being with you

my eyes slowly shut...
my ears tune to the radio...
  my mouth whispers the words sung...

and in my eyes tears gather
  on their path down my face...
my heart is crying out again
for the love of a special someone...

and I hear the words play
  "I don't want to miss a thing"
and I think of you....

my heart lifts, yet saddens
  I love time with you,
  yet I can't be with you...
my mind races, yet is at peace
  I'm secure in how I feel for you,
  yet unsure if I can let you know...

thoughts and memories fly.
  time stacked on top of time
  seconds upon seconds...
and I think of you....

and I remember your friendship.
  how you were here for me,
  you were my safe haven
    from the nervous tendencies
    and the painful realities...
  how you wiped my tears,
    and planted seeds of joy
    and etched a smile on my face
       with the permanent marker of laughter...

and I remember your kindness.
  how you were here for me,
  you were the destruction
    of the fears and pains...
    of the depression killing me from inside...
  how you gave up time,
  gave up your precious attention
    to bear the burdens of my pain...
    to lift them from my back
      and take me to heights never attainable.

and I'm torn inside.
  I want to be with you
    more than anything...
yet I see the pennies in my pocket
  and the 0's in my account...
and my heart reaches the floor.
and my soul burnes in earnest
  frustration and desire...

- Jon Johnston


© Copyright 1998 Jonathan E. Johnston


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