Title: STARTING OVER Writer: Jayme Wilson

AS I SIT AND LOOK BACK AT MY LIFE IN THE PAST, I’M AMAZED AT HOW YEARS HAVE SLIPPED BY ME SO FAST! AS A CHILD, I REMEMBER YOUR CRYSTAL BLUE EYES; YOU WERE MY HERO; A MAN WHO WAS WISE. FORGIVE ME, MY MEMORY ISNT REAL CLEAR, BUT YOU NEVER SAID THINGS LITTLE GIRLS NEED TO HEAR! I KNOW YOU WERE BUSY PROVIDING A LIFE FOR THREE KIDS, TWO DOGS, A CAT, AND A WIFE. I CAN REMEMBER MY HIGH SCHOOL DAYS, HOW I DROVE YOU CRAZY WITH MY WILD SNEEKY WAYS! NOT A CARE IN THE WORLD, I GOT CAUGHT SKIPPING CLASS, LIVING ONLY FOR WEEKENDS AND A FULL TANK OF GAS. KIDS ARE JUST KIDS, THEY’RE SELFISH AND BLIND. “WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME” IS WHAT GOES THROUGH THEY’RE MIND. DON’T THINK I DON’T KNOW; LOOKING BACK I CAN SEE, AND I HAVE TWO KIDS NOW AND IT’S HAPPENING TO ME! ONE IS TOO BUSY, NO TIME FOR ME NOW. THE OTHER IS ANGRY AND MIXED UP SOMEHOW. I KNOW HOW HE FEELS, I’VE BEEN IN HIS SHOES. WHEN LIFE AS YOU KNOW IT, GETS LOST AND CONFUSED. YOU CHANGED MY LIFE IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE, I QUESTIONED EACH MORAL YOU TAUGHT WAS A LIE! I FIND MYSELF WONDERING, STILL TO THIS DAY; “HOW COULD HE WALK OUT ON OUR FAMILY THAT WAY??” NO EXPLANATION, NO REASON WHY, JUST “I AM NOT HAPPY”, “SEE YA”, “GOODBYE”! I CANT UNDERSTAND IT, I PROBABLY NEVER WILL, TO HAVE TO GO BACK THERE STILL GIVES ME A CHILL! I CAN’T STAND THE THOUGHT, NOT EVEN FOR ONE MINUTE, WHAT MY LIFE WOULD BE LIKE WITHOUT MY CHILDREN IN IT! I MADE MY MISTAKES, AND I PAID MY DUES, BUT I COULD NEVER WALK NOT ONE MILE IN YOUR SHOES! NOW THAT I’M GROWN, I KNOW LIFE IS ROUGH I HAVE MESSED UP, BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! HOW MANY LESSONS IN LIFE MUST I LEARN? HOW MANY POINTS ON THIS EARTH MUST I EARN? I’VE TRIED AND I’VE TRIED TO BE A GOOD WIFE, BUT ALL I END UP WITH IS SCARS ON MY LIFE! WAS IT BECAUSE OF THE CHOICES I MADE? OR WAS IT THE SCARS THAT YOU LEFT WOULDN’T FADE? I WANT YOU TO BE IN MY LIFE AS MY DAD, BUT NOT FOR THE THINGS THAT YOU HAVE OR HAVE HAD! I DO WANT MY KIDS TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE, BUT NOT IF ALL YOU HAVE TO GIVE THEM IS SCARS! ALTHOUGH THERE IS DISTANCE, SHOW LOVE IN MORE WAYS IT STARTS BY REMEMBERING THEIR SPECIAL DAYS! I HAVE TO TELL YOU, I RUN FROM THE PAIN. I LIVE WITH THE SCARS CAUSED FROM GOING INSANE! I TRIED TO END MY OWN LIFE, AS YOU KNOW. BUT SINCE THEN MY FAMILY HAS HELPED ME TO GROW! I’M NOT THE SAME GIRL YOU SAW THREE YEARS IN THE PAST, I SOUL SEARCHED AND FOUND PEACE IN MY HEART AT LAST! I’M HAPPY INSIDE AND I’VE MADE A NEW START! I HOPE IT IS SAFE TO REOPEN MY HEART! THE PAST IS THE PAST, SO LET’S LEAVE IT THERE NOW IT’S UP TO YOU TO SHOW HOW MUCH YOU CARE…DAD.

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