The glimmer of joy in the eyes of a lonely man, a man revered, feared, dreaded, detested but never really loved. A spiteful man with my number, my name and my destiny. Jesus said don't love those who love you but save your love for those who hate you. A logic born of hatred a desperate tearing of heart and brain to twist a coil of descent from an otherwise happy life.
I gave up last night on Sadie. Today, this afternoon I decided I keep faking love because I want to be in love and it keeps coming back in my face. i gave up finally once and for all on Sadie. Only hours later she rings - no craig rings her from work and she comes out - a gleam of rekindling sparks in my eyes - but no WRONG WRONG WRONG I refuse to build myself a gallows. I am happy to see you Sadie FULL STOP. (Hurting) I can only hate.
Me Sadie Craig + Scott. Tried so hard to act naturally but within minutes I was chained to a wall biting the acid spray of the styxx with my lids torn from my eyes and that goading black face of Jesus smiling before me. When you see through the mask you can see only bitterness. All I see of our breif coupling is the dirty trail of smoking ash stubbed before it's time on an old blue tray. Dropped Sadie off and listened to State of Independence at full volume and screamed along the words. I drove very recklessly half wishing to collide head on with a young and happy family. I have no motives, no faith, no face, I am no.
© 1996 I can ignore you all I want on: its_sph@nene.ac.uk