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Dear XXX:
This is a very common problem women
complain about, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception.
Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with
no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package.
However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed
by its creator to run as few applications as possible.
Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0
and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not designed
to do this. Hidden operating files within your system would
cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is
gained.
It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or
purge the program files from the system, once installed. Any
new program files can only be installed once per year, as
Husband 1.0 has severely limited memory. Error messages are
common, and a normal part of Husband 1.0.
In desperation to play some of their "old
time" favorite applications, or to get new applications
to work, some women have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0, or
Husband 2.0. However, these women end up with more problems
than encountered with Husband 1.0.
Look in your manual under "Warnings:
Divorce/Child Support." You will notice that this program
runs very poorly, and comes bundled with HeartBreak 1.3. I
recommend you keep Husband 1.0, and just learn the quirks
of this strange and illogical system.
Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might
also suggest you read the entire section regarding General
Partnership Faults [GPFs]. This is a wonderful feature of
Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent company as an
integral part of the operating system.
Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility
for ALL faults and problems, regardless of root cause. To
activate this great feature enter the command "C:\ I
THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME".
Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously
while entering the command. Husband 1.0 should then run the
applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.
TECH TIP!
Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create additional
and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give
a C:\ I APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to
normal operations. Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default
to GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse yet, to Beer 6.0.
Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes
Husband 1.0 to create FatBelly files and SnoringLoudly wave
files that are very hard to delete. Save yourself some trouble
by following this tech tip!
Just remember! The system will run smoothly,
and take the blame for all GPFs, but because of this fine
feature it can only intermittently run all the applications
Boyfriend 5.0 ran. Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it
does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications
quickly.
Consider buying additional software to improve
performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie
5.3 and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities
can really help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly.
After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will
become familiar and you will find many valuable embedded features
such as FixBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend
7.6.
A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any
circumstances, install MotherInLaw 1.0. This is not a supported
application, and will cause selective shutdown of the operating
system. Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting
5.2 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled.
I hope these notes have helped. Thank you
for choosing to install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support
wish you the best of luck in coming years. We trust you will
learn to fully enjoy this product!
Originally by Andrea
January
28/2000 from a newsgroup
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