i am driven to write about my anniversary... but am stuck thinking about the fourth of july... what it really means... and the meaning it has being the day jeff and i were married.

growing up on the lake, we tended to be the family who had company every weekend from memorial day to labor day. all our friends knew that the beach was open to them anytime. so, they would come. they would bring everything they needed with them - food, drinks.... water toys, whatever. they'd use the house for it's bathroom. sometimes people would show up and unless we happened to notice the odd car in the drive way (which was across the street from the house), or take a look down at the lake, we might not even know if someone was there. we also moored boats for people. we seldom talked to any of them. it wasn't until just yesterday that i realized, perhaps we were simply being used. maybe it wasn't about being friends with the Young family, it was all about the free lakeside property we offered.

there was one day every summer, however, that was our day. mom would actually go to the trouble to invite people over for a 4th of July get together. all of our friends knew ahead of time they'd be invited. but the 4th was one day they actually waited for an invitation. boy was it fun! my uncle don would bring over little flags that he'd line the sidewalk/stone path that winded around the house and down to the beach. he and my father would "plan" fireworks for us.... shot off "promptly" at whatever time they seemed fit. we'd all gather down the hill with lawn chairs and bug spray and meet the rest of our neighbors for a front row seat... awaiting the spectacular show of over the counter "LEGAL" fireworks. we'd watch in anticipation for the underwater fireworks. once my father and uncle don hadn't secured the spinning wheel to the pier and it flew off in mid-display and landed in the water. however, instead of the water putting out the explosion, the wheel kept on turnin'. what fun that was! every year after that they'd "plan" for that to happen. in between the Youngs' summer firework display, we watch across the lake at the Michigan side and see all their "legal" fireworks that were spectacular! they were real fireworks, but across the lake was a different land. Michigan didn't have the laws we did.

i had a friend or two that i could count on to show up that day. sometimes they were already there having spent the night or the weekend. we thought we were so cool. we'd jump in my speedboat and drive in circles around the lake looking for the Deshone boys or the jon wirt or his buddy james. dru and i usually found them. we'd make sure they saw us and then we'd rush into the lake, tie down the boat and swim out to the raft where'd we plant ourselves awaiting the "boys". they'd either ski by, spraying us/drowning us with water, or they drive up.... stop and talk and then we'd climb in their boat and that was that. we'd hang out until firework time. sometimes we stayed in their boat to watch the fireworks out on the water. dru and i thought the boys liked us. i think it was more that we were the only girls their age on the lake. so, by proxy, we were the "hot" chicks!

every morning on july 5th my duty was to go down to the lake and pick up all the spent fireworks. it was too dark on the 4th to find them all. when i was younger, my sister and i would race down the hill and try to beat eachother to the fireworks that hadn't been fired off... the ones that would get dropped in the dark. in all the 15+ years of searching, i can't seem to remember one time where i found something. i don't know what kept the hope alive. i'd swear every year that i wouldn't even bother next year... i'd just walk around with a trash bag, scoop them all up and put them in the trash... but 365 days later i'd forget all that hassle and look anyway.

jeff and i live near a golf course. there isn't a lake around for at least 15 miles. so, the golf course has fireworks display every year. this year it was on sunday, july 2nd. i'd decided, with jeff, that we'd have both our families over for an ice cream bar and fireworks. lately i haven't been seeing eye to eye with my mother in law, but i felt like i needed to bite my tongue and invite them all over. the two days leading up to that night were painful for me. i had to clean and scrub and put away.... anything and everything that didn't belong in my house. i spent hours on the floor mopping the bathrooms and kitchen. i'm exhausted just thinking about it all. finally, around 6pm on the 2nd i'd finished - or just stopped, i'm not sure which. and, with a bit of prying i made sure my husband was home from his golf game and ready for company - even though it was just our parents. at the wedding last summer, my uncle don showed up with the same flags he'd planted at the lake for years. i walked out of the church arm in arm with jeff and there they were! the flags, standing at attention on the 4th of july. i kept those flags. after i'd finished cleaning and my parents showed up, i requested that my dad take care of the flags outside. i knew how i wanted them, but for some reason it seemed important for my dad to have free reighn... he did a fine job of setting them up!

the evening started of "iffy". jeff's mom was a bit upset that i made jeff stop his golf game to come home and finish the house with me. i knew she was mad. she as still made that i'd taken 5 days to go to chicago to meet some ladies in person from my biggest loser group. that, my friends, is an entirely different entry. anyway, they all showed up. we had ice cream, played some cards and then hit the back porch for some fireworks. everyone was sitting up ahead of my dad and i. we were the lone back seat watchers. they were all babbling about uneccesary things while the display was in full gear. my dad and i... we sat back and ewwwww'd and aahhhh'd at the explosions. we talked about 4ths gone by... about the underwater fireworks, about the morning after trash collection... silly stuff really, but none the less, 4th of July's gone past. i love reminicing (spelling?) with my dad. to him, everything little detail of his past reminds him of who he was, where he'd come from and what he is today. there isn't a story that he tells that doesn't have a moral to it.... he really is amazing.

today is the 4th. jeff and i were married a year ago today. and through the past year i'd discovered, just like my dad, that every little moment of our marriage has been molding me into who i am this very second. jeff is a very good man! i am lucky to say he's mine. in the last 12 months we've found out was "for better or for worse" really mean... "for sickness and in health"... "richer and poorer"! but for all of those things... and the memories of what was, we are ready to take on the next fifty plus 4th of Julys...

someday, maybe it'll be me and my son or daughter, sitting back away from the crowd talking about the yesterdays. it's no wonder why jeff and i sorta "fell" into our wedding taking place on the 4th. he too grew up out on a lake... his house was also "everyone's" summer home. i don't know that he was lucky enough to actually experience underwater fireworks, but he did experience the festival of the fireworks... the magical moments. and here we are today hidden in our own magical moment.... 1 down and 50+ to go!

happy anniversary jeff! thank you for the start of all the memories we'll share!