"Nah"

by Ashley Hill

God knows how many times
I've envisioned your body
around a holy knife's teeth.
Lord knows how many times
you've envisioned my soul
around a bloody knife's finger.

I say I'm honored that you hate me so much
how can anyone feel honored when the only father they have doesn't exist.
and while i wait
for you to leave
i too
    find myself
fading with time.

c. 1997