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"I love the game," or "I miss the fans."
Will Michael Jordan return again? Ryne Sandberg, the great Cub second baseman retired and returned. So did Magic Johnson. Look at all of the boxers who retire only to return.
Why?
Of course there is the money but there is one possible reason why these famous, filty rich people come back out of retirement.
Ear hair.
Most people start noticing these eye sores around the age of 30 or so. Just imagine Michael having his wife trim those hairs. It would be enough to bring anyone out of retirement, especially when considering those ears are used to hearing cheers of adulation.
When I first noticed them, my first thought was to cut and burn, but any rash attempt would bring serious consequences- "eeoowee!"- scarred for life.
Forever, people would ask, "Where did he get that awful ear scar? Vietnam, Los Angeles, Granada?
"Nah," my wife would say. "He got it trimming ear hairs." Ear hair should not make a person feel uneasy. In fact, since very few adolescents have them, maybe ear hair is only for those with wisdom and maturity. Don't grow your hair long to cover them; glorify in them.
"Yeah! I made it to adulthood. See my ear hair. My opinion is worth listening to."
Think of the many famous Americans who did not become names for the ages until after their ear hair began to sprout.
Abe Lincoln- He lost election after election and even had a couple business failures until his ear hair matured and he was elected President. The rest, as they say, is history.
Robert Frost- This famous poet, acclaimed by many to be the greatest poet of the 20th century, never had a poem published until his late 30s. His fame came even later.
On the down side, ear hairs may also indicate several ominous signs. Maybe they mean that the dreams of fame and fortune are over and you better start investing heavily or you will be eating table scraps from the local poorhouse.
Another ear hair message is how you have become the couch potato who watches all of the sports on television. You know exactly how each coach lost each game and you can argue with a lot of other men who also have ear hair how you know what is your with America.
Your body is rotting away. You no longer feel good every day and you are getting those illnesses that only people with ear hairs get. Anything that involves a hard sweat you put off until you hire some teenage-know-it-all who has no ear hair to do the work.
All I can do is speculate on the effect of ear hair on our human psyche, but I know there is one decision that will have a longer lasting effect on my future.
I must try to remember to put my ear hair trimmer in the same place every day so I will not forget where I put it.