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| How To Do Things (Faster!) |
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| Our lives drain away with every one of the 3600 seconds of every 24 hours of those long, wearisome 365 days that we so succinctly and curtly entitle a year. How much meaning and importance do we attach to those few seconds wasted on meaningless and mundane tasks that merely add to the drudgery of everyday life? Fuck all, but I don't care. I like saving time. I hate sleep. I like to drive stupidly fast even though I know I'll be getting to work early. I'd rather sit and savour every delicious thoughtful moment, than condemn myself to a few minutes' cheerless, monotonous work. So, in keeping with the spirit of the sleepless 90s, soon to become the 24 / 7 society of the 2000, here is our series that teaches you the tricks of Not Just Doing Things... But Doing Them Faster. |
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| 1. Watering Plants: Plant them in the bath. Alternately, plant them in your sink, thus saving money on expensive washing-up liquids by organically scenting your crockery. | |||||||||