February 5, 1999
Excerpts from "The Book of BoB"
. . . and lo, it came to pass that unto the nuptial consummations of MoM and DaD brought forth a child from their palindromic dualities. And they named the child BoB, and placed him in the middle of his older and younger brothers, Bo and oB (who were obviously lesser than BoB). And thus it came to pass that BoB graced his infantile years with splendid amount of poop unto the world. . .
. . . and BoB asked of his dualistic parents, MoM and DaD, "Why is it that school officials focus so much on the length of shorts instead of concentrating on the vital concern of training young minds for the future?" MoM and DaD were thus flabbergasted for at the time BoB was just two years old and had seen none of the world. Yet BoB in his almighty wisdom had already pressed into the mysteries of education and fashion. Thus, BoB was named the Almighty and was toilet-trained. . .
. . . and at the age of 11, BoB was sent out into the world to feed the wolves, for MoM and DaD believed this was the duty of all Almighty Beings, but BoB tamed the wolves with a spork, and rode back home upon their backs and together they piddled on MoM's fine Persian rug. . .
. . . and BoB said unto the world, "I am Almighty and pie is good!"