realized that no one brought the car. I volunteered to go back to the house and drive it up. I had to walk north to a T intersection and then turn west to get to the house. When I was driving back, I noticed that Margaret, a neighbor of ours, had her house right there on the intersection. And I don't mean at the intersection, I mean ON the intersection.

I drove very slowly through the house, so as not to break anything. When I got to the back porch, I saw a car coming. It seemed like a car anyway. At that point I realized that nobody had a car--I was just walking around thinking I was in a car, and this small family was approaching in what I understood to be a station wagon, yet I couldn't really see any sort of vehicle. I stood quiet and still waiting for them to pass, hoping they wouldn't notice me. The mother and two children, all of whom were very dirty, were followed by baby kittens and ducklings. They turned west at the intersection towards my house, and I left for the field.

Instead of going to the field, I somehow got to this large indoor place where my family was. It was a series of large hallways with huge arched ceilings with skylights. The whole place had a very goldish color scheme to it. Very bright and pretty. I saw my mom and sisters and asked them what was going on. They said that in celebration of the Final Four, the media invited all of the football players from all of the top 25 teams to come through here on parade at various times of the day. She told me that if I waited a bit, Alabama would be coming soon.

It was at this point that I noticed there was about 4 feet of water standing all throughout the place. I started swimming around and playing with various cushiony things that were floating in the water. It wasn't long, though, when I started hearing music play, and I realized the football players were coming.

They were huge. These halls were easily 50 feet high, and these football players were tall enough that their proportions made the hallway look normally sized. Maybe not that tall, but easily 30 feet tall. I couldn't believe it! Leave it to the media to present the people with a larger-than-life image of football players... At first they just casually sloshed through, as the water was really nothing more than a deep puddle to them. But as time passed, I guess these Alabamans got a little rowdy voice inside, and started picking up the cushions and throwing them at spectators.

At first I laughed, cos I thought it was kind of funny that these people who idolize the players were now getting smacked by soggy cushions from their idols. But then I got upset, pretty quickly actually, because they were throwing hard and at elders and children. So I ran out into the middle of the hall area and grabbed a cushion and flung it up at one of them. It was cool because as it hit his head, the water that was soaked up in it just sort of splashed out in all directions. It sort of made it look like his head was a water balloon that just got popped, only it was still there.

Some of the players took it in good humor, sort of like "We throw things at you, you throw things at us" or something. But the one I hit was the stereoptypical jerk football player. The big-ego crybaby type who was probably the quarterback and Homecoming King (again, I'm speaking in stereotypes, so if you have a big ego, are a crybaby, are a quarterback, or were Homecoming King, don't be offended or start crying), that's the kind I'm talking about. He got this look on his face like "You little twerp, I'll prove to you that even though I'm 5 times taller than you I can still beat you up!" and started marching towards me. He tossed a cushion and I swatted it away with one I was holding. (note: this whole scene was a major rush) I threw another cushion at him, noticing that their size made them a little slow. So even when he was staring straight at me, I could still throw a cushion at his head and hit the target before he could get his hands up to block it.

Finally he got right up in front of me and bent down to pick me up. I was standing at a T-intersection in the hall, where the football players would come walking towards me on their parade route and then turn left when they had the option of turning right. Well, at the point where the stem of the T met the arms, there was a large gate that came down from the ceiling, presumably to block off the hall after hours. When he reached down, I jumped up onto his arm. He then stood up, and as he did, I jumped up from his arm and grabbed onto the gate (which was up high enough that they wouldn't hit their heads on it, probably 35 feet), and then when he looked up at me, I dropped down, grabbing the brim of his baseball cap as I fell. He bent foreward as I fell, causing my fall to be in sort of a circular motion (since as you bend over, your head travels in an arc as opposed to a straight line, see?). This arc was sending me straight towards the gap between his legs, so I straightened up and slid right between his knees, still holding onto his cap. This motion caused him to lose his balance and do a front flip into the water.

He stayed down for a while, and the other players started to laugh. I was relieved, because I didn't think my little trick move would work on a whole team. They carried me up to this balcony that they called their treehouse. It was along the wall opposite where the stem-hall intersected the arms-hall. So basically if you walked down the stem hall and didn't turn, youd smack into the wall where the treehouse was. When we got up there, I saw Jarod and Andy, two guys from my class. They offered me a Pepsi, which to me was odd considering Pepsi usually wasn't their drink of choice. I talked to some of the players and discovered that they weren't really from Alabama--they were actually Iowans in disguise.

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