You have to read this story.

When I went to City Hall to renew my dog’s license, I told the clerk I. wanted a license for Sex. He said, "I’d like one too!" Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said he didn’t care what she looked like., Then I said, "You don’t under- stand. I’ve had Sex since I was 9 years old." He winked at me and said, "You must have been quite a kid." When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took my dog with me. I told the hotel clerk I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex. He said, "You don’t need a special room for Sex. As long as you pay your bill, we don’t care what you do." I said, "Look, you don’t seem to understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Funny, I have the same problem." Well, one day, I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competi- tion began, the dog got loose and ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He said, "Wonderful! If you sell tickets, you’ll clean up!" "But you don’t understand," I said. "I want to have Sex on TV." He said, "They already have that on cable. It’s no big deal any- more." Well, my wife and I decided to sep- arate, so we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said to the judge "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "The court is not a confessional. Please stick to the facts." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me, too." Well, last night Sex ran away again, and I spent hours looking all over town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o’clock in the morning?" I said "I’m looking for Sex." My case comes up on Friday.