I have secured myself financially while not exactly intending to do so, and am quite unsure what to do with myself now that I am in such a state...I have found myself on top of the next stepping stone that was once before me, but looking around in wonder...do pardon the sudden outburst but (new car woo hoo!!) I simply couldn't help it... ;-}

I have been on quite the Portishead binge lately...mmmmm...Also have fallen into religious ferver with a few new bands: Rhea's Obsession and Rogue Angel Seven to be exact...RAS also has involvement with a band called Dragon Tears Descending, which is lovely in itself and has great potential....

Speaking of religious ferver, I belive I have discovered the truth in my enjoyment of the club scene...while "tripping" the light fantastic, I realized that I was in fact lost to the music and moved without thought or planning...once given over to my surroundings I twisted and turned with pure delightful dedication of expression...mostly my eyes remained closed so as to feel the space about me and movement of air...not a body near was out of its perfect configuration, nor offensive...all was calmness, serenity, all the while I was fulfilling every emotional desire as spelled out in the dropping angle of my head or the Thai-mimic'd curl of a finger...a felt smile was my only indication of involvement in this world....Others felt this, or something, for I had friends pull me aside later to explain the solitary attention I was drawing....I had decided right there, that this is where I obtained Religion...In those movements...I was fulfilling the spiritual need of inner expression... I had also felt this on stage, but had not graced the boards in many moons, and found myself increasingly seeking out the clubs...

Since happening upon this, I have welcomed a new outlook on my nights out among the swaying crowds...chiffon flies with fuller fruition of thought, arms lilt to sudden tempo changes, and yes, long silver hair ribbons, my latest toy, sparkle and flit about with flirtatous playfullness...I have aged in thought to become a child again, enjoying the movement of my own body and the simple pleasure of music...It has only been a week, and I miss it already.. ;-}}

New friends have widened my happy circle with welcomed smiles, so here begins new shared thoughts and perspectives...and I have begun reading The Art of Happiness written by an American psychiatrist and the Dali Lama...It is an attempt to define and strategize happiness as if it were a solid attainment to work towards, in steps...I had come to the belief a year or two ago that the ultimate goal each of us truly seek in life, is Happiness, and was more than pleased to see this as the beginning statement of the Dali Lama on the back cover..I bought it immediately...While meant as an almost clinical breakdown of the causes leading to Happiness, the psychiatrist defaulted to a narrative style once realizing something so intangible cannot be so clinically defined, and that the Dali Lama was not the fabled 'man on the mountain' who unfailingly answered all questions...I do recommend this book to anyone who feels they are functioning in their existance, but who fail to break out of that strictly survivalist mode...

Well, my time has past, and I must to my life, but, as always, a pleasure to bring myself before your eyes...

Until next, my lovelies...

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