Recently I acquired a houseboy. At first I was absolutely thrilled at the prospect of having someone to help out around the house, but now I am having doubts. My houseboy has taken to complaining about every task assigned. It's not as if I'm an ogre, he knew his duties when he began. I clearly stated that he would be expected to wash dishes and take care of whatever else I requested within reason. After all, this is a domestic position with domestic responsibilities. I am very worried that "Gator" may be using his position for gain. We generously invited him along on a day trip yesterday. While we were out and about we asked Gator to take our picture. He then became snap crazy. He refuses to show us the negatives and I fear that he may have taken pictures at other times that may not be good for the general public to view. What am I to do? I feel sorry for the guy as he is in desparate need of employment, but I worry that my whole life may end up being the subject of a book. Am I being overly paranoid? Oh, in all honesty, I suppose I should mention that Gator's "company" is very enjoyable. Should he stay or should he go,
Perplexed in the metroplex
Dear Perplexed,
I hate
to think what sort of pictures he could have possibly snapped on a day
trip that he could use against you. You may want to remove picture
taking from his list of duties right now. However, if this is the only
picture taking incident you’ve had then I don’t think you should worry
about it or let your imagination get carried away. Most likely this was
just the result of employee/employer tensions which have been building.
I sense two
things which could be at the crux of his general complaining. The first
is his title. Perhaps “houseboy” sounds too much like a lowly position
and he’s moping about it inside. What if you did this: Rename his position
to something like “Assistant Chief of Staff in charge of Domestic Tasks
and Issues.” Then summarize his job responsibilities, ie: reports directly
to Chief of Staff in charge of Domestic Tasks and Issues (you) fulfilling
all duties which the Chief of Staff assigns in an effort to run the Unit
(the household). Tasks include, cooking, shopping, mowing the lawn, cleaning
cars, etc and other general domestic jobs.
Then the
second suggestion will be the hardest part of all. You are going to have
to stop “over-supervising” him, which I suspect you are doing, and let
him handle the tasks you give him himself after an initial few instructions.
It may be hard for you to sit back while dishes are breaking and souffles
are dropping or pans are getting stacked out of order, but try to let go.
It’s a sign of trust. And you’ll find that when he gets the freedom to
perform a task the way he wants to do it without fearing your reprisals
he’ll be a happier, more self-confident employee.
PS. Buy the guy a microwave.