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well ... ya know ya can always spew out the contents of your mind to me ... MY MONSTER constantly seeking :) never quiet it feeds on me :) sucks the very life out of me hungry thing robs me of my will scares the fuck out of me ya need to tame it relentless nothing i do slows it it will carry me to my grave it steals my dreams woo it ... rapes my mind change its ways ... abuses it shreds it convert that energy into a positive force till all anyone sees is a mere reflection hiding a troubled soul shifting movement so like rain but hot ... decadent feeding my inner demons corrupt those demons ... with my very sweat turn them into angels i fight it for i know it pushes me tests me some days i feel no matter what i do it will never be "enough" or "alright" ejected as i am from what is my life by those who'll never understand the me behind the shades i wander aimlessly amongst a sea of ever changing faces how prosaic but behind the smile my soul churns is confused lost bit by bit strand by strand increasingly the body moves the mind sheltered behind the wall against unseen blows that know me to the floor body broken but not spirit i continue on sometimes enthralled by what i see sometimes quietyly contemplating an end to it all but my spirit that which walks with me is strong no easy outs so the double/triple life this is PAID for pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization with my sweat which feeds the demons who wholly want my blood so i go on not looking ahead so much knowling the pain/pleasure aspects to be random at best just trying to make it day after motherfucking day Spirits 101416 8/98