But Mike is well-aware that I am not to be trifled with on these matters. There's stuff I put up with...

• he never rinses his toothpaste spit down his sink
• he takes extended bathroom vacations several times a day for a half hour apiece, so that he can have some down time without hassle
• I cannot reasonably expect to call him at work when he's up to his butt programming and have a conversation that extends beyond monosyllabic responses on his part
• when he washes a pasta or rice pot that I will have to rewash it
• he does not clean bathrooms. He will clean any other room in the house, but for some reason, the bathroom is the sacrosanct responsibility of someone else. Being that no one else does bathrooms in the house, that's me.

I also talked with Russell a while last night. Someone said I shouldn't show him that I was upset and that he'd *gotten* me. All I could think is, "why the heck not?"

I think kids need to understand how they hurt people just as adults do. I explained that I hadn't really liked him lately. That I dreaded picking him up lately and I explained all the reasons why. I said I felt frustrated that we'd been having the same conversation on the way to the babysitter for weeks now about why it's important for me to pick up the baby on time for my $5 and I wasn't ok with him telling me how to drive.

I told him that I'd been really really sad about my job lately because I miss being with other people and that both he and his dad had to help me in the house because my job takes a lot of my time and that I felt I couldn't do much else because I was constantly having to pick up behind them. I explained that there was no reason I should pick up his towel and dirty clothes and that I simply couldn't keep up with both of them and take care of myself and the baby.

Russell said he was sorry. I said I was sorry. We hugged. He helped out a lot last night. Mike even did all the dishes and wiped down the table. Mind you, I wiped down all the counters and tossed out the trash, but Mike pitched in on laundry and switched loads in and out of the washer and dryer.

Of course, Mike and I had talked all day on irc. We opened up our telnet windows found a hidden irc network and made up our own channel and talked with each other intermittedly around working. He promised that he'd pitch in more.

And I've started looking for a job. I'm willing to consider something part-time in addition to this one, but it has to get me out of the house. Mike is really hoping I'll get something close to him, because he wants to see me at lunch, but I'd rather something here in town because it's closer to the kids in case of an emergency. If I had an xmas job a couple nights a week, that'd be cool.

I applied for a state position yesterday for something I'd be terrific at, but it looked like the entire town had done the same, so it's likely to be very competitive. The thing that I have going for me is that I've been doing stuff like this for some time and in a state government situation, though not this state. It's for a Public Affairs Officer. I think I'd be great at that. They wanted someone who could do newsletters. With all the web stuff and editing, that's totally no sweat. There's a hiring freeze in this state, but they are still taking apps, so nothing ventured nothing gained.

I am not in a huge hurry, but I'm going to continue to look. I figure if nothing else, I'm seeing some of these part time bookkeeping type positions which I could certainly handle. I just haven't done bookkeeping in years now, so I might have to wing it some. The only thing that Mike and I realized is that we may have to change Genny's daycare and that would totally suck if I get an 8-5. We'll just see what the universe brings.

I am also applying to some local department stores that I might enjoy discounts at, just to get out of the house. I don't expect to retain a job like that past Christmas, but at least I could meet other people if I worked there and I'd get to work with people. I love customer service, it just never pays half what it should.