Disclaimer- Wow, these things get old quick. All of the characters of
Excalibur and the like are Marvel’s characters and not mine, but this story
is copyrighted to me. This is just for fun, so don’t sue!
AN AMERICAN DENTIST IN LONDON
Part 2: Pub Hopping
I arrived in the room first, phasing my way in from the ceiling. I heard
Rahne run through the door, followed by Meggan who flew in holding Moira.
Standing by the hole were Pete, Peter, Kurt, and Douglock. They looked at
the hole in the wall with a large amount of disdain, and when the back-up
generators kicked in and Moira’s voice followed, you could see the amount of
embaresment in their faces.
"What in sam hell happened?!" Moira shouted.
"Uh, we were engaging in a game of football, Moira," Douglock attempted.
"Would you enjoy joining us for our next round?" Moira’s face reddened with
anger and it grew deeper and deeper while Meggan, Rahne, and tried to stifle
our laughter.
"This is a bleetin hospital, ye stupid jerk! Ye should NAE be doin such
things! I can nae ken what colder been goin through yuir minds, but ye
better hope for the lot of ye that it was a damn good reason, or I’ll chop
yuir heads off this verra instant!" It became harder and harder to not laugh
as giggles quietly filled the background of the room. Meggan, Rahne, and I
were practically in tears.
The boys were not so lucky. Douglock was curious as to why she was reacting
this way, Kurt was embarrassed he ever supported the idea of football in the
first place, Peter was feeling guilty, and Pete apparently had a death wish.
"Look, ya soddin’ git," Pete began.
"NAE! I just told ya to SHUT OOP, now SHUT OOP!!!!!!" Moira screamed. Pete
winced and backed off as Moira headed toward him. Meggan snorted while
laughing, which made Rahne and I fall to the floor laughing, and Meggan soon
followed. Douglock whimsically observed. "First of all, I’m trying to enjoy
a good movie and time with me friends! Ye gone and ruined it, ye have!
Second of all, this is a medical institution! Ye do nae go about playing
FOOTBALL in it’s labs! Thirdly, I want this cleaned oop, or I’ll have yuir
livers for me breakfast! Now GET TO WORK!!!!!" Moira stomped outta the
room. Rahne, Meggan, and I let out our laughter and began to cry we were
laughing so hard.
"And what do you find so bloody hilarious?" Pete inquired.
We couldn’t reply. We were to torn up with tears and laughter. The only
response they got was Meggan waving her hand, and the wall with the hole in
it began to fill itself up. With a spark of electricity, the wires were
fixed and the power came back on. Within moments, the wall was back as it
previously was.
"Uh, thanks," Kurt said. "What do we do now-
"And another thing!" Moira stormed back into the room, only to be startled
by the wall. "Oh, ye’ve got it fixed already?"
"Yes," Meggan responded, getting up off the floor. "I fixed it."
"You stupid jerks better thank Meggan for saving yuir lousy butts," Moira
demanded. "So clean up this mess while the rest of us go enjoy a good
movie!" Moira walked out of the room, only to be followed by Rahne, Meggan,
and I. Once we got in the elevator, Moira began to laugh, and we all burst
into laughter. Moira broke into guffaws, and we all curled over in gales of
laughter. The elevator, having received no command, stayed put, until Pete
Wisdom walked up to it.
"What are you bleetin laughin at?!" he exclaimed. Moira stood straight and
her face went serious.
"Go clean up," Moira said, giving into herself and letting a smile and a
giggle through, "you stupid git." This cause more laughter as the boys had
thought she was seriously angry before, and Pete just stood there,
astonished, while the elevator finally received an order.
"Hey! Look! I already told Kitty! No usin me own insults back at me!" We
heard Pete scream while the elevator shut and went up it’s shaft.
***
Pete Wisdom quickly walked back into the damaged lab. "That’s bloody it!
We’re goin pub hoppin! Come on! Let’s go! Get into the Moonlight Flit and
we’ll just bleedin take off!" The others looked at him doubtfully.
"Comrade, Moira was very upset at us. I think we should stay and clean up,"
Peter voiced.
"Well, that bloody jock was just in the elevator laughin it up with me girl
and the others!" Pete explained. "And I ain’t doin no work for her while
she’s off laughin at us! Let’s go pub hopping!"
"Query, Friend Wisdom," Douglock interjected, "but what do you mean by pub
hopping?"
"We’re goin to a pub! Let’s go Douglock!" Pete walked down the hall.
Douglock began to follow. He turned to his teammates.
"It seems logical to go," Douglock said, turning around and following Pete.
Peter glanced at Kurt, who shrugged and said, "Why not? Let’s go!" The two
men followed off to the hangar and the plane took off and headed off to
London.
***
"Tho I theth to Ted, I theth to Ted, I theth," Pete Wisdom babbled on
drunkenly.
"Pete, you’re drunk," Kurt pointed out.
"Thatsth not what I said, you soddin git," Pete slurred. "Get me a thoddin
beer!!!! I want me a beer!!!!!" Peter walked back from the bathroom.
"Tho anywayth, I thez to Ted, I thez, Ted," Pete wildly gestured knocking
over an empty beer glass.
"Comrade," Peter whispered to his neighbor, Douglock, "How long has he been
like this?"
"It has been my observation that Mr. Wisdom has been quite drunk for the
past hour but he has been a loud for the past twenty minutes," Douglock
informed. "He apparently can not stop talking about what he said to Ted."
"Look," Pete said, turning to Douglock, "you bloody bum, what you need to
do, is have yourthelf a beer! Go ON! Try one!" Pete pushed a beer towards
Douglock and it instead fell into Douglock’s lap.
"Query, is Mr. Wisdom what we call a loud drunk?" Douglock inquired. Pete
looked up shockingly and stared at Douglock.
"Hey, now YOU looky here!" Pete began.
"Douglock," Kurt put in. "I believe you mean is Pete here a ‘mean’ drunk."
"What you need to do, ith get drunk of yer ath!" Pete insisted.
"And yes, he is," Peter added.
"Sir," the bartender who was watching our table and had just walked over,
"we’re about to leave, so if you wouldn’t mind.."
"You know what?" Pete asked. "I do mind! Itth all a bloody plan of the
ethtablithment, to bring me down and stop me from gettin me rummy! GIMMEE MY
RUM, you bloody pom!"
Kurt got out of his chair and stepped between the bartender and Pete.
"We’ll be happy to leave, sir!" Smiling, Kurt gestured to go.
"AND another thing, if you think you’re gonna outlaw me fagth like they did
all over America with their bleedin No Thmokin thignth, u gotta another thing
comin to ya!!!!! Smokers will unite againtht you thoddin jocks!" Pete
preached. "Can I get an amen?"
"Amen," Douglock mumbled, whimsically watching Pete and grinning. Pete got
out of his chair and headed out of the bar. "Mr. Wisdom, sir, I believe it
is time to exit this establishment."
"I love thith guy," Pete replied, looking at Douglock. "I LOVE this guy!
He’s the best! Douglock, don’t go changin jutht for me, y’hear?" Pete
didn’t budge, so while Douglock held the door open, Peter and Kurt picked him
up by his feet and his arms and carted him out.
"Pryde? Pryde?" Pete shouted. "Where’d thhe go to now? Where ith that
gurl when a man needth thome lovin?" Douglock grinned again, and the door
slammed shut behind Pete, leaving the people in the pub with some (or
"thome") peace.
***
Tears filled the dark room with the flickering television in the lab in Muir
Isle.
"Oh, it’s so sad!" I complained. "I din nae feel good now! What’s gonna
happened te him?"
"Oh, the wee lad!" Moira whined. "The poor Harrison Ford, goin on like that
and gettin shot in the head. The poor wee buirn!"
"Well," Kitty commented while crossing over to turn the television and TV
off, "that was a good movie."
"Indeed it was," Meggan vehemently agreed, passing the tissue on when she
was done with them.
"Ohhh, the wee buirn!!!!" Moira saddened.
"Aye," Rahne agreed, "but we should be getting to bed! We’ve got a mission
tomorrow, and there should be nae a thing to bother us during it! Least of
all feeling bad cuz we slept so little!"
"Hark at the sadness!" Moira went on.
"I agree, Rahne, we’ve all got long days ahead of us tomorrow," Meggan
voiced, glancing at Kitty. "Whether it be going to the dentists or checking
up on the Friend’s Of Humanity….."
"Hark at it!" Moira continued.
"Good night, then!" Kitty said, walking over to Meggan and giving her a hug.
"Good night, Kitty," I said while I gave her a hug. "Good night, Meggan. I
had a lot of fun tonite." I gave Meggan a hug and walked to the door. "Good
night, Lady Moira!" I waited for a response.
"Just HARK at it! It’s such a sad movie!" Moira proceeded.
I walked out the door and went to bed.
***
Meanwhile, a group of "Friends" were waiting outside a pub after receiving
an anonymous phone call about a certain group of "pub hoppers."
***
"Put me down, ye stinkin tin plate, or I’ll cut off you neck and spit down
yer bleedin throat!" Pete screamed. Douglock glanced around the dark alley
they had walked in to set Pete down.
"Pete, you are such a loud drunk!" Kurt laughed, shaking his head.
A blast of plasma rung through the air and hit Pete Wisdom right in the
stomach. Another one rung through the air and hit Peter Rasputin in armor
form. A final blast was aimed at Nightcrawler who teleported away in time.
The sound of running footsteps followed, and then silence. Nightcrawler
teleported away again to go after the men, while Peter ran after them.
Douglock attended to Mr. Wisdom.
"Mr. Wisdom, sir, you should be okay, sir," Douglock evaluated. "It seems
like a mortal blast, but once we get you back Moira can work on you and you
should heal fine."
"What happened? Did that Russian tank attack me again?" Pete babbled,
losing his grip on consciousness.
"No, sir," Douglock answered. "But I assure you, sir, you shall indeed be
fine." Pete’s eyes shut. "Sir? Sir? Sir?"
The silence nearly echoed itself throughout the street.
"I always thoddin hated it when it wath quiet…." Pete babbled, and fell
asleep.
"Sir? Sir?"
To Be Continued in Part 3: Lectures of the Dawn
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