30 Fun Things To Do When Driving

1. Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.
2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to headbang.
3. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.
4. Two words: Chicken suit.
5. Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint.The more it looks like blood, the better.
6. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.
8. Stop at the green lights.
9. Go at the red ones.
11. Eat food that requires silverware.
12. Pass cars, then drive very slowly.
13. Sing without having the radio on.
14. Honk frequently without motivation.
15. Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an angry look and an obscene gesture.
16. Ask people for Gray Poupon.
17. Let pedestrians know who's boss.
18. Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look.
19. Restart your car at every stop light.
20. Keep at least five cats in the car.
21. Stop and collect roadkill.
22. Stop and pray to roadkill.
23. Throw Spam.
24. Get in the fast lane and gradually ... slow ... down ... to a stop. Then get out and watch the cars. Throw Spam at them.
25. Lob burning things in the windows of smokers who throw their butts out the window.


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