this is who i am, who i've run from all my life...
                this is what i am, as close to you as you are to me.
                we must all learn to accept ourselves, so that we 
                may begin to accept eachother.
           
      
           
                             
10~21~96 
      it's hard to look past the tears you know--sometimes.
         it's hard, when you see all that is out there for you
      to find--sometimes.  i've seen reflections of myself...
         reflections forshadowed in your eyes...
      i've been thinking, too much i suspect...of life and love
         and all inbetween...crying, yet not knowing why...
      crying because i thought about what i could be, and
         sat here...thinking, and writing, and being a passionate 
      fucking individual...being what i've seen in the eyes of
         hate, and betrayal, and my own self-loathing.  i've lost,
      from time to time, part of myself...sitting in a dark room..
         in a corner...sitting and thinking about how i'd love
      someone...how i'd feel more love for them than i would for 
         myself..and it's true, i would. it's always been true, 
      i suspect...i only want the love of my family, of the god 
         damned people i care so much about...the ones who i cry 
      for...tears of passion...tears of existance...tearing me and
         all my world has ever been apart.  walking down empty 
      pathways...casting empty shadows...wanting so much for the 
         stranger i pass to look up, to look at me...through me...
      to let myself be known...to let the love of my family be 
         known..to let my love of this life be known.  the tears 
      of a child...in pain, hurting...always hurting. Passing by
         destiny, forever running towards her fate. 

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