THE APPLESHADE FILES

File Two

Mime's a Large One

"If a tree falls in the woods, Mr Frog..."

"...and there's no-one there to hear it, Mr Appleshade?"

"...but it kills a mime upon landing..."

"..Does anybody care?"

"I think not."

The London Underground station is deserted, but for our two heroes, a sleeping policeman and a troupe of worried-looking mime artistes.

"I do believe, Mr Frog, that our train will be arriving shortly at this platform."

"Remarkable, Mr Appleshade. Do you think it will be crowded?"

"I doubt it."

The sound of machine-gun fire does not wake the sleeping policeman, who, if he had been conscious, might well have been bemused by the dozen or so artistes silently performing the "being riddled with bullets" mime in an incredibly realistic way.

"I hope that gun had a silencer, Mr Appleshade."

"Haha... very droll, Mr Frog."

"Splendid."

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