We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls and are nice to us even when we blow up our computers. We got off the Titanic first. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous, however men look like complete idiots in ours.
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We can be groupies. Male groupies are just stalkers. We can cry and get out of speeding tickets. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or a central figure in a video or computer game. Taxis stop for us. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. |
Free drinks. Free dinners. Free movies. (You get the point.) We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay. We know the truth about whether size matters. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. |
If we have sex with someone and don't call them the next day, we're not the devil. Condoms make no significant differences in our enjoyment of sex. If we're not making enough money we can blame the glass ceiling. Nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep. It's possible for us to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. |
No fashion faux pas we make could rival the speedo. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. If we cheat on our spouse, people assume it's because we're being emotionally neglected. We NEVER wonder if his orgasm was real. If we shave, no one has to know. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her ass. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it. |
If we're dumb, people think it's cute. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. We have the ability to dress ourselves. We have an excuse to be a total bitch at least once a month. We can talk to members of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware
that we look like an idiot.
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There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. Gay waiters don't make us uncomfortable. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth. We'll never regret piercing our ears. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. We'll never discover we've been duped by a Wonder bra. We know which glass was ours by our lipstick mark. |
We are NOT men.
~credits~ The text was an email. Blissley
did the page
All pages written by Blissley Bythewaye unless othewise stated (including but not limited to the layout & design, attributed pages, and index.html pages) all written material contained in Perpetual Bliss is Copyright ©1999, 2000.
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