SARAH				JAN.20/99

The biggest role model/leader I have ever had in my life would probably be my sister, Sarah. She was there to answer all the stupid, five year old "but WHY??" questions, she taught me to read, she taught me to draw, and she taught me to stand up for myself.

When I was heading off for my first class after assembly on my first day of junior high, Sarah was hesitant to leave me. Although, when she did, she left me with these words of advice:

"If anyone bugs you, just turn your back on them, and talk to your friends. If you're being bugged in the halls, just keep walking. And most importantly, if you're lost, DON'T LOOK IT!! Just go to the closest teacher, and politely ask them to direct you."

Well, I had a good first day. I mean, sure, plenty of kids bugged me, in the class and in the halls, but I ignored them. When I was lost, I asked a teacher, or followed kids I knew were in my class. I actually got stuck during the second day, when I couldn't remember which option I had!

Sarah was there when I wrote my first remotely good story, and even though I know it wasn't that great, she made me feel like it was the best thing I'd ever write. When I was in grade 8, I would always get her to read my story assignments before I handed them in, because I knew she'd be honest. I would come home frustrated some times, because the teacher hadn't thought my work was as good as Sarah had. I'd complain to her, and she always said the same thing:

" One of these days, you're gonna have to write a story about this girl who's teacher didn't like her writing style. Write about how she's shut away, and eventually just rots away out of misery. Then maybe he'll get the picture!".

Well, I didn't write a story, but I sure wrote one whopper of a poem about it. The amazing thing is, the teacher liked it. He may not have gotten the message I wanted him to, but I think he took a bit of a hint!

Well, she did teach me to read, but not in the sense you would immediately think of. She recommended books. Last year, I started reading this book called Druids, by Morgan Llywelyn. I really liked it! One day during the summer, Sarah wanted to go for a walk, and I didn't. I wanted to sit on the couch all day, and read my book. Well, Sarah had other ideas. She snatched to book out of my hand, and ran out the door! I chased her all the way to the sub-division before she stopped, and the two of us realised we hadn't bothered to grab shoes on our way out!

Well, Sarah was the one to recommend Druids to me, so in a way, it was her fault I didn't want to walk that day. Since then, I have read 2 other Morgan Llywelyn books, and liked them all. I even wrote a book report on Bard last week, and got 90%!

Sarah’s the one who encouraged me to read what she called “Real BOOK books”, instead of stupid little horror stories, and snatches about kids who have huge, life altering accidents with, say, their spaghetti or something!

Sarah’s also taught me to be independent. Right now, she’s gone to England until the middle of March. While most people would be throwing parties when their sisters left, I’m having a difficult time grasping how long she’ll be gone. But she gave me advice before she left. She told me not to worry about how she was, because that would just make things seem longer, and I’d just get more upset, and make things more difficult for myself, and so on. She told me to write down all the good things that happen to me while she’s gone (in good detail) and think about those when I miss her. She told me to hold onto the advantages of being the only female child in the house, like picking out desert, or choosing what movie to eat infront of.

She told me to spend more time being a wacky teen with my friends; To do something to change the room around, since for two months it’s not gonna be “Our Mutual Room” as it has been referred to for the past while.

She told me to do all of these things, because she wanted me to enjoy the time while she was away, and to try and focus on what I really wanted: the day she comes back. And yah know what? So far it’s worked. Whenever I start to worry about Sarah, I turn on my Lord Of The Dance soundtrack and pull out my favorite book. The other day when I was on the internet, I found an email address where I could contact Morgan Llywelyn. I did, and to my surprise, she wrote back! I wrote down every detail of how I found it, and saved the copy I printed. It made me feel better for a little while. Well, I may not have picked out a meal yet, but when I was feeling down this afternoon, my Dad decided I could pick out what kind of green vegetables we were going to have with supper so that I wouldn’t be terribly devastated when I got served something I didn’t want! (gee, such pity!)

I change my room around the other day. I took Sarah’s drawing table into the basement space for the time being, and made this really cute little thing with my stuffed animals against that wall. Whenever I’m sitting in my room feeling depressed, I just have to look at how cute they are, and I’m a little happier already.

I talked to Sarah on the phone the other day, and she could tell I was lonely. She told me she would write down all the things she knew I would want to hear about, and send them to me in about a month. She also told me to get out of the house, and try and do something to take my mind of my present state of singularity. Well, I haven’t yet, but I have every confidence that it will help, because she hasn’t been wrong yet.

I haven’t yet tried to imagine what it would be like having no older sister, but then, I really don’t want to. Sarah’s shown me alot of things that I never would have seen if she hadn’t been here. She’s given criticism and advice, and somehow, her ideas always seem to work out. She’s definitely my role model, and my leader.


-Jacqui Chesterton
take me back home