wayne "let's start the" dance - 11/07/00 18:31:51
My URL:Los Paaaaaatrioooooots

Comments:
Dolty, just goes to show ya what a girlie boy sissy man you are

Mike Elliott - 11/06/00 22:05:53

Comments:
Wayne: I'm all ready to just about give you Donald "Purple" Hayes and then I read this nasty e-mail. I may have to think about this now...

DA COMMISIONAAAAA - 11/04/00 01:19:14
My URL:LONG LIVE THE PATRIOTS

Comments:
Dolt - get a fuckin'life

DA COMMISIONAAAAA - 11/04/00 01:19:04
My URL:LONG LIVE THE PATRIOTS

Comments:
Dolt - get a fuckin'life

Mike Elliott - 11/01/00 14:23:43

Comments:
Doesn't anyone talk smack on this thing anymore???

Mike Elliott - 11/01/00 14:23:43

Comments:
Doesn't anyone talk smack on this thing anymore???

Mike Elliott - 11/01/00 14:23:40

Comments:
Doesn't anyone talk smack on this thing anymore???

Mike Elliott - 11/01/00 14:23:20

Comments:
Doesn't anyone talk smack on this thing anymore???

Wayne "we may be down but never out" Tuttle - 10/25/00 01:13:38
My URL:Los Pats

Comments:
Danny Boy - At least when I have sex it's with somebody.

Dan - 10/24/00 13:58:07

Comments:
Dearest Wayne, Sorry about your bad weekend. How did you get 30 seconds to equal 3 minutes? Love, Terry

Wayne "Bad Things" Tuttle - 10/16/00 15:40:29
My URL:friggin' Patriots

Comments:
My weekend - I find out my transmission is fried and it's gonna cost me $2000 to fix, I get smoked in both my Fantasy Football Leagues, the Patriots decide to not show up for their game...At least I had good sex with my wife...thankgod for 3 minutes of he ven!!!

MikeElliott - 10/16/00 12:33:01

Comments:
Dear Mr. Patriot: That was 4 weeks of ass whuppin' rolled into one. All those points were like lightning bolts comin'down from the sky. This is what happens when one incurs the wrath of the BOLTS!!!

Mike Elliott - 10/13/00 21:50:13

Comments:
Dear Mr. Patriot: I would like to thank you in advance for helping the Bolts on the road back to respectability. Just think, one more win after this one, and you'll be talking to me again (.500 record).

Jasonj the Impartial Announcer - 10/13/00 19:31:24

Comments:
This week each team with a winning record is matched up against a team with a losing record in a battle royale of the cream of the crop vs. the dregs. It a chance for revenge or to kick a guy while he's down. The game to watch this week is the Patriot vs. the Bolts. The Bolts have lost thier last three while the Patriot has won their last 4. The Bolts are 2-4 and the Patriot is 4-2. Nevertheless, the Bolts have scored more points per game than the Patriot, and are the only team to have ever beaten the 1st lace Weevils. We favor the Bolts by 5, because they're due.

Jason the Impartial Announcer - 10/13/00 18:35:42

Comments:
The Crack Dogs's come-from-behind victory over the Bolts came to a surprise to many, but none more so than the Crack Dogs who are stuck with a few thousand ".500 isn't that bad" T-shirts they can't sell. Ex-Patriot, on the other hand, has managed to outsc re every other team in the league the last two weeks, including the amazing rally against Dan's Green Machine last week. Three weeks ago, this would have looked like an easy win for the Crack Dogs, but now anything can happen. We sort-of-confidently-but-m stly-hopefully predict an Ex-Patriot meltdown, allowing the Crack Dogs to win by 15.

Jason the Impartial Announcer - 10/13/00 13:38:39

Comments:
Sure, Red Alert lost last week with a close game to the Weevils, but we still think they've got enough power to handle the last place Dan's Green Machine. An upset it possible, sice the DGM outscored Red Alert last game, but miracles like that only happen once a season. Red Alert by 20.

Jason the Impartial Announcer - 10/13/00 13:13:52

Comments:
And finally, we have the almost full-strength Weevils against the perennially understrength Barbarians. Expect another bodacious butt-banging with the Barbarians on the bottom. Weevils win by 30.

Jimmy - 10/13/00 02:59:11
My URL:ex-patriots

Comments:
Now that the ex-pats are out of the cellar, it is time to make a little run at this...anyone interested in making some trades. There are very few people on my roster that are untouchable and I have a lot of running backs. If anyone is interested, send tr de proposals to jimmy.caplan@omnichoice.com.

wayne (4-0 the last 4 games) Tuttle - 10/10/00 22:43:03
My URL:Los Patrioooooots

Comments:
Sorry Mike, my rule is I can't talk to you if your record is under 500. Maybe in a month a so you will get back to 500 and I will be happy to converse witcha!!!!!

MIKE ELLIOTT - 10/10/00 21:59:39

Comments:
YO PATRIOT!!! BENEDICT ARNOLD IS COMIN AT YA, BROTHER!!!! YOU ARE GOIN' DOWN, AND YOUR GOIN' DOWN HARD!!! THAT WINNING STREAK OF YOURS IS HISTORY !!! BOLTS ALL THE WAY, BABY!!!!

Mike Elliott - 10/10/00 21:51:30

Comments:
YO PATRIOT!!!!!!! BENEDICT ARNOLD IS COMIN' AT YA!!!! THAT WINNING STREAK OF YOURS IS HISTORY, BROTHER!!!! THE PATRIOT IS GOIN' DOWN, AND HE'S GOIN' DOWN HARD!

- 10/09/00 20:54:03

Comments:


Jason the Ekselent speler - 10/09/00 20:17:07

Comments:
Hay, wen yoor az kool az me, U dont nead 2 no how 2 spel!

MIKE ELLIOTT - 10/09/00 15:12:32

Comments:
Jason: Congratulations on your victory. By the way, maybe you should learn how to spell defense.

Jason the (finally) Victorious - 10/09/00 12:35:17

Comments:
Hey Mike, enjoy being at .500 today, because it won't last long. Between Chris Carter and the Tampa Bay Defence, I think I can squeeze out 3 points tonight.

Jason the Impartial Announcer - 10/06/00 00:31:52

Comments:
Yes, it's time for the GAME OF THE WEEK. The two teams that lead the league are ready to slap-fight each other until only one stands astride the league. Sadly, neither will be at full strength. Both teams will be crippled by bye weeks, nullyfying any adva tage. This one should be close, but we call the Weevils by 10.

Jason the Impartial Announcer - 10/06/00 00:26:47

Comments:
This week two normally good teams will each try to break a two-game skid. The Bolts and the Crack Dogs will go head to head, and one of them will have to win despite their best efforts. The Bolts will try to reach .500 while the Crack Dogs will be trying o avoid it. The Crack Dogs are further disadvantaged by the depletion of the few players capable of scoring points of late. The Crack Dogs will win by one, but only because hope springs eternal.

Jason the Impartial Announcer - 10/06/00 00:15:50

Comments:
The Patriot versus the Barbarians may seem like a foregone conclusion with the Barbarians on the losing end, but it's not that easy. The Patriot is missing a couple of key players, and they beat the foundering Crack Dogs by only 11 points. The Barbarians ave won 2 of their last 3, losing this last game by only 5. The Patriot should still pull it off by 15 points, though, unless that curse kicks in...

Jason the Impartial Announcer - 10/05/00 23:59:28

Comments:
Oh boy. Now we're into the dregs. Yes, it's the two 1-4 teams head to head in a game that is sure to be as exciting as watching paint dry at midnight. Ex-Patriot pulled a stunning win last week against the Bolts in the first win in their history, managing to capture both Best Team and Best Player honors. Ironically, both of these teams who have beaten the Bolts, but no one else. This week one of their 0-4 records against non-Bolts teams will end in a blaze of mediocrity. We call Ex-Patriot by 10.

Jason the Annoyed - 10/05/00 14:20:25

Comments:
Don't worry Mike. I'm sure you won't have that problem this week (grumble). It sure would be swell if I break a hundred one more time this season though...

MIKE ELLIOTT - 10/04/00 16:49:31

Comments:
TO: ALL THE TEAMS WHO ARE KICKING MY ASS: PLEASE STOP SCORING SO MANY POINTS AGAINST ME! I AM AVERAGING 122.20 POINTS AGAINST PER GAME! THE NEXT CLOSEST GUY IS 15.8 POINTS LESS PER GAME THAN ME AND THE TEAM WITH THE LEAST POINTS AGAINST IS AVERAGING 3 .8 POINTS LESS THAN ME. PLEASE STOP BEATING ME UP OR I'M GONNA TAKE MY BALL AND GO HOME. P.S. DON'T THINK THAT I'M A CRYBABY OR ANYTHING...

Lord of the Weevils - 10/03/00 16:14:06

Comments:
Well, well, well. It looks as though Randy Moss and the Ex-Patriots would like to participate after all. The question remains whether they can repeat such a brilliant showing. They may be able to catch the deflated Crack Puppies, but they'll be hard-pr ssed to match Warner's Evil Weevils!

Jason the Disgruntled - 10/02/00 23:26:46

Comments:
Great. Now I'm stuck with the rest of you losers!

wayne the victorious - 10/02/00 12:09:30
My URL:los patriooooooots

Comments:
Kdawg...bang!

Jason the Impartial Announcer - 09/28/00 16:24:16

Comments:
This is the game of the week. The Patriot handed a Crack Dog-style ass-whoopin' to Dan's Green Machine last game. On the other hand, the Crack Dogs were on the receiving end of said whoopin'. When asked whether or not this loss had affected their morale, eam members responded, "What? There was a game last week?" With some big players back from bye weeks, the Crack Dogs will post some better numbers, while The Patriot's performance is unlikely to be quite so brilliant this time. We call the Crack Dog's by 5.

Jason the Impartial Announcer - 09/28/00 16:10:52

Comments:
The Weevils are riding high after their stunning victory the Crack Dogs, and are bragging about being the only team to get over 100 points every game so far. Dan's Green Machine has only managed that honor once so far. The Weevils confidently predict vict ry, and look forawrd to revenge against The Patriot who stole Best Player honors from them by one point. We give the Weevils 30 points.

Jason the Impartial Announcer - 09/28/00 16:06:40

Comments:
Red Alert returned to their winning ways last weekend by steamrollering the Bolts. The Barbarians, on the other hand, have somehow managed to pull together back-to-back wins, but these were against Dan's Green Machine and Expatriot, so draw your own concl sions. Bye weeks aren't an issue this week, but the Barbarians are facing a tougher schedule. Red Alert will spank the Barbarians by at least 30.

Jason the Impartial Announcer - 09/28/00 16:00:03

Comments:
In what will likely be yet another lopsided game, the winless Expatriot will visit the Bolts. Although it may seem like the Expatriot will get another "L" easily tatooed on their collective ass, but it should be noted that they've never lost a game by mor than 12 points, and the Bolts are missing a couple of key players. The Expatriot could very well pull this one off. (Bolts by 10)

Wayne the dream killa - 09/27/00 16:13:35
My URL:bad ass pats

Comments:
Ex-Patriot...you couldn't cut it when you were a Patriot - now you see why you're an Ex-Pat

Wayne "King Tut" - 09/27/00 16:10:57
My URL:Super machine

Comments:
Dan "little" machine...please get your nose outta my ass

Wayne Wonderful - 09/27/00 16:05:47

Comments:
Feeble Machine...what's that on your nose?? Could it be doggie dung?

Dan - 09/26/00 17:28:58
My URL:Green Machine

Comments:
Wayne Tuttle kicked my sorry ASS!!!!!! He is the king!!!!

Mike Elliott - 09/24/00 01:54:33

Comments:
To: Jason Hall: Sorry about the tirade. I must admit that I felt better after I wrote it, however. Keep those cards and letters coming in.

Wayne the dream killer - 09/23/00 12:55:32
My URL:Los Patriots

Comments:
Ouch!

- 09/22/00 18:39:17

Comments:


Mike Elliott - 09/21/00 17:02:33

Comments:
TO: JASON THE %$#^#@+ IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The only thing that you know about football is what you read from your friggin' computer. You and your weevil-wobble buddy may have been stunned that I beat his butt last week, but I wasn't. Keep your pompous-assed predictions to yourself, you rat basta d!

Jason the Impartial Announcer - 09/20/00 21:41:20

Comments:
What do you do when two of the worst teams battle to see who is the least loser? Go shopping. The Barbarians are going to try to prove that their win over Dan's Green Machine wasn't a fluke, and Ex-Patriot is going to try to erase that goose egg in the Wi column. So who's going to carry the day? Who really cares? It was a fluke, though. Expatriot wins by 5.

Jason the Impartial Announcer - 09/20/00 21:39:02

Comments:
How much fun is it to watch two teams with twice as many losses as wins slug it out? Not much, but at least this week either The Patriot or Dan's Green Machine will break even while the other will fall to 1-3. The Machine will definitely be more damaged b bye weeks and also just suffered an embarassing loss to the Barbarians. We suspect that The Patriot will be up by 15.

Jason the Impartial Announcer - 09/20/00 21:01:15

Comments:
Last week, these two teams were heavy underdogs in their respective games. One, the Bolts, carried the day, leaving the stunned Weevils in their wake. The other, Red Alert, was thoroughly shellacked, as predicted. Last week, though, Red Alert suffered the crippling loss of Edgerrin James. He's back this week, though, and it' the Bolts who are suffering from the depletion of their Wide Receivers. We predict that Red Alert will win by 10.

Jason the Impartial Announcer - 09/20/00 20:56:47

Comments:
This week two of the top teams in the league face each other in a must-see game. The 2-1 Weevils are coming to Crack House Stadium after an incredible upset at the hands of the Bolts. The Crack Dogs, on the other hand, are home after winning the "I Told Y u So" game of the week after handily beating Red Alert. This one will be more challenging, though, since the Crack Dogs are losing three players to bye weeks while all of the Weevils are active. Sean Michael, the owner of the Weevils, confidently predicts victory with a 120-104 margin. The Crack Dogs scoff at his poor math.

- 09/18/00 17:17:54

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Mosca - 09/18/00 14:39:55
My URL:Red Alert

Comments:
Have to hand to Crack Dogs I could have played my whole roster and lost to them.wait till next time.

Jason the Victorious - 09/18/00 13:09:35

Comments:
Darn. We didn't beat the spread.

Jaason the Cool - 09/14/00 17:01:58

Comments:
If I wasn't up until 1:00 in the morning, working on this webpage, I'd come back with a REALLY nasty comeback.

joe - 09/14/00 15:28:42
My URL:red alert

Comments:
Crack Dogs will feel like dogs on crack after Sunday.

kdawg - 09/14/00 00:53:24
My URL:ohitsnot over

Comments:
You are way to cocky for a rookie. Please understand, it's gonna be a nightmare on my street when I get done with your DUNG DOG ass!

Jason the Impartial Announcer - 09/12/00 17:03:56

Comments:
In what will probably be only a vaguely interesting game, Dan's Green Machine is ready to continue the Barbarians' losing streak. In spite of a poor first week, Dan's Green Machine rebounded to pound the Bolts last week with an impressive showing. They wi l also have no losses to bye weeks. The Barbarians had been desperately trying to fill the gaping holes in their lineup even before the mauling they received at the hands of the Crack Dogs, and the final lineup is not ready by the time of this writing. Th y will, however, lose one of their few good players to the bye week. Don't be surprised if Dan's Green Machine hands the Barbarians another loss with a 15 point margin.

Jason the Impartial Announcer - 09/12/00 16:55:58

Comments:
The undefeated Weevils are set to continue their winning streak, but the 1-1 Bolts have other plans. The Weevils will be hurt by the bye-week loss of their defense, while the Bolts will be helped by the loss of their quarterback. Nevertheless, the Weevils have outscored the Bolts by an average of about 20 points per game and are facing an easier schedule. We won't be surprised to see the Weevils win by 21.

Jason the Impartial Announcer - 09/12/00 16:08:33

Comments:
In what can only be described as a battle of mediocrity, the Patriot will play against their hated rivals, the Ex-Patriot. The Patriot is losing a couple of key players to bye weeks that could have affected the game if the Ex-Patriot's roster wasn't also hort a couple of vital bodies. This one's a toss-up, kiddies, but we'll predict the Patriot by five because of their higher point average.

Jason the Bold - 09/12/00 01:26:04

Comments:
After pulverizing the Barbarians in week 2, the Crack Dogs are pumped up to take on Red Alert. Both teams come into this game undefeated. What will this week hold? Will it be an even match, or will it be another brutally one-sided slaughter? Can Red Alert manage to beat the tremendous odds against them and stop the Crack Dog Death Machine, or will the Crack Dogs summarily bitch-slap them into the loser column as easily as they did the Barbarians? Seeing as Red Alert will be without their best player, Edger in James, due to the bye week while the Crack Dogs' entire bloodthirsty lineup is intact, we're predicting another thorough plastering with a 50 point spread in the Crack Dogs' favor. You might want to tune in anyway, just in case somebody's head comes off again.

Jason the Destroyer - 09/11/00 19:36:24

Comments:
Actually, Mike, I was talking about YOUR pubes. I hear you use thimble-sized condoms.

MIKE ELLIOTT - 09/11/00 19:30:12

Comments:
JASON HALL Not enough to fill a dixie cup??? You shouldn't talk about your girl's private parts like that.

Jason the Cool - 09/11/00 19:18:10
My URL:CRACK DOGS

Comments:
THE BARBARIANS HAVE BEEN ATOMIZED! There's not enough left of them on the field to fill a Dixie Cup! Beware Red Alert! BEWARE!!

Jason the Heroic - 09/07/00 13:40:41
Team:Crack Dogs

Comments:
Dan's Weenie Machine has fallen before the Crack Dog Juggernaut! Who will be next to end up a stinky, sticky pile of roadkill on our road to victory?

Jason the Great - 09/07/00 13:35:28
Team:Crack Dogs

Comments:
Hot DAMN I'm cool! You can just call me Mister HTML God! Or Fantasy Football God. Whichever.