12 Jan 0910

Dear Mom,
They removed the bandages this morning and my wrists are healing just fine, although the scars will always be there. You should be receiving the official report on Susie's death with this post, but I feel you deserve to hear it directly from me.
Dad's been wonderful, sitting up all night and putting up with all my crap. You didn't. I realise some laws of physics just cannot be overturned. That isn't particularly satisfying. With this much pain, I feel somebody should be punished. Maybe that's why I cut myself.
Harmony BC1514 is carrying around the Anderson Orchestra on a tour of the disses. They were scheduled to play some Mozart and our ancient history teacher thought it would be a neat idea for us to listen to a real orchestra. So Susie and I took a shuttle.
I wish I was just telling you about how beautiful it was. We're mining moly and pallidium in a nova shell. There's so many free ions we get phosphorescent streamers and crimsom rippling sheets. The concert was in the Harmony's middle hold so we could see all this above and below with the music welling up and fading out and then climaxing at the same time as a blue white flash of lightenning.
I didn't realise what damage the lightenning did until too late.
Afterwards, we were jostling and crowding on Harmony's flight deck when suddenly I got a lump in my stomach. I felt like I went all hollow inside, and I was in a lonely fright. It must've been a superposition of the damaged R3.
All the way back I felt we were in danger, but I couldn't focus on it. That huge lightenning bolt had shorted out an R3 that was part of the mining. Now it was hurtling out of control.
We landed in Dis Sonoma and we were making our way through the transverse corridors back under the shell. Susie had paused in front of some hangar windows where the Santa Clara BC0922 had docked the night before. I was walking ahead when I realised the R3 was going to crash into the hangar.
I sprinted through the pressure door and grabbed the release handle just like I was taught. Everybody from the shuttle and the hangar crews were running for shelter. The R3 hit the Dis and vapourised, along with most of the hangar superstructure. The shock front blew out the hangar.
Time seemed to slow down as the Santa Clara twisted on its moorings. Then its bridge crashed into the corridor. It cracked but held. About twenty people got safely past me. If instead I had been alone, maybe....
Susie looked at me and then at the windows and then at me again. We both knew it was impossible, but she still had to try. The window finally gave out and shatterred into the vacated hangar. I released the door in Susie's face.
JenjenYou're awfully quiet this morning.
Nightmares. Memories.
I wish I could stop them for you.
Yesterday, when you were talking about your sister.
That really botherred you.
No. Not exactly. It made me remember. Do you ever think about her?
Yes. Sometimes at night.
She must hate you.
No, she forgave me just before she died.
I guess....
Whatever you want.
We were coming home from Grandma's. I was ten and Elaine was, oh, nine. Mommy and Daddy were in the front seat. Mommy kept telling him to slow down.
Me and Elaine were fighting, as usual. I don't know why. It was just a silly Barbie doll. The two of us were always fighting. Looking back, I can see it was my fault. I was the oldest. I should've know better.
Daddy finally turned around and whacked me. Then he started yelling at us. I wished he would just go away.
I don't remember the accident real good.  Mommy screamed to look out and then we slid under a semi. A sudden noise and we were jerked to a stop. Then it was all quiet. Mommy's blood was splatterred all over us and Daddy's head had fallen in my lap.
It took them an hour to cut me and Elaine out. After awhile you get tired of screaming.

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