Monday, April 3 – Yogurt and the Productivity Bazooka


Bruce Hornsby and the Range, "Scenes From The Southside"
Dave Matthews Band, "Before These Crowded Streets"
Béla Fleck and the Flecktones, "Flight Of The Cosmic Hippo"
Tower Of Power, "Rhythm & Business"
 
 
 
 
he yogurt is hitting the fan, my friend!

I woke up this morning to one of the most annoying commercials I’ve ever heard. I’m tempted to send a nasty letter to the radio station, saying that every time they play that commercial I boycott their station for the rest of the day – it’s that bad.

This guy with an annoying voice – kind of like Rush Limbaugh on uppers – comes on and starts yammering about what I think is a career guidance service – I’m not sure because I never leave the radio on long enough. He says, "For the last hundred years, the productivity bazooka has been aimed at the blue-collar worker, but now it’s pointing at you and it’s pointing at me." Now, in my case, he’s basically gotten it right, since I’m an engineer, which is supposedly white-collar, although I haven’t worn a white collar (let alone a tie) to work in years. But how can he assume who’s listening to him? How does he know he’s not talking to a refrigerator repairman (cue "Money for Nothing" by Dire Straits…)? Or to the Senior Fry Engineer at McDonalds? (Although I can say from experience that he does have the productivity bazooka pointed at him, especially during the lunch rush….) And then he spits out the stupidest line I’ve ever heard, the one that makes him lose and credibility he may have once had….

"The yogurt is hitting the fan, my friend!"

You know, I wish the yogurt was hitting the fan. I’ve been waiting five years for the yogurt to start hitting the fan. My yogurt is just sitting there in smelly lumps, turning a putrid green and festering.