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NAME: Ursula
Hitler. I'm Adolf's great-grandniece... and no, I'm not a nazi. Actually,
I'm a big lefty-pinko!
BUST:Um, that depends on my mood, but usually about 42. WAIST: Corseted. HIPS: 40 or so. For special occasions I got a special hip & butt-pad thing from Frederick's. HEIGHT: Almost seven feet in heels. I'm a lot of woman! WEIGHT: I lost abut 70 pounds in 1997 to be slim and girly, and for a while I had a body sorta like P.J. Harvey. I think chubby girls are adorable, but I looked really bad fat, like a big bear in a dress. I'm proud to say I've kept the weight off (well, most of it, anyhow), but now I watch everything I eat, and if I gain two pounds I get hysterical and starve myself for days. I'm anorexic; what could be more girlish? BIRTH DATE: January 8, 197-something. BIRTHPLACE: Long Beach, CA, gangsta rap capital of the USA. Word. AMBITIONS: To be the world's greatest comix artiste... to be a sex goddess... to write the great American novel... to be America's little sweetheart... to visit another planet... to buy a decent digital camera... to have my brain transplanted into the body of a busty 17-year-old girl... to rule the world with loving grace... TURN-ONS: Sweetness and smartness. Big, soft knockers. Chubby (not fat!) girls. Being felt up, getting pinched on the butt, having my garter belt or brastrap snapped, or otherwise being treated like a sex object in public. I love to be a cruel tease, but I kinda like to be put in my place, too. Just tell me I'm pretty, and I'll swoon. Many of my fantasies are pretty sick: giant girls, pregnant girls, mermaids, etc. I kinda like boys, too. Honestly, there isn't much that doesn't turn me on. I'm real bad. TURN-OFFS: Stubble. Republicans. Uptight feminists. Diseases. Daylight. FAVORITE PERFORMERS:I'm a boob freak... I love Jennifer Connelly, Anita Eckberg, the scary diva from Army of Lovers, Russ Myer's gallery of bosomy amazons, Prince's various proteges... I could go on & on & on. As far as male performers go, I dig skinny androgynous boys, usually wearing eyeliner. I like the Cramps, Mr. Bowie, the Beatles, Pistols, Velvets, Monkees, Blur, Duran Duran (don't give me that look - they rule!), plus a lot of weird little bands you never heard of. I'm wild about the Monty Python gang, the Kids in the Hall, Fred Rogers, William Shatner, the Firesign Theatre, and the Muppets (up until poor Mr. Henson died, anyhow). I love celebrities, and plan to be one myself someday soon... but I promise that when I do, I won't forget all you little people! IDEAL MAN: I'm mostly into girls, but I sure do get hot for the fellas sometimes. My ideal man is my girlfriend K in boydrag. She makes the yummiest boy you ever saw! IDEAL EVENING: A new dress that shows off my carefully arranged curves and cleavage to perfection. Discovering a cool new club. Dancing. Finding a secluded corner and frenching for a real long time. Going home and doin' it until we pass out. THE BEST THING ABOUT SEX IS: Orgasms. Duh. Orgasms make life worth living. That moment of white-hot, mindless bliss, no worries about work or your health or what you'll be doing ten years from now... just you and your lover melting together into one big throbbing, happy puddle. Yeah, baby. Oh, and all that stuff leading up to orgasms is real nice, too. |
