Dream - the big liner - the helter skelter thing down the side, the peculiarly dangerous drop on a bale of hay, the big drop down. I was wearing odd black glasses and was very young.
Been pottering around - unable to do anything with myself. I need Sadie. Must sort my life out or let her know how badly I need her - the latter, in fact both would be best. I should find a way to use my time when I'm alone to stop these bouts of lonliness. So much to do but I cannot get into a frame to do anything. I'm just wishing me and Sadie could just lie down and melt together into the pink evening. It's her compassion that I love her for but I was suprised by how incredibly passionate she is. I want her to want to stay with me forever. Restless - need to get settled, hurts me being apart from Sadie, can't asphyxiate her- have I any hope? Slept (or something) this evening. Lay back and tried to leave my body, felt myself withdrawing to the top of my head - but nothing more - it scares me a little. Can you learn to astral travel through practice? So hot and desperate. God I need a big hug. I want to see Sadie soon.
© 1996 I can ignore you all I want on: its_sph@nene.ac.uk