(Availability Addict)
by
Darlene A. Stringer
Acknowledgments
Half-awake, thinking of starting her day, she lazily
rolled over. "Just another day of stress and guilt," so
she thought, reaching for that first cigarette. Something
seemed different. The air smelled clean. "Not after I
light my sixth finger," .... she snickered," the forecast
will be heavy smog with no clear air in sight." Finding
nothing there, she vocally demanded, "Where are you?" Not
that she really expected an answer. Simply not wanting to
get up for the pack in her purse, she demanded the pack
playing hide-n-seek to show itself. Being very lazy, she
opted for the slim prospect of finding a butt, not smoked
to the filter, in the ashtray.
Strange morning indeed! Clean air, hiding cigarettes,
now ..... no ashtray! The nicotine fit forced her out of
the bed to search her purse. She found no cigarettes, no
matches, no mercy! "Someone has played a bad joke on me
and I'm going to kill them," she contemplated murderously.
Every search, (even the garbage) , failed; everything was
tobacco free. She did not know whether to be mad, glad or
scared. One thing she did know .... she needed a cigarette
to rationalize anything!
"Too bad the machine downstairs is broken," she mourned,
as for a sick friend. More than a friend, her success...
eighteen years and still together! No amount of rationale
could have prepared her for the shock received upon leaving
for the corner store. The short walk for the necessary
"food" of her habit's hunger, put her on the long road of
the TWILIGHT ZONE! Half-smiling people wearing uniform
pastel colored jumpsuits, were walking on unfamiliar streets
.... of a town that she did not recognize!!! Her mind
SNAPPED!!!!! Wildly and blindly, half-crying, half-screaming,
she ran until the "eighteen years" took its toll. Dropping
to her knees (apparently in a park) amidst a crowd, she began
to sob! Lungs hurting, sweat pouring, looking sick,
delirious and through very laboured breathing she
managed to loudly plead, "Someone help me .... PLEASE!"
The approaching crowd wondered of her problem. She
spewed forth what appeared to be an insanely ludicrous
scenario. Quite a few began to back away! One kindly
gentleman though moved even closer, speaking softly, calmly,
reassuringly. He had a very soothing effect on her. She
requisitioned his help to answer some pertinent questions
... such as ... what town, year and planet this was! Slowly
she retold her tale. In doing so, that familiar craving
returned, causing her to openly solicit for a spare cigarette.
In the process she looked at the crowd. She spotted
the approach of what obviously were policemen. She over-
heard the general consensus condemning her as another crazed
drug addict. It dawned on her! She was thought to be 'mad
as a hatter'! She was going to be locked up! Fear
instinctively caused her to run!
She eluded her captors and hid in an empty alley. While
taking stock of her bad situation, matters grew even worse
as she felt the oncoming of another nicotine fit! While
searching a too clean alley for a half-smoked butt, she
lamented, "I COULD KILL FOR A CIGARETTE!" Not capable of
restraining herself any longer, she came out of hiding.
She had to have a cigarette!
Unsure of purchasing them, she strolled the streets;
occasionally begging a "smoke" from a passing stranger.
Strangers, with stranger looks, hurried past her. She
must have looked a sight! It could not be helped.
A man finally whispered for her to follow, that he
understood and would help her acquire one. "One? How
about a carton?", her growing need silencing her. She
kept the thought and followed the man. This world, be-
coming less ominous, now gave pause for her to take notice
of its freshness.
She noticed also this jaunt was becoming criminal-
like. (All things considered she could steal for ciga-
rettes!) Weaving in and out of a maze of several streets,
they finally ducked inside an old building. Racing up one
flight of stairs they reached their destination, a door!
The man knocked a series of knocks on the door, then quickly
left; his abrupt departure made her hesitate.
Immediately the door opened, revealing a derelict sort
of fellow gruffly demanding her needs. Quite taken aback,
she blurted out, "All I wanted was a cigarette!" Quickly
grabbing her arm, yanking her inside, he slammed the door
shut! The jaunt left her breathless, the confusion silent.
The man swiftly displayed a case containing an array of
cigarettes, with an accompanying lighter. Desperately...
she grabbed one and lit it. Drawing deeply until half-
smoked, comparing it to a religious experience, before even
speaking! She apologized for any rudeness, explaining her
addiction and the prior circumstances.
Acknowledging his notice of her needs, he began to state
his usual policy of payment first. Surprised, but willing to
pay anything ... she now worried of the legitimacy of her
money. "Since I am buying...I want this many," she stated,
lighting another and pocketing several.
Finished smoking and grateful, she held out a five
dollar bill; very willing to give it all-- for the few
cigarettes. The man looked at the money, then STARED at her!
Suddenly he grabbed her, he began violently shaking her.
He randonly screamed obscene opinions pertaining to junkies,
apparently aiming them towards HER!
"Cigarettes cost real money and a LOT OF IT," he bellowed!!
Holding her tightly, the madman stated intentions of
receiving his payment, "one way or another!" Panicked
and in self-defense, she grabbed a nearby ashtray and hit
the madman on the side of the head. He fell DEAD .... She WOKE UP!!!
Moral of this tale:
Cigarettes do kill!!!!