alone

		whilst i thought i was climbing
		i found myself descending
		having lost my way let me go up
		having lost my way let me go down
		i have no other work to do
		it would have been better
		no to be the mother
		it is sorrowful 
		when a son goes away
		let alone 
		and when he dies
		i watched quietly
		when the grave was being dug
		knowing that he won't come back
		and i shall not be here 
		for much longer
		even if i become 
		like a king or like the wind
		never 
		never will death 
		stay away
		but when he called me from above
		neither voice nor word to say yes
		we just quietly say yes to him
		it is a debt 
		which must be paid
		here is your flesh
		take it from me
		it seems to me
		that you can't destroy it
		having spent the day with pain
		am i going to spend the night with pain?
		this living to eat
		is so tiring for me
		i am feeling cold inside
		let me go on seeking fire
		even death is better
		than this useless life
		the mast of a ship 
		a nakedness
		the leader of whores
		sheds the female breast
		he tramples down
		the vast furnace
		Godlike and piercing
		binding and bitter
		and cleaving asunder
		bones bound together
		and paleness breaking
		and rending
		abiding in a place
		tending into nothingness
		dampness tending onto corruption
		corruption
		corruption
		corruption
		and merchants in trembling
		dragged down into horror
		terrible and whirling
		the dust in the palm
		sublime circumcision
		solitude and desolation
		a goatherd unto lost
		all destruction
		grinding thin powder
		withering and fading
		the reaping-hook of dullness
		earth thrown up
		all flesh turn 
		the mountains are cast out
		lions trembling with fury
		thy braking in my barrenness
		the destroyer of days
		the silent lion
		we know him fury
		the death of flesh
		he moves with a creeping motion
		they destroy by the sky flame
		of their smoky breath
		the painbringers
		they shriek with a
		long
		drawn
		cry