Toupé Red's Bio Page

Date of Birth: Sometime in the 1780's, somewhere in Europe

Date of Death: Sometime in 1835 in Texas

Occupation: Uranium Prospector

Education Level: 2nd Grade

Cause of Death: It has been surmised through bone research that Toupé Red died from a combination of alcohol consumption and exposure to high levels of radiation. he was celebrating at a local saloon near Austin, Texas after Discovering a large Ore deposit. Unfortunately, there were also high amounts of uranium and plutonium at this site and with the combined effects of alcohol in his system, he spontaneously combusted. All that was left was a pile of bleached bones, a pair of cowboy boots with spurs, a red kerchief and the bartender's toupé - which was made from a combination of orangutan fur and horse hair - these were considered state-of-the-art at the time and were fire proofed. The bartender burned to death in the fire as did the rest of the patrons in the saloon when it went up in flames.

footnote: Toupé Red's bones were buried until disturbed by the construction of a nuclear power plant. Since that time, around 1949, Toupé Red has been wandering the Earth aimlessly and with one Hell of a hangover.

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