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and if perchance you stand at the doorway of reality and find it spinning out of control know i have seen this made that decition to terminate ... endlos ... fin to opt out i never dreamed i would stand at the abyss and plunge in ~~~ it was while laying naked strapped down mind still looking at the bottom of the last glass i emptied that i made decisions took to heart the thought i think i need to quit drinking asked myself was it worth it ~~~ my body lay broken at the bottom of the abyss yet something made it move get up and walk on i've no cause for regret ~~~ still i know that if i should fail to keep my part of the deal take that drink it is to my ruin and to my death that i am running i was vulnerable it was easy to work my mind to play games with it taunt it hurt it i had failed were my watch words and my vision still i got back up and walked got back up and grew strong walked back into life fighting my demons all the time winning and losing regularly but still i walked ~~~ is it worth it yes ... it is still worth it Spirits Thu Jan 21 09:03:46 1999