Transcript of Giggle.mp3
SARAH: Sorry! K, you know what? The recording is a little bit aggressive.
Janice and Randi are waving the mic wildly in front of her face. Laughter. THUNK! as the mic hits Randi in the forehead.
SARAH: Smarted ya! That's from last night when you ba-(turns to Janice) She frickin' gave me a shiner last night. BAM!
RANDI: I didn't mean to!
SARAH: ?? and she's like Poof! and I'm like "Aah!" but-
JANICE: Blue cow eye.
RANDI: Say blue cow eye.
SARAH: Blue cow eye!
RANDI: Say blue cow eye.
SARAH: Blue cow eye!
JANICE: Blue cow eye.
SARAH: Argh.
RANDI: Argh.
SARAH: OK, no, back to the story. Yeah, so um..k, that's really annoying. It's like this thing about to jump out of my peripheral vision. Will you just-..Will you stop it?
Randi and Sarah begin fighting over the mic again.
SARAH: None of that now, Miss Ashen Grey.
JANICE: Quit breaking my microphone.
RANDI: Poke her! Poke her!
SARAH: Do it and die.
RANDI: Poke her!
JANICE: "Janice I'm gonna kill you!"
RANDI: Poke her!
SARAH: What, you don't believe me? (Janice pokes Sarah.) BRAAAAAUUUUUUUGH!!
Struggling. Sarah jumps out of her chair.
JANICE: Oh dear.
SARAH: I don't like this game anymore! I don't like it! Cubic?
JANICE: (to Randi, who's laughing hysterically) You're not even drunk!
SARAH: Cubic? Proudly Canadian! Cubic?
JANICE: "No doot aboot it!"
SARAH: "No doot aboot it!"
JANICE: "Where's your touque, eh?"
SARAH: "Do you have running water up there?" (Mimes the commercial.) YEAH! Shirts 'im, baby. No but-
JANICE: Get this, get this. (pointing to Randi, who's snort-laughing hysterically)
RANDI: Go away! Snort! Snort! I'm gonna have a hernia!
SARAH: This is the part where you need a video camera.
JANICE: I know!
RANDI: Oh, I'm hurting too bad, it hurts. It hurts!
SARAH: Are you ok now?
RANDI: No!
JANICE: "No!"
RANDI: OK, breathe..
SARAH: Make it stop! And-and..and what happened? Oh yeah, the guy came out: "Sorry!" and then Randi's like, "It's okay!" (Janice laughs) But then I think, it's pretty bad. You know you live in High River when your car alarm goes off and the first thing that goes through your head is not "Oh shit, somebody's stealing my car!" It's like, "Oh shit, I'm gonna wake up the neighbors!" (Janice bursts out laughing again) You know? Why do you need a car alarm for that?
Then I says to myself, I says "Mollys," I says, 'cause I calls myself Mollys when I talks to myselves. "Mollys!" I says, "....WOOOOO! Do NOT go in there!" It's a little toasty in here. Feelin' a little warm.
RANDI: What's that part again? Where he starts 'n'...Donuts? Er..
SARAH: What? Hmm?
RANDI: "Do you like donuts?" Or-
SARAH: Or "Want a donut?"
RANDI: "Want a donut?" "No doot aboot it!"
SARAH: "No doot aboot it!"
RANDI: "Is there running water?" This has been going on for three minutes!
SARAH: And seven seconds.
RANDI and SARAH: Eight...nine...
RANDI: Brauwagh!