An Event that changed my life #2

{This was a journal we wrote in My senior english class}

     There have been many events that have shaped and molded my way of thinking. The one that I remember the most is not just one event but several. When I was in seventh grade there was this kid, Jason, who constantly made fun of me. Everyday I would go to class and know that whenever he had a chance he would tear me down. He would comment on everything and anything about me that he could. He didn’t care about me and wanted to bring me down in every way that he possibly could. I tried to ignore what he said, but it still had a bearing on my mind. I began to believe what he said.
     Although I don’t remember exactly what he said in all the classes, I do remember one day in science class. I was sitting in the back of the room(where I sat in most of my classes) and Jason was in the front of the room. There were four rows of chairs and he was one row over from where I was. I remember that the teacher left the room for a minute. Jason started to say, "man, I wouldn’t want to look like some people in this room." He said it a couple of times. I think that everybody knew who he was talking about, it was me. I was sitting there kind of laughing, saying (very softly)"it’s me, it’s me." I may have been laughing on the outside, but I was dying on the inside. He continued to make fun of me the whole year. It made me very depressed.
     I think that this had a very big effect on my life. It caused me to draw back into my own little world. It caused me to become very antisocial. It made me so that I couldn’t say anything without fearing that he or someone else would make fun of me or make fun of what I said. It made me very depressed and made me be nervous around other people. I still have not gotten over the effects of his teasing. I still cannot say something without a little bit of fear that someone will make fun of me or what I say. I still am a very antisocial person. I still sometimes get depressed, but writing helps me overcome depression. I still cannot talk to someone comfortably unless I know them really well or feel comfortable around them.

Written by:
Me


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