"Nothing's vanity. Move ahead with science!" shouts the modern Ecclesiastes, which is to say everybody. And yet the corpses of the wicked and lazy plop down on the hearts of others. . . Ah! hurry, hurry a bit! Out there, beyond the night, those future rewards, everlasting. . . are we missing out on them?
--What can I do? I know what work is. And science is too slow. Prayer gallops along and the light rumbles. . . I see that too. It's too simple, and it's too hot. They'll do without me. I've got my job. I'll take pride in it the way others do--by laying it aside.
My life's used up. Come on! let's shirk, let's gold-brick, for pity's sake! And we'll go on enjoying ourselves, dreaming up mon- strous loves and fantastic universes, griping and criticizing the world's disguises--acrobat, beggar, artist, outlaw--priest! On my hospital bed, the smell of incense came back to me, so potent: custodian of sacred aromatics, confessor, martyr. . . .
I recognize in that the filthy education of my childhood. So what . . .! Here's my twenty years, since others put in twenty years. . .
No! no! I revolt right now against death! Work looks too lightweight to my pride: being betrayed to the world would be too brief a tor- ture. At the last minute, I'd attack right and left. . . .
Then--oh!--poor dear soul, wouldn't eternity be lost for us!
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