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I've healed, I've move past, I've grown, and now I'm trying again. What am I trying? Well.. to allow human nature I suppose.
("To allow that, which truly does not matter, to slide" - Fight Club)
Oh yes, and since I'm about to turn 30 I've finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up. A Cultural Anthropologist. (A what!?) A social scientist who studies and compares human culture. Of course, my greatest interest is religious culture and my greatest draw has always been India. So, we'll see where that takes me. Right now it's taking me back to school, and I'm happy to go. I'm happy to have an active brain again and learn new ways of thinking.
I've more traveling to report, but this time it was for fun, not soul-searching. Went to the Mayan ruins of Tulum, Mexico. Did get to learn about the culture though, and it's great importance of centralized religion. The surrounding village would thrive or despair depending on the gods whim. And oh, the poor fate of nearby royalty.. seems the gods only accept royal blood, so nearby royalty is often kidnapped, kept alive for years, only to be slowly bled ceremony after ceremony. Also, the temples are built one on top of each other, which is why the older they are, the taller they are. The original temples, buried down down below are a smaller version of the greater, and house the tomb of some great important priest/ruler.
The trip was shared with the new beau, and how happy we were to be together during all this. Our greatest moment came when we unexpectedly had the opportunity to go swimming in the Gulf of Mexico right at the Tulum sight. The locals use it as a local swimming hole because one side of the walled city is rocky cliffs that eventually give way to a small white sandy beach. Despite being dressed only for a day of rock climbing we happily jumped in, clothes and all, and rode the emerald green waves with excited sqeals and brilliant smiles. It made the locals smile and laugh along to see us whooping it up in the water. I will never forget the sight of 1000 year old ruins layed out before me as I floated on my back, waves passing over me, the taste of salt readily on my lips, and the suprisingly comfortable Mexican sun above. *He* is great to travel with, and we could always count on the other to be impulsive and ready for more adventure.
I also recently had the opportunity to try that last mind altering substance that still interested me....mushrooms. Different. Pretty much the same frame of mind that 'cid puts you in. Contemplative, making new connections, new discoveries, playing with that big toy called thought. Also, I've discovered a stupidly simple means of being happy. But I had to look at it from the inside out to appreciate it. It is simply.. playing with toys. But I don't mean Lego's or Barbie and such.. I mean the body, with human interaction, with dancing, making noise and so on. I've been givin this big toy and it is pointless to be sedentary.. I'm to play with it! It is no sin, no morale outrage, no issue to just play with my ability to move, to run, to dance, to speak, to exist in the space I'm in. Why be shy? Why be embarrassed? Why put restrictions oneself when moving can be so much fun? And why oh why do people look so serious when they dance? Such sour serious faces would indicate work, but this is play. Why not close your eyes a little and smile because it feels good to move the whole body to music? MMMM... dreamy meditation when dancing.
The only things I did not enjoy about 'shrooms was the face that there were no visual hallucinations, nor was it all that kind to your body. In fact, I was downright sick afterwards, and it took me 2 days before I was back on solid food again.. woof! But I'm getting to be a tough old girl and always want to push myself to that next level of higher awareness.
I'm off to study now, but I'll leave you with this.. There is a large section of Mexico called 'Yucatan' (yu-ca-tan) which, in the Mayan tongue means "I don't understand you". So, when the Spanish "discovered" the Mayan people and egotisicly named the land they inhabited, they were only stupidly repeating the people they were asking. How's that for anthropological study! ;-}