January 10, 2002 My diabetic threshold is the weight, where I can't manage my sugars well. Usually, if I drop a lot of weight, I can eat a little bit off my food plan and still have good sugars. The weight I am not is obviously above that threshold. My fasting sugars the past few days have been 141, 125, and 138...usually I'm quite a bit below that. Breakfast I don't even bother adding a carb in. I've had an egg and a slice of bacon with a cup of coffee with flavored creamer which has a few carbs. If I do that, however, I end up with after food sugars of under 140, which is good. I had just a cold cut sandwich yesterday with a big salad and my after meal sugars were 138. That's not horrible, but it's not usual either. I usually run around with lower sugars than that. I didn't want to know about last night's after dinner sugars. Mike had handed me a hard cider, and while I only drank half of it and I think that, the apple sauce, and the small scoop of ice cream made for some serious sugar trouble, if this morning's fasting of 138 was any indication. Yeesh! I think it's safe to say my diabetes isn't happy with the enlarged holiday butt & gut thang. As a result of course, my high sugar back ache is back. The place I got the epidural with Genevieve hurts like a someone has a blunt ice pick stuck in my back and thwangs the handle on it periodically. I told Mike this morning that whenver I go to make a bowl of after dinner popcorn or a small bowl of ice cream that he is to hand me a bowl of salad and do something that hurts my back, so I remember to cut the shit. I've walked three times this week so far and tonight I go swimming, so I'm being good. I've got about 5 bags of salad in the fridge, so I've got plenty of before-bed munchies lined up in the fridge, and thus, no excuses, dammit. I have been thinking about Lent a lot. It's only about a month away. I used to fast -- go completely vegan for Lent, but with the diabetes that's not a really good option. I could probably do it, but I remember the last lent I fasted just before I got diagnosed...I was woozy all the time, so I'm just not doing that again. I know a lot of people just give up something like chocolate, but I don't eat tons of that. Diabetes, ya know?
I have been leaving it lately as the open spiritual question in front of me. What do I give up in my life that will bring me to a level of spiritual purity that will remind me the whole 40 days in the Wilderness up against supreme temptation? I have a month to meditate on it, so I'll let you know. I think I might have to give up cussing for Lent, which means I might have to start drinking heavily. Harumph.
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