A Receiving

Today I went for a long walk...longer than usual, much to think of, touch and let in through the door past the walls.

Off to the side under some aspen, down the trail, I saw some deer - a doe and a fawn. The snow is deep and I know it takes great energy for them to move. Rather than frighten them I watched for a time. It was calm and periodically they would look up and see me as I them. This went on for some time...neither of us moving...during which time I wondered. When does one know they are being given something? Alternatively, how does one know to hold out their hand and receive it? I have thought in the past few days that I am being given something...caring, intimate and close. It is new to me...wrapped in a rainbow blanket with spirit, patience and simple magic expressed. I do not believe I have received as such before.

She makes no demands and seemingly allows me to watch, to be and to do. Like the deer on the trail we share together and I'm left with a feeling that I give and receive both from and with her. Viewing each other like the deer we share a special forested perch together; a habitat of our own to which we bring all the flowers of our pasts for display and to show and tell. She does not force me to run in the deep snow...allowing me to roam, to wander and view as needed - as desired.

As I became chilly standing and watching the deer, I moved forward...our eyes lost each other and I instinctly knew...the moment separating us had been infringed upon for each of us. It would have been better to remained still , savor and enjoy ....in the hopes and desire to return later and greet again with a view to growing closer. There is a time to give and receive...it is incremental and infinite beginning at the simplest levels. This is joy.