The army is an interesting place, organization, thing, or whatever you want to call it. I’m glad that I was in it, even though I hated most of it. If I had it all to do over again, I would probably still join. One positive thing the army did for me was to teach me discipline, which I lacked throughout college. Had I had it in college, I probably never would have needed to join the Army in the first place.

I met a lot of people, and got to know types of people that I probably never would have met, given my life as a college-educated professional. It gave me a broader world view than that of many people of my upbringing and education (of my class, I would say, if this were Britain or some other European country).

Another good thing from the army, though kind of a secondary effect, is the fact that in all my other “civilian” jobs, I have a more positive outlook than many of my coworkers. They may criticize a particular boss, or say that the company benefits are inadequate. I always smile, and nod my head as if agreeing. But on the inside, I know there are worse jobs. Once you’ve worked for some of the incompetents that build a career out of military service, almost anyone else seems like a rather good boss. Also, no matter how bad a job gets, you can always, at least theoretically, walk away, without having to go to Leavenworth. And many other things, too numerous to mention, are better at the worst, most menial job, than as an enlisted man in the Army. I was never an officer (though some of the “incompetents” referred to above certainly were), so I can’t compare that job experience to civilian ones.

To give you a little more insight into the army way, I’ll discuss a Star Trek episode (from the original series). It was the one where the good guys (Kirk, Bones, Uhura, and one of the navigators, I think) beam over to an alternate universe. Everyone has an exact counterpart, only they’re kind of mean and barbaric. The most interesting person in the mean universe is Spock. He is the person who fit most easily into the role of a barbarian.

At the end, Spock (I think it was him) remarks on how easy it was to identify and lock up the guys from the barbarian universe, while the good guys passed themselves off as the genuine article for practically the whole episode. It is easier for civilized men to behave as barbarians, than for barbarians to act like civilized men. This is the way I can account for my success in my Army years—only my “episode” was four years long, as opposed to Star Trek’s one hour.

By success, I don’t mean I became a General, or anything. I just mean that I escaped with an Honorable Discharge, didn’t murder any of my superior officers, and didn’t lose my sanity. Actually, of course, the Honorable Discharge is the reward you get for not murdering your superiors and/or going insane. So I really have only those two accomplishments to brag about.

To end on a really ironic note, let me just say that I was in Military Intelligence. Really. No kidding.