30.dec.98
Now It is 2.jan.99 I want to tell about this day. Before this day it was a long period of ineptitude, insipidness and "lukewormity". But this day I have met 3 Perfect girls. By the way I can't say that I become an active and positive and so on but now I pay attention to good girls again.
First was brunette. I think it is very difficult to be a real one beautiful girl if you (look) are 100% per cent brunette. But she was a wonder with a style and poise. I have met her in the pedestrian subway. She walked towards me but never paid me attention at all. It's strange but I have an impression she was only in the dress. (See the date). If it is possible to compare her with Sheryl Crow, her figure was better, her manners was on her level but her individuality may be not so bright expressed. (I often wonder how such girls happened to be in the subway, they can be easily seen in the Ferrary cars).
That day I was in the city on the street with many reminiscences connected with my brother's job, with buying computers and walking to the theatre. But it was many years ago, (except the latter). So near the Theatre of Majakovskii I met probably the best, (from word "good"), girl. Her height was as mine, she had a fairy long hair, open, (may be), kind glance. She looked at me and it was very fair look. I think that she might be kind fairy, (not intentional appeal). She had at once full self-respect and plain not pretending manners. I guess she might be an actress from intelligent family but not spoilt type of actress. She was very good girl. (It's a pity I hadn't any mental power to try to make acquaintance with her, and I minded my own business by that time -((().
So, the final destination of my expedition was an office right across the street to the Theatre called after Majakovskii. When I sat in this office I have seen the playbill on the wall of the theatre with those one show, which I have watched one year ago with a girl. I felt a little bit blue and than I felt by my spine entrance the very beautiful girl. I sat turned back to her and she sat turned back to me. The distance was about 6-7 meters. Than one or two clerks were moved between tables and me turned to 45 degrees towards. Then I was trying to make a look at her, not to contact, but only to watch. Then, (I don't know how), she changed her seat and I stood up and turned to her. So we can look at each other. I don't understand but she look steadily in my eyes it was a very steady and self-confident, self-assured look but without any kind of challenge. I didn't afraid of her but I can't see in her eyes. (Physically, it was easily). I felt unable to prefer her anything appropriate. She was a very beautiful girl with fair light brown hair. She reminds me the other very swell girl so strongly that I can imagine their as a sisters. She had a perfect bearing, steady, (may be a little bit not very warm look). And I'm sure she have a car, uses it every day and this is a car not a bad one. In the office she made a first-rate expensive order. She is not simply well-to-do girl with a latch-key, she belongs to other higher class. I couldn't match her with money, (for example, to invite her in "her" restaurant), I'm not so handsome as was in my youth any longer. I have lost my ability in amusing girl, (I must feel self-assured myself, I must feel energy I must feel as a little imp for this "Cheshire Cat Humor"). So I turned each time to the window and looked to the massive and solid remnants of my reminiscences of the red brick theatre building through the pane. But I knew she continued the scrutiny of my incongruity.
There was a movie "9 days of one year," (don't mess up with "9/2 weeks"). In this movie it was sad, that every life have its crucial points and its are a few. So that day was not from my ordinary life. For example when my family have bought very good car I felt nothing, it was very good and all pleasure but it hadn't nothing to do with me. By the way do you believe in divine trials and ordeals
(Note: Music: when I think of it business I hear in my ears Dead Can Dance "The Carnival is Over.")