Mick Foley at Eastland Mall, Evansville IN, 4/9/99 photo by DTD
Part One:
I wasn't really sure this trip was gonna happen, but I'm grateful that it did! My little brother Auggie was telling me that the Boyardee-avore himself, Mick Foley, a.k.a. Mankind, was gonna be at Eastland Mall in Evansville on April 9. How could I say no? I left before the ass-crack of dawn (4am), stopping twice to take naps to make up for the lack of sleep I would be suffering...
My first stop in Evansville was Toys R Us, with the usual missions: 1) find any last Star Wars Legos - none were found; 2) Find a Mankind action figure or the "Three Faces of Foley" video to get autographed - neither were found; 3) call Augg and get directions to his house. While quickly browsing the selection of Hot Wheels, Matchbox etc. I found some of the WWF series cars, most of them for Triple H. Upon examination of the graphics of the card packaging I gave up hope that there would be a car of this nature bearing the image of Mankind, or even Cactus Jack. But as I was about to leave the aisle, the very object I'd imagined had been swinging just out of sight... THE MANKIND CAR!!!!! The little sucker came home with daddy.
I got to Aug's house where we listened to Black Sabbath records and, talked to his net-girlfriends on AIM. At 2 in the afternoon, we left for the mall. (The Foley function began at 4.) We met a lot of wrestling fans, discussing the past events of the Rock, Austin and the Ministry, and the possible future, and how aside from the Nitro Girls WCW isn't worth a monkey-crap anymore.
Then the moment crept up without immediate warning... Mick Foley enetered. Taking his place at the table, between two mall security guys, markers, glossy black&white 8x10's and socks, he proceeded to shake hands and sign autographs until it was our turn. "It is an honor and a pleasure to meet you in person," I told him while I shook his right hand. "What have you got to sign?" he asked. I whipped out the car, and an Overstuffed Ravioli label (at which he kinda snickered, guess I was the first to think of that!)both of which were signed and then Auggie got his sock autographed.
I wasn't content to leave with a mere grin on my face, oh no no no no no. I didn't bring the old Socko puppet all the way from Tennessee for nothing. Before I was out of contact forever, I paced back to ask one more favor of the Boiler-Room Dweller... "Mister Foley, I would like you to do one more thing for me. This Mr. Socko was born on Halloween 1998 in Columbus Ohio and on behalf of the Blotched Stogies of Knoxville Tennessee, I ask for your blessings." And there was the real deal - MR. SOCKO - on the left hand of Foley, touching the pale imitation that had been my mascot for the past six months, spreading the germs and fungus that had been in so many wrestlers mouths onto our red-eyed Socko. Now I was smiling.
And Auggie was happy that I had come to see him, and I felt proud to be a big brother, and as I drove back to Tennessee, I stopped for a couple more naps, pausing to marvel at the mementos of a brief encounter with Mankind.
(I was one hour late for work the next day.)
Part Two:
This was the first ever (so far, only) out-of-town gig for the Blotched Stogies. The program for the party included:
The Stogies are a drummerless band from Knoxville whom I had the pleasure to travel with. Their show consisted of songs like "Ice Cream Man" (written about the Clint Howard film) and the bass player's improvised rant about toys, "Linkoln Logs." Singer Don Chaotic went into Ozzy mode and read the lyrics of the Mr. Rogers tribute "Only in My Neighborhood." El Redundo interrupted him with a brief rant, stuffed a sock puppet into Don's mouth and then hit him over the head with the prized Suck Rock Championship belt! (This incident is documented on the Linkoln Logz tape.) The band then began to piss Marilyn-Manson fans off with the "Gothic Bunnies" song. Overall, this set was the Blotched Stogies hour of glory.
Next were the Metal Meisters, who used a cheap keyboard for percussion, played punk gems like "Satan is our Master" and "Weed is our Master," and went outside to smoke after just those two songs.
Gangsta rappers Da Getto Posse arrived from the streets of Hensel Woodz to perform and swig 40 oz. flasks of Mega Malt.
Then Deadly Toothpaste played a monster two hour set, during which I crawled under a table and slept. Sorry.
